While Where Wisdom Meets Wonder speaks to readers who have moved into the Third Act, it also calls out to parents of young children. These stories will give parents a reassuring glimpse of what’s to come.
This book is a confident statement about the turf that only a person in the wisdom years can command. It vindicates the dignity that, in our obsession with what dazzles the eye, has been lost in our meager evaluation of aging.
With joy and a reaffirmed sense of personal worth, Judith Frizlen seeks to change older people’s perspectives. She hopes these pages will inspire you to take on a beautiful new role as you step into the Third Act of life.
I had a chance to learn more in this interview.
Why can it be so beneficial for children to have bonds with grandparents? Parents carry a heavy load while working and raising young children. Often grandparents have more time and a strong desire to connect with their grandchildren. Grandparents have the wisdom to know that nurturing relationships matters most in life. They relish the sense of wonder and joy that young children bring. In a nutshell, the relationship between grandparents and grandchildren is mutually beneficial which increases its value. Children know that they can count on grandparents to be there as a first tier of support for them and their family. Bonds based on comfort and safety provide optimal conditions for brain development.
How can families encourage that connection even if different generations aren't geographically close? Visits with the sole purpose of connecting with the grandchildren are key. We still have not figured out how to give hugs on zoom. With physical contact as the foundation, audio and video connections can build on it. Sending pictures, commenting, and regular sharing are important. Consistency is key; check-ins at a regular time of day or week, can give everyone something to look forward to and to cherish afterwards. It is exclusively grandparent time, just like having a visit. My grandparents visited us every Friday evening and we looked forward to it so much!
As kids get older, how can grandparents make connections with teens and young adults, even if they don't understand or have any experience with their hobbies or interests? Grandparents do not need to understand the child’s hobbies and interests, they need only have an interest in the child. Asking questions about the child’s interests, who they share it with and how they feel when they engage in it. Grandparents can comment about the process, like it looks like you are learning a lot, or making friends, or having a lot of fun. When we show interest in the grandchild’s interests and notice their impact on the child, the child feels connection and support.
How do strong grandparent-grandchildren bonds help the adults in the middle generation as well? As I said in the beginning, parents carry the heavier load, but grandparents can lighten it by sharing time with grandchildren. We like to have our grandchildren on the weekend for an extended visit, often an overnight. We enjoy our time together and it gives the parents a chance to rest, go out, or do whatever they want. While interacting with grandchildren, we can also model what life experience has taught us about the importance of being kind and firm, embracing the child and having boundaries. These skills mature over time, giving grandparents a distinct advantage.
Judith Frizlen is a writer, teacher, mother, grandmother, and founder of the Rose Garden Early Childhood Center. An advocate for young children and everyone who cares for them – she is a champion of play. Judith likes to go on adventures with her husband – whether traveling, kayaking, hiking, bicycling, or just strolling through the local park. Her books include Unpacking Guilt, a Mother’s Journey to Freedom; Words for Parents in Small Doses; and Words for Teachers and Caregivers in Small Doses. Follow her blog at www.judithfrizlen.com.
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