Motherhood may be celebrated every year on Mother’s Day, but new research suggests the expectations placed on mothers remain far more demanding than many people realise.
A nationally representative survey of 600 UK adults commissioned by Vivastreet has revealed that more than half of respondents believe mothers are still expected to sacrifice everything, highlighting the pressure many women feel once they have children. In fact, self-sacrifice was overwhelmingly identified as the strongest expectation placed on mothers, far ahead of stability, emotional availability, or respectability.
These findings suggest that while society increasingly celebrates women’s independence and ambition, motherhood continues to carry a powerful cultural expectation: putting everyone else first.
Motherhood Still Isn’t Seen As ‘Empowerment’
Despite the enormous responsibility involved in raising children, Vivastreet’s research suggests that motherhood is rarely associated with empowerment itself.
When respondents were asked what people usually mean when they praise women for being ‘empowered’, career achievement and financial independence ranked highest, while motherhood was selected by only around 13% of respondents.
In other words, the role many women spend years navigating is not widely recognised as a form of empowerment in the same way as professional success.
Mothers’ Personal Lives Are Still Closely Watched
The survey also found that mothers’ relationship choices are the aspect of motherhood most likely to be scrutinised by others, ahead of how they spend their time, their emotional expression, or their spending habits.
This suggests that for many women, becoming a mother does not mean stepping out of public judgement - it simply shifts the focus of it. From dating to independence, mothers’ personal lives often remain open to commentary and scrutiny.
The Impossible Expectation: Independent And Nurturing
Meanwhile, this research highlights the conflicting expectations women are often expected to meet simultaneously.
More than a third of respondents said women face the most pressure to be both independent and nurturing at the same time, reflecting the tension many mothers experience between personal ambition and caregiving roles.
This creates a cultural paradox: women are encouraged to pursue careers, independence and fulfilment, yet motherhood is still associated with total self-sacrifice.
Mothers Aren’t Given Much Room to Learn
The survey also revealed that women receive relatively little grace when navigating major life roles.
Respondents said women are given the least room to learn through experience when it comes to sex and relationships, with parenting ranking close behind. This suggests that motherhood carries an expectation not only of sacrifice, but of getting everything right.
Decisions Still Questioned ‘For Their Own Good’
Vivastreet’s findings suggest that mothers remain among the groups of women whose decisions are most likely to be questioned ‘for their own good’.
While younger women and sex workers ranked higher overall, mothers were still identified as a group whose personal decisions are frequently scrutinised or second-guessed. This suggests that judgement around women’s choices often follows similar patterns across different areas of life - from parenting decisions to relationships and work.
At the same time, the survey points to growing recognition that conversations around women’s empowerment should include sex workers, with a clear majority of respondents saying it is either very or somewhat important that sex workers are part of discussions about women’s rights and independence.
For mothers who work in sex work, that recognition can be particularly significant. Being included in conversations about women’s empowerment challenges the idea that motherhood and non-traditional work are incompatible and reflects a broader shift towards recognising the diverse ways women support themselves and their families.
Elizabeth Romanova, a mother and escort who advertises on Vivastreet, says:
‘Motherhood and sexuality are not mutually exclusive. A mother is still a woman with agency, intelligence, and the right to make choices about her life and work.
For me, what matters most is whether a mother is loving, present, and providing a stable life for her child. The industry someone works in does not determine the quality of their parenting - character, responsibility, and care do. My work has given me financial independence and flexibility that many traditional careers simply wouldn’t offer. It has allowed me to provide a comfortable life, invest in my daughter’s future, and be present for important moments in her life rather than constantly tied to a rigid schedule.
People often assume that women in this industry are irresponsible or incapable of being good parents. In reality, many of us are extremely disciplined, organised, and motivated precisely because we are mothers. Supporting a family requires resilience, and many women in this industry have an extraordinary amount of it.’
A Cultural Pressure Loop
Taken together, the findings point to what some experts describe as a cultural pressure loop surrounding motherhood. Women are encouraged to be confident, ambitious and independent - traits the survey found are most associated with empowered women today. However, once motherhood enters the picture, expectations around self-sacrifice and responsibility often return.
For some women, those expectations can intersect in complicated ways. Mothers who pursue non-traditional work, including sex work, may do so to provide financially for their children - yet the survey found more than half of respondents said they would rethink supporting a woman they admired if she chose that path. Notably, the data also suggests much of this hesitation comes from other women, highlighting how cultural expectations around ‘acceptable’ motherhood can sometimes be reinforced within the sisterhood itself.
Ultimately, while Mother’s Day celebrates everything mums do for their families, the data suggests that behind this appreciation lies a set of expectations many mothers still feel they must live up to.
I had a chance to learn more in this interview with Elizabeth Romanova.
What would you say to someone who believes mothers shouldn’t work in the adult industry?
I would say that motherhood and sexuality are not mutually exclusive. A mother is still a woman with agency, intelligence, and the right to make choices about her life and work. For me, what matters most is whether a mother is loving, present, and providing a stable life for her child. The industry someone works in does not determine the quality of their parenting - character, responsibility, and care do.
How has your work helped you provide for and support your child?
My work has given me financial independence and flexibility that many traditional careers simply wouldn’t offer. It has allowed me to provide a comfortable life, invest in my daughter’s future, and be present for important moments in her life rather than constantly being tied to a rigid schedule. I’ve always been very intentional about building security and opportunities for her.
What do people often misunderstand about mothers who work in this industry?
People often assume that women in this industry are irresponsible or incapable of being good parents. In reality, many of us are extremely disciplined, organised, and motivated precisely because we are mothers. We understand responsibility very deeply. Supporting a family requires resilience, and many women in this industry have an extraordinary amount of it.
Do you think mothers face unrealistic expectations or have their personal choices judged more closely?
Absolutely. Society tends to place mothers on a very narrow pedestal of what they’re ‘allowed’ to be. A mother is expected to sacrifice everything and almost become invisible as a woman. But women are complex human beings - we can be nurturing mothers and independent, sensual, ambitious women at the same time.
Only 13% of respondents said motherhood is empowering. Has motherhood felt empowering for you, and if so, how?
For me, motherhood has been one of the most empowering experiences of my life. It gave me a very clear sense of purpose and strength. When you’re responsible for another human being, you discover a resilience and determination you didn’t know you had. It made me more focused, more protective of my independence, and more determined to build a stable life.
The survey also found that women are sometimes the most critical of other women in the adult industry, and of mothers more broadly. Is that something you’ve experienced?
Yes, unfortunately that can happen. Sometimes women internalise the same societal judgements that have been placed on us for generations. But I also believe things are changing. More women are beginning to support each other’s autonomy and recognise that empowerment can look very different from one person to another.
What does your child know about your work, and what do they think about it?
My daughter understands that I work independently and that I’ve built my career in a way that provides for our life. As she’s grown older, our conversations have become more open and mature. What matters most to me is that she sees a mother who is honest, hardworking, and supportive of her dreams.
Have your friends and family been supportive of your work?
Support can vary, as it does in any unconventional career. Some people have been incredibly supportive, while others needed time to understand my choices. Ultimately, the people who truly care about you tend to respect the fact that you’re living your life authentically and responsibly.
What does empowerment mean to you as a woman, mother, and escort?
Empowerment, for me, is about autonomy. It’s about having the freedom to shape my life, make my own decisions, and take responsibility for the outcomes. As a mother, empowerment means providing security and opportunities for my child. As a woman, it means embracing my independence and identity. As an escort with Vivastreet, it means working on my own terms, with dignity and self-respect.
Elizabeth Romanova is a professional escort from Vivastreet.
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