Tom Davis’s newly released memoir about his father, An American Hero: One Man’s Legacy of Fatherhood and Faith, is the quintessential story about overcoming extreme adversity, about succeeding against all odds.
Simultaneous to this story of success, there was a dark shadow that followed the Davis family for three generations. It’s a shocking tale of sexual exploitation that requires being told.
April being Sexual Assault Awareness Month and Child Abuse Prevention Month makes this the best time to share this compelling story. Hopefully, it can help spare others.
For more than six decades, the exploitation of three generations of the family’s children remained buried—that is, until now. Tom Davis has chosen to shine a bright light on what happened.
He wrote, “The dark secret that my father maintained for his entire married life was the ongoing sexual abuse that my mother suffered as a young girl.”
Tom continued, “It colored her whole life and made her emotions volatile, with erratic outbursts that were extremely hurtful to everyone around her. My dad honored her wishes and took her secret to his grave. And that was the one big mistake of his life.”
According to Tom, “In the case of sexual abuse, secrecy is poison.” During the post-war era, however, “It was a taboo topic that was never discussed.” Maintaining a “no-talk rule” ended up ruining many innocent lives.
Tom’s youngest sister, Therese, admitted that, at the age of six, she was sexually abused by a couple that her parents naively trusted. And his older sister’s two daughters suffered similar abuse at the hands of a serial pedophile.
Tom wrote, “The scourge of child sexual abuse is more widespread than most people realize, and it is perpetuated by the horrible mistake of secrecy.” Instead of burying it, hoping to spare those who are innocent, a bright light must be shined on the abuse of the innocent. “Speaking up boldly is the solution. It’s why I’ve included this highly sensitive material in the book about my dad.”
I had a chance to learn more in this interview.
What inspired you to write An American Hero and also include the stories about sexual abuse?
An American Hero is the true story of Jimmy Davis. Abandoned by his father, Jimmy refused to allow his meager upbringing in an orphanage to diminish who he would become later in life. A veteran from the Greatest Generation, Jimmy was one of the brave soldiers who fought in the Battle of the Bulge—the decisive battle that ended the NAZIS’ brutal reign over Europe. Entering the Army as a private, Jimmy left as a decorated officer.
When writing a biographical memoir about someone who is truly heroic, more often than not, only the positive aspects of the person’s life are cited. If a failure is mentioned, it’s included to demonstrate how the hero overcame a destructive issue.
We didn’t want An American Hero to fall into this category. We wanted a more accurate representation. We intended our biography to be painstakingly honest. Knowing how difficult life can be, we made the commitment to be completely transparent.
This included being forthright about sexual molestation—an issue that adversely affected Jimmy’s family profoundly. We wanted to demonstrate how “doing the right thing” during Jimmy’s era, which was to keep the sexual molestation of a child hidden, was actually the wrong thing to do.
Although it’s difficult for most to accept, when every fiber of their being wants to suppress what happened, we wanted the reader to know that secrecy only benefits the perpetrator. It never benefits the victim.
How did you break the code of silence on your mother’s sexual abuse as a girl?
This issue reared its ugly head concerning Jimmy’s wife, which he didn’t learn until after they were married. It also affected one of his daughters and several of his granddaughters. Because it did, we felt that an accurate representation of Jimmy’s life would not be complete, would not be accurate, unless we included this difficult subject.
When someone is sexually violated, the physical damage is minimal compared to what it does to the psyche, to the soul of the victim. Because Jimmy Davis made the commitment to maintain his wife’s secret, never divulging it to anyone, taking it with him to his grave, he believed he was honoring her. He believed he was fulfilling his marital commitment by maintaining her secret but, what he was actually doing, was keeping her from getting the help she desperately needed.
He wasn’t alone in thinking this way. During his era, the postwar years, maintaining secrets like this was considered the right thing to do. Although noble in intent, it was exactly the wrong thing to do. It meant that his wife’s destructive acting-out behavior, stemming from her arrested development, would never be addressed. It also meant that the mothering of her four children was less wholesome and nourishing than it should have been. This adversely affected all four of her children.
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What’s the book’s timely message for parents today?
In writing the book, we felt that, because this problem was so pervasive in the life of the Davis family, adversely affecting three generations, we needed to punch a hole in the wall of secrecy. We needed to release all of the pent-up, dark, destructive secrets. By doing so, we may not have been as brave as Jimmy Davis was, when he fought the NAZIS with bullets, but it is an act of courage nonetheless.
In Alcoholics Anonymous, there is a saying: “You are only as sick as your secrets.” We believe this to be true. Because shame and blame are routinely heaped on a victimized child, we felt that, by exposing the truth, we would shed the light of day on an issue that’s been shrouded in darkness for too long.
Jimmy’s wife, his daughter, and his granddaughters were told that, if they told their parents, they would no longer be loved. They believed this damnable lie. It meant these vulnerable children were deceived, shamed into silence by degenerates with evil intent.
This shaming is a constant in sexual violation, especially when the perpetrator is trusted. For moms and dads to protect their kids, knowing that once their innocence has been lost, it can never be restored, the key is to remain vigilant.
What do kids need from their fathers and mothers more than anything else?
Ask questions. Routinely, tell your children that they are loved and can tell you anything with impunity, but that’s not all. If there is a problem, address it. Fight your instinct to keep the violation hidden. Even though you feel like doing so will protect your child, it never does. In the long run, remaining silent will destroy their adulthood, which is the last thing you want to happen.
AUTHOR BIOS
Tom Davis, Jr. obtained his A.A. while playing football at Tennessee Military Institute and later earned his G.G. degree as a graduate gemologist. Having apprenticed as a jeweler, he worked in the jewelry department at Rich’s in Atlanta, doing so well that he was promoted, finally becoming the vice president of distribution and transportation. Then, at the age of thirty-two, looking to escape corporate politics, Tom began buying and selling used construction equipment.
Not long thereafter, he formed his own company, AT-PAC. During a trip to Greenville, South Carolina, at Flours Daniels Equipment Yard, the president of AMECO offered Tom to purchase forty container loads of scaffolding, in Edmonton, Alberta. Succeeding in this deal, he was awarded another contract for a $1.7 billion project, solidly establishing his business, which continues to operate profitably even though he is semi-retired.
Tom and his wife, Michelle, both philanthropists, live in Boca Raton, Florida. An avid sportsman and big-game hunter, Tom has five children and seven grandchildren, two girls and five boys.
Jack Watts is a prolific author and has been published twice by Simon & Schuster—Hi, My Name Is Jack and Recovering From Religious Abuse. He has written thirty-four books and screenplays including nine biographies, six of them commissioned. Jack received his A.B. from Georgia State University, his M.A. in Church-State Studies from Baylor University, and all but his dissertation for a Ph.D. from Emory University. He lives in Atlanta, Georgia, and has five children, eleven grandchildren, and four great-grandchildren so far.
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