Thursday, March 23, 2017

Parenting Pointers: Parenting in a PC World

Political correctness - or being PC - is kind of a big deal. We're told not to offend others, but sometimes that can lead to us not being firm or confident enough. Author and child psychologist Domenick J Maglio, PhD, shows how this can affect our parenting in a book I got to review, In-Charge Parenting: In a P.C. Nation.

Like any parenting book, there were things I didn't completely agree with. However, I did understand where he was coming from, and agreed with his overall premise - that parents need to be the authority in their children's lives.

Topics explored in In-Charge Parenting include:
  • How being a parent is a sacred duty that requires them to teach the child to survive without them and be productive members of society.
  • That parents who let their child dictate to them gives the child a distorted vision of reality. It is a parent’s obligation to be in charge and treat their child accordingly.
  • The importance of giving a child clear, definitive consequences for positive or negative behavior and why it is essential for moral value lessons.
I had a chance to interview him to learn more:

1. What are the dangers of parents being "too PC?"

Politically correct parenting does not work. A parent should not be concerned about being PC in any way. Parents should act according to the best interest of the child and not be handicapped by the indoctrination of the “permissive-materialistic child rearing experts.” These proponents created the PC rules, which have emasculated the power of parents.

In order for parents to fulfill their sacred duty they have to be the head of the family.  They need to be in charge to prepare the child to face the world successfully.

2. How can parents navigate the balance of a healthy relationship that includes proper use of authority?

A healthy parental relationship with children is when parents are in charge of the family. For a child to be normalized in society he needs to respect parental authority. Parents are the ultimate role models who teach their children how to relatewith all other authority figures such as teachers, coaches, police officers and employers. Without this particular training a child’s life will be filled with conflict, anger and possibly negative labeling.

Respect for parental authority is the foundation for a healthy parent-child relationship.

3. Why are clear consequences for actions so important?

Children should understand all of their actions have consequences. It is the job of the parent to reward good choices and punish bad ones. This use of positive and negative consequences reinforces the development of a child’s appropriate thinking and behavior.

Biting another toddler is wrong and helping out a sibling is right. These lessons are repeated in many situations to create the moral values of the child.

It is extremely important for the parent to administer the “just right, moral consequences” for the child to accept and respect the parent’s actions as a sign of love.  Discipline is love, love is discipline when not done in anger but to help the child become a healthy person.

There is no greater love than for a parent to do everything in their power to raise a loving, appropriately acting, moral and thinking person.

4. How can parents adjust their parenting style if they've been too lax?

When parents realize their children are out-of-control they need to sit down and agree on a new united strategy. This will be a necessary process in order to tighten up the direction the parents want to go with their children. Only when they are serious can the training begin. Both parents have to support each other and be on the same page before any retraining. Once the new ground rules are instituted and enforced, changes will be evident. The difficulty for the parents is continuing to be vigilant and not back slide into being wimps again. The children will test the new parameters and the parents need to win each and every one of the little skirmishes.

Following through with the consequences that have been stated is the key to regain the parental respect they squandered.

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