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Friday, October 30, 2026
Movie Minute - Bad Apples
Money Matters - WalletHub Economic Index
Consumers feel over 5% less confident about their financial outlook this month than they did one year ago, according to the latest WalletHub Economic Index, released today.
The WalletHub Economic Index is based on a monthly survey that evaluates economic prospects based on 10 components of consumer sentiment. These components revolve around how people feel about their finances, purchasing plans and employment opportunities.
Key Stats
- Decreasing debt-reduction confidence: The share of consumers who expect to have less debt after the next six months decreased by almost 13% in October 2026 compared to last year. At the same time, this is the lowest index value recorded since December 2020.
- Credit score insecurity: The share of consumers who expect their credit score to increase in the next six months is over 8% lower in October 2026 compared to last year, registering the lowest level since December 2020.
- Large purchases are not a priority: In October 2026, consumers’ likelihood of making a large purchase in the next six months is over 6% lower than it was last year.
- Decreasing interest in auto purchases: The share of consumers who expect to buy a car in the next six months is almost 5% lower in October 2026 compared to last year.
- Real estate popularity decline: Home-buying interest among consumers decreased by over 4% in October 2026 compared to last year.
“The over 5% decrease in consumer sentiment over the past year is a worrying sign that our economic recovery may be stalling, and it demonstrates that people are not optimistic about their financial future. People who have low financial confidence are likely to spend less money, make fewer large purchases, and pay down less debt than people with high confidence. As a result, when consumer sentiment experiences a significant decrease, that is negative for the economy.”
- Chip Lupo, WalletHub Analyst
Travel Tidbits - Nearly Half of Women 40+ Are Interested in a Menopause Retreat, Here Are the Best U.S. Destinations During Menopause Awareness Month
October is Menopause Awareness Month, putting a renewed spotlight on the health, well-being and everyday experiences of women navigating perimenopause, menopause and postmenopause.
For many women, a restorative trip may mean more than a spa weekend. Sleep, privacy, stress relief, gentle movement and access to women’s healthcare all emerged as priorities in new research examining what women would actually want from a menopause retreat.
Womea, a menopause health platform, analyzed 73 U.S. destinations to identify the places best positioned for a menopause retreat, comparing wellness, fitness accessibility and women’s health measures using spa, yoga studio, gym and OB-GYN listings alongside U.S. Census population data. Womea also surveyed 1,000 U.S. women aged 40 and older in September 2026 to understand their interest in menopause retreats, preferred activities and amenities, dream destinations and how much they would be willing to spend.
Key Takeaways:
Sun Valley, Idaho, ranks as America’s No. 1 destination for a menopause retreat, followed by Blowing Rock, North Carolina, at No. 2 and Malibu, California, at No. 3. North Shore, Hawaii, and Kauai, Hawaii, complete the top five.
Nearly half of women aged 40 and older, 46.6%, said they were interested in a menopause retreat, compared with just 4.2% who said they had attended, booked or planned one. That means more than 11 times as many women expressed interest as had already taken steps toward one.
Women would spend an average maximum of $648 on a three-night menopause retreat that included a private room, meals and wellness activities. The median maximum budget was lower at $500.
Spa services were the most requested retreat feature, selected by 56.3% of women, followed closely by uninterrupted sleep at 53.1% and stress-reduction sessions at 52.9%.
Comfort and privacy are major priorities too. Nearly half wanted a private room and time alone, 49%, while 48.7% wanted temperature-controlled rooms. Sleep coaching appealed to 27%, while 26% selected blackout curtains.
When it comes to activities, 69% of women chose yoga or gentle stretching and 65% wanted hiking or guided nature walks. Swimming or water exercise appealed to 57%, while 49% selected strength training.
Hawaii dominates women’s menopause retreat wish lists. Lānaʻi was the most-selected dream destination at 24.9%, narrowly beating the Big Island at 24.7%. Asheville followed at 14.6%, Aspen at 14.5%, Sedona at 13.3% and Palm Beach at 10.1%.
Where women dream of going and which destinations perform best in the study are strikingly different. Lānaʻi is women’s No. 1 dream destination but ranks just No. 66 overall, while the Big Island ranks No. 30 and Asheville ranks No. 45. Of the six most-selected dream destinations, only Sedona at No. 15 and Palm Beach at No. 17 make the study’s top 20.
Sun Valley is the only destination to rank No. 1 for both wellness and fitness accessibility, while overall runner-up Blowing Rock ranks No. 2 in both categories. Sun Valley also recorded the study’s highest calculated rates for spas, yoga studios and gyms.
Malibu reaches No. 3 overall despite ranking No. 35 for wellness and No. 60 for fitness accessibility, helped by its No. 1 ranking on the women’s health measure. Rhinebeck, New York, ranks No. 2 for women’s health, followed by North Shore, Hawaii, at No. 3.
The 10 best destinations for a menopause retreat are Sun Valley, Idaho; Blowing Rock, North Carolina; Malibu, California; North Shore, Hawaii; Kauai, Hawaii; Naples, Florida; Rhinebeck, New York; Park City, Utah; Woodstock, Vermont; and Lake Placid, New York.
At the other end of the ranking, Nashville, Tennessee, finishes last at No. 73, followed by San Diego, California, at No. 72 and Austin, Texas, at No. 71. Tucson, Arizona, and Colorado Springs, Colorado, tie at No. 69; Lānaʻi, Hawaii, St. George, Utah, and The Berkshires, Massachusetts, tie at No. 66; Whidbey Island, Washington, ranks No. 65; and Seattle, Washington, and Portland, Oregon, tie at No. 63. Because of ties, the bottom 10 ranking positions contain 11 destinations.
You can view the full study here: https://womea.com/research/
Travel Tidbits - Ideas for Argentina, Brazil, and Chile
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It's all about ABC... Argentina, Chile, and Brazil - the triangle of off-the-grid adventures, soul-stirring cultural encounters, and unexpected luxury in the wildest of places and Vivaterra does it best. Argentina: Tango, Gauchos & Glaciers with a Twist
Chile: From Moon Valleys to Starry Skies
Brazil: Beyond the Beaches
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Enriching Education - International STEM Day Brings New Focus to Block Play and Spatial Skills
head of International Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics (STEM) Day on November 8, new research is adding evidence to the evidence linking block play, a familiar part of preschool education, to children’s spatial development. A 2026 study examined unstructured play with wooden unit blocks among 110 preschoolers. Researchers found a significant association between the way children arranged the blocks and their performance on tests measuring how well they understood shapes, position, and spatial relationships. Children with stronger spatial skills also built larger, more elaborate structures. Researchers suggested that giving children opportunities to tackle more challenging projects may help further develop those abilities.
Adding the arts to STEM creates STEAM, an approach that incorporates creative expression into the science, technology, engineering, and mathematics framework. At Archway Academy, a South Carolina early childhood education provider with more than four decades of experience, preschoolers explore these concepts through activities such as building towers, testing which objects sink or float, and investigating how plants grow. “For a three- or four-year-old, STEAM should feel hands-on, engaging, and driven by their natural curiosity,” said Tami Nix, president of Archway Academy. “We want children testing ideas and discovering solutions at a level that makes sense for their age.”
Preschool STEAM Starts with Materials Children Can Test and Change
In a 2025 randomized controlled trial involving 242 preschoolers from low-income families, researchers compared free block play, semi-structured block play, and usual classroom activities. The study reported stronger outcomes in geometry and behavioral regulation for children assigned to free block play compared with usual classroom practice.
Nix said preschool technology shouldn't rely on electronic devices or screens. Archway Academy’s four-year-old curriculum, for example, includes a coding mat that children use to direct a character forward, backward, left, or right. “Technology at this age can be a simple tool,” Nix said. “A magnifying glass, a ramp, or a coding mat.”
Art gives children another way to plan, represent, and revise an idea. A child might sketch a bridge before building it, use different materials to create an interpretation of an animal, or bring music and movement into the activity. In each case, the child makes choices and can adjust the idea as the work develops. “The arts help children understand that there is not always one correct answer,” Nix said.
Teachers Need to Know When to Step Back
During block play, the teacher’s role is to create the environment, provide materials, and observe how children approach the challenge. Instead of explaining exactly how to build a tower, an educator might ask what could happen if the larger blocks were placed at the bottom or which block could complete a pattern.
Nix said that balance depends on knowing the child and understanding their needs and responses. Teachers can listen to children’s conversations and watch for signs that they are becoming frustrated, losing interest, or need a new material or question. That allows them to step in when support is needed while preserving room for the child to experiment.
When a project collapses, teachers can encourage children to consider what happened. Was the tower too tall? Would a wider base or different block make it more stable? Those conversations introduce cause and effect, problem-solving, perseverance, and the idea that an unsuccessful first attempt still provides useful information. “Children can evaluate what happened and try again,” Nix said. “We want them to understand that a mistake is a natural part of learning.”
Parents Can Look for Evidence of Thinking
Nix said parents can look for STEAM in the decisions children make during ordinary activities. In one classroom, children explored size by arranging themselves from shortest to tallest and sorting books from smallest to largest. The activity let them work with measurement and comparison using people and objects they could see directly.
A strong STEAM curriculum should help children show their thinking in different ways. When every child is expected to follow the same steps toward the same finished product, it can be harder to see the experimentation and decision-making that are central to STEAM learning.
From block building to measurement and experimentation, these experiences show how everyday play can turn into opportunities for problem-solving. For families evaluating a preschool, the clearest signs of meaningful STEAM may be visible in the classroom itself. “Parents should look for children who are actively engaged, appropriate learning materials, and teachers working with children at their level,” Nix said. “They should be able to see evidence of learning throughout the classroom.”
About Archway Academy
When Tami Nix had the opportunity to acquire a small childcare business in 1985, she saw the foundation for something more than traditional daycare. More than 40 years later, Archway Academy has grown into a multi-site South Carolina early childhood education organization serving children from infancy through four-year-old kindergarten (4K), along with after-school and summer programs. Archway Academy’s approach focuses on preparing the whole child through hands-on learning, trained teachers, parent involvement, and age-appropriate experiences that support children socially, emotionally, physically, and academically. Its newest campus in Greenville extends that approach across approximately 4.5 acres of park-like outdoor space. For more information, visit Archway Academy.
References
- Gold, Z. S., Perlman, J., Howe, N., & Byrd, N. S. (2026). Block play supports children’s informal and formal spatial skills. Cognitive Development, 79, 101740. doi.org/10.1016/j.cogdev.2026.
101740 - Schmitt, S. A., Purpura, D. J., Duncan, R. J., Bryant, L., Zehner, T. M., Devlin, B. L., Geer, E. A., & Paes, T. A. (2025). Testing block play as an effective mechanism for promoting early math, executive function, and spatial skills in preschoolers from low-income backgrounds. Early Childhood Research Quarterly, 71, 163–173. doi.org/10.1016/j.ecresq.2024.
12.011 - STEM.org. (n.d.). International STEM Day & STEM Week. Retrieved October 20, 2026. stem.org/stem-day/
Enriching Education - Because of You Podcast
Because of You is a digital series co-created and hosted by Colton Underwood in partnership with California Cryobank. In the final episode, Colton sits down with three sperm donors to explore their motivations, experiences and the stigma surrounding donor conception.
When people talk about fertility and family building, the focus is often on those hoping to become parents. But what about the men who help make those families possible - and may never meet the children they help bring into the world?
For Colton, who has openly shared his own journey to fatherhood, the series is deeply personal. Inspired by a desire to see greater representation of same-sex parents and the many paths to parenthood, Because of You shines a light on the many ways families are being built today.
Click HERE to Watch the finale on YouTube.
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L to R: Carsten and Colton Underwood. Photo Credit: California Cryobank.
Movie Minute - Being Heumann
They wouldn’t take Judy Heumann’s phone calls, so she took their building. In 1977, a young disabled woman (Ruth Madeley) and a scrappy coalition of outsiders decide they’ve had enough. What begins as one impulsive act becomes the longest occupation of a federal building in American history, as hundreds spontaneously seize government offices and refuse to leave until the bureaucrat in their way (Mark Ruffalo) takes action. Bringing rebellion in all its forms to the hallowed halls, a movement’s accidental leaders struggle to find their path forward where none has ever been paved for them. Directed by Academy Award winner Siân Heder (“CODA”) and based on true events, “Being Heumann” is the revolutionary, irreverent and deeply human story of the least likely people trying to pull off the impossible and change the lives of millions.
“Being Heumann” will debut in select theaters on November 6, 2026 and premiere globally on Apple TV Friday, November 13, 2026.
About Apple TV
Apple TV is available on the Apple TV app in over 100 countries and regions, on over 1 billion screens, including iPhone, iPad, Apple TV 4K, Apple Vision Pro, Mac, popular smart TVs from Samsung, LG, Sony, VIZIO, TCL and others, Roku and Amazon Fire TV devices, Chromecast with Google TV, PlayStation and Xbox gaming consoles, and at tv.apple.com, for $14.99 per month with a seven-day free trial for new subscribers. For a limited time, customers who purchase and activate a new iPhone, iPad, Apple TV 4K or Mac can enjoy three months of Apple TV for free.*
For more information, visit apple.com/tvpr and see the full list of supported devices.
Thursday, October 29, 2026
Going Green - günamüna Fall/Winter Collection
As temperatures drop and chilly nights settle in, parents are looking for ways to keep their little ones warm, cozy and comfortable at bedtime. Premium baby brand günamüna has the perfect cold-weather lineup, with thoughtfully designed sleep sacks, wearable blankets and ultra-soft layers that make winter nights a little easier for babies and parents alike.
Known for its buttery-soft bamboo-rayon fabrics and signature WONDERZiP® design that makes middle-of-the-night diaper changes easier, günamüna offers a range of cozy essentials for the colder months.
With 2.5 TOG options designed for room temperatures of approximately 58–70°F, these cozy essentials make it easy for parents to transition their little ones' sleep wardrobes as the seasons change.
You can explore the full Fall/Winter Collection here.
Known for its buttery-soft bamboo-rayon fabrics and signature WONDERZiP® design that makes middle-of-the-night diaper changes easier, günamüna offers a range of cozy essentials for the colder months.
With 2.5 TOG options designed for room temperatures of approximately 58–70°F, these cozy essentials make it easy for parents to transition their little ones' sleep wardrobes as the seasons change.
You can explore the full Fall/Winter Collection here.
Healthy Habits - Time To Fall Back! Doctors Explain How Standard Time May Impact Your Physical & Mental Health
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On Sunday November 1st, the nation will turn the clocks back one hour, ending daylight saving time. And sleep doctors say changing the clocks back and forth twice a year can impact your body and pose health risks.
In fact, the American Academy of Sleep Medicine advocates we permanently stay on standard time, because it is more in line with a person’s natural bio-rhymes and produces fewer negative health outcomes. This is the opposite of a current push in Congress to make daylight saving time permanent.
“Our circadian rhythm is designed to be exposed to bright light when we get up in the morning, and it’s supposed to start getting darker in the evening, causing dim light melatonin secretion, which for most people starts around 7 P.M.,” says Adrian Pristas, M.D., Hackensack Meridian Director of Sleep Medicine. “If we have too much bright light in the evening, our body won’t produce the melatonin it needs to fall asleep in a timely manner.”
Daylight saving time typically causes a spike in cardiac incidents, atrial fibrillation and even car crashes in adults as our bodies have a hard time adjusting to the change of the clocks, even by the one hour. But the switch to standard time can have an impact on shift workers who end up working a longer day when the clock turns back.
Time Change and Depression
While the transition to standard time is believed to be better for a person’s cardiac health, it can have a detrimental impact on a person’s mental health. A study found the sudden transition to standard time from daylight saving time results in an 11% increase in depressive episodes.
The change of time during daylight savings time in the fall may have different mental health effects on different people. Many will have minimal disruption to their daily lives while others may experience more clinically significant impacts, such as onset of seasonal affective disorder, anxiety and depression over darkness setting in earlier.
“Some of the possible negative effects include disrupted sleep patterns due to losing one hour of sleep leading to short-term sleep deprivation, fatigue, and changes in concentration and productivity levels,” said Thomas F. Priolo, M.D., Medical Director of Child and Adolescent Consult-Liaison Psychiatry at Hackensack Meridian Jersey Shore University Medical Center.
“Coinciding with the change in time we also see an increase in incidence of depression, likely related to the reduction in sunlight. We also see an increase in anxiety secondary to the loss of the hour.”
The “fall back” time is generally considered the time of year when seasonal affective disorder also increases in symptom severity, lasting through the days of winter. With seasonal affective disorder we see depressed mood, low energy, decreased motivation which is an episodic mood disorder lasting throughout the winter months generally improving when spring starts and daylight hours start to increase again.
There are different ways to cope with these negative mental health effects of the time change:
● Gradually adjust your sleep schedule in the days prior to time change so your body is used to this sudden change.
● Increase exposure to sunlight in the morning hours, which can help regulate your circadian rhythm and support a healthy mood.
● If this is not possible you can also use an artificial sunlight lamp. These lamps can be found for less than $20 and are best used for 30 minutes after waking in the morning.
● Keep a healthy sleep schedule, with evidence to support having 1 hour or less of variation in sleep and wake time each day.
● If mood continues to worsen and the above coping strategies are ineffective professional help is available and can range from short term therapy to medication management.
Time Change for Children
Another group that has a hard time with the time change in both directions are young children. Parents of small children often dread these shifts, which upend nap and bedtime routines. With an understanding of how the time change affects sleep, and a bit of planning, parents can help ease the transition for their family.
For young children the fall time change can cause young children to crash before bedtime, and then wake up earlier than usual in the morning. “Falling back” is typically easier on teenagers, as puberty kicks in, they tend to start falling asleep later, as hormones shift a child's "circadian rhythm" or internal clock by an hour or two.
While time changes can cause some drowsy days, kids usually adjust within about a week. If your child continues to have problems sleeping, talk with your pediatrician.
Experts say parents should help their children prepare for the time change gradually:
● For younger children, start nudging naps and bedtime in the direction the clocks will be changing a few minutes each day. Ideally, start this process about a week before the time change.
● Encourage older kids to start winding down a bit earlier each night, too, especially for the spring time change. Try to plan on dinner earlier, since eating too close to bedtime can cause indigestion and make it hard to sleep.
Parents should encourage healthy sleep habits year round including:
● Limiting screen time before bed. Blue light from phones, computers, tablets, TV and even nightlights can trick the brain into thinking that it's daytime. Have your child put all screens away at least an hour before bedtime and charge them outside their bedroom. This way, they won't be tempted to check text messages or social media posts.
● Having set nighttime routines. This lets your child's body know that it's time to unwind and go to sleep. For younger kids, having a brush, book bed routine, cuddling, or listening to quiet music.
● Getting enough exercise during the day can help kids sleep better, too. Just avoid too much physical activity close to bedtime, which can make it hard to unwind. Choose quiet activities like stretching or yoga later in the day.
● Spending some time outside and being exposed to natural light during the day can help reset your child's internal clock after a time change. Sunlight has a strong effect on the body's circadian rhythm.
● Relaxing activities in the evenings help support a healthy sleep cycle. Examples include a warm bath with Epsom salts, reading a book that's not on a screen, meditation, soft music or writing in a journal.
● Using soothing scents like lavender are also shown to help people fall asleep faster. Some parents also find that melatonin supplements help to reset their child's circadian rhythm back so they can fall asleep at a normal time. Melatonin should be given in very small doses of 0.3 to 0.5 mg about 2 hours before bedtime, and used only for a short amount of time. Be sure to talk to your pediatrician before giving your child melatonin.
Book Nook - Serve Others, Live Without Fear
You've likely seen the warning before disturbing footage airs: “Some viewers may find these images upsetting.” Police officers, firefighters, EMTs and other first responders don’t get that warning.They walk into the horrific accident.They enter the home where a child has died.They see the victims of violence. They arrive at fires, suicides, murders and tragedies most Americans will never witness firsthand. Then the emergency ends.The television cameras leave.The public moves on. But what happens to the first responders who can’t forget what they saw? What happens to the officers emotionally? How do they deal with this?
I had a chance to share this Q&A with Lance J. LoRusso, a former law enforcement officer, founder of the Blue Line Lawyer Institute, and author of Serve Others Live Without Fear. He says says there are some things first responders simply cannot unsee - and leaving the profession or retiring doesn’t necessarily leave those memories behind. The public often calls first responders “fearless.” LoRusso says that misses an important point. They aren’t fearless.Courage is doing the job despite the fear - and then finding a way to live with what the job has exposed you to.What inspired you to write Serve Others. Live Without Fear, and why did you feel this was the right time to write it?
I have always been inspired by the courage shown by our clients under extreme circumstances as they put their lives on the line for strangers. Given all of the criticisms of law enforcement officers in the past decade, this was a story that needed to be told now.
The title brings together two big ideas—serving others and living without fear. How are those two ideas connected?
Putting your personal comfort and safety aside are necessary steps to putting others first. That requires a certain amount of courage and applying that message of living your life without fear is the only way to ensure success in your efforts.
You describe fear as something that can be turned into motivation. How can someone recognize when fear is motivating them versus controlling them? You’ve worked in law enforcement and represented public-safety professionals facing extremely high-stakes situations. What have those experiences taught you about courage that most people may not understand?
Fear takes many forms and often creeps into our decision making incrementally when we least expect it. However, some circumstances will involve fear as a natural human reaction. It is essential to prepare for those moments to avoid allowing fear to control you.
Is living without fear actually possible, or is the goal really to learn how to act despite being afraid?
You will always be afraid. Human beings have fear embedded into their DNA and their biological structures. The goal is to avoid letting fear control your decisions.
Your book emphasizes that courage isn’t limited to police officers, firefighters, soldiers, or people facing physical danger. What does everyday courage look like to you? \ You introduce the idea of T.I.T.O.—“This Is The Opportunity.” What does that mean, and how can someone use that mindset when facing a difficult situation? What is one story in the book that you think best captures the message you want readers to remember?
Recognizing that every moment in your life is an opportunity is the best way to move through struggles and prepare for them in advance. The foreword describes one man's journey from a soldier to police officer to special forces soldier to retirement and then to nursing as an example of how each opportunity can only be maximized by facing your fears and moving forward.
Can serving other people actually help us deal with our own fear, anxiety, or uncertainty? If so, why?
Absolutely. When we put ourselves second and put others first, not only do we put our own struggles into perspective, time and again we realize that through service we manage our own insecurities.
How do you distinguish genuine fear—which can warn us about danger—from the kind of fear that unnecessarily holds us back?
Often, they are the same. Biologically and chemically they are absolutely the same. The fear of an exam that raises your blood pressure and heart rate is the exact same fear that a law enforcement officer feels going into a building after an armed subject. That is the point of the book: recognizing that every part of your body may be telling you not to move forward but your heart and your brain can override that fear.
You’ve seen people make decisions under tremendous pressure. What separates people who move forward despite fear from those who become paralyzed by it?
Often, very little. It may be faith, training, dogged persistence, or just a desire to achieve a goal. The soldiers and law enforcement officers and firefighters who commit incredible acts of bravery are no different than anyone else.
How have your own ideas about fear changed from your early days in law enforcement to where you are today?
Yes. I learned that a certain amount of fear is normal and to be expected in just about every challenge and human interaction.
Was there a particular experience in your own life when you realized that fear was keeping you from doing something important?
No. I really learned early in my life to manage that fear although I have become much more proficient in doing so with age and experience.
What role does preparation play in courage? Can people actually train themselves to respond better when fear hits?
Absolutely estimation point this is the basis of public safety training and even self-defense training. First-aid and CPR classes are taught to average individuals who may not have any idea what to do in a crisis but who will respond predictably and admirably following their training.
For someone who finishes the book and says, “I want to live this way,” what is one thing you would challenge that person to start doing tomorrow If readers remember only one sentence, principle, or lesson from Serve Others. Live Without Fear, what do you hope it will be—and why?
Fear will always be with you. Expected, prepare for it, and never feed it!
What led you to write Serve Others Live Without Fear?
I was inspired by the amazing courage and resilience I saw in my clients and others.
What was a challenge when writing the book?
My research pointed up so many examples that I had to choose which to include in the book. Our public safety and military professionals are truly amazing!
Why is it important for first responders - and the public - to be aware of some of the mental impacts of the job?
There is no way to serve without experiencing a severe burden on your mental health. First responders are aware, increasingly so of this fact. However, the public can be lured into believing that the people who show up to save their lives are immune from the impact of the devastation and suffering they see.
Why is it that the public never think about the mental health aspects of the job?
I believe this is the impact of television and movies as well as anti-cop rhetoric. It is much easier to portray law enforcement officers as unfeeling or heartless than to recognize they are true human beings tasked with incredible burdens from society.
How do first responders deal with some of the challenging things they see?
We teach first responders to talk to peer counselors or professionals and also to exercise on a regular basis. The positive benefits of exercise cannot be overstated.
What are some ways that people can support the mental health of first responders that they know?
Simply say hello. You never know what a :-) can do to change the course of an otherwise horrible day.
How do you see serving others impacting a person’s life?
It is my hope that people will identify with some of the stories that I've told, some of the examples I've given, and recognize that if they feel fear, they are normal. I hope they would understand that as a human being, they can manage their fear, live full lives, and serve others in the process.
I have always been inspired by the courage shown by our clients under extreme circumstances as they put their lives on the line for strangers. Given all of the criticisms of law enforcement officers in the past decade, this was a story that needed to be told now.
The title brings together two big ideas—serving others and living without fear. How are those two ideas connected?
Putting your personal comfort and safety aside are necessary steps to putting others first. That requires a certain amount of courage and applying that message of living your life without fear is the only way to ensure success in your efforts.
You describe fear as something that can be turned into motivation. How can someone recognize when fear is motivating them versus controlling them? You’ve worked in law enforcement and represented public-safety professionals facing extremely high-stakes situations. What have those experiences taught you about courage that most people may not understand?
Fear takes many forms and often creeps into our decision making incrementally when we least expect it. However, some circumstances will involve fear as a natural human reaction. It is essential to prepare for those moments to avoid allowing fear to control you.
Is living without fear actually possible, or is the goal really to learn how to act despite being afraid?
You will always be afraid. Human beings have fear embedded into their DNA and their biological structures. The goal is to avoid letting fear control your decisions.
Your book emphasizes that courage isn’t limited to police officers, firefighters, soldiers, or people facing physical danger. What does everyday courage look like to you? \ You introduce the idea of T.I.T.O.—“This Is The Opportunity.” What does that mean, and how can someone use that mindset when facing a difficult situation? What is one story in the book that you think best captures the message you want readers to remember?
Recognizing that every moment in your life is an opportunity is the best way to move through struggles and prepare for them in advance. The foreword describes one man's journey from a soldier to police officer to special forces soldier to retirement and then to nursing as an example of how each opportunity can only be maximized by facing your fears and moving forward.
Can serving other people actually help us deal with our own fear, anxiety, or uncertainty? If so, why?
Absolutely. When we put ourselves second and put others first, not only do we put our own struggles into perspective, time and again we realize that through service we manage our own insecurities.
How do you distinguish genuine fear—which can warn us about danger—from the kind of fear that unnecessarily holds us back?
Often, they are the same. Biologically and chemically they are absolutely the same. The fear of an exam that raises your blood pressure and heart rate is the exact same fear that a law enforcement officer feels going into a building after an armed subject. That is the point of the book: recognizing that every part of your body may be telling you not to move forward but your heart and your brain can override that fear.
You’ve seen people make decisions under tremendous pressure. What separates people who move forward despite fear from those who become paralyzed by it?
Often, very little. It may be faith, training, dogged persistence, or just a desire to achieve a goal. The soldiers and law enforcement officers and firefighters who commit incredible acts of bravery are no different than anyone else.
How have your own ideas about fear changed from your early days in law enforcement to where you are today?
Yes. I learned that a certain amount of fear is normal and to be expected in just about every challenge and human interaction.
Was there a particular experience in your own life when you realized that fear was keeping you from doing something important?
No. I really learned early in my life to manage that fear although I have become much more proficient in doing so with age and experience.
What role does preparation play in courage? Can people actually train themselves to respond better when fear hits?
Absolutely estimation point this is the basis of public safety training and even self-defense training. First-aid and CPR classes are taught to average individuals who may not have any idea what to do in a crisis but who will respond predictably and admirably following their training.
For someone who finishes the book and says, “I want to live this way,” what is one thing you would challenge that person to start doing tomorrow If readers remember only one sentence, principle, or lesson from Serve Others. Live Without Fear, what do you hope it will be—and why?
Fear will always be with you. Expected, prepare for it, and never feed it!
What led you to write Serve Others Live Without Fear?
I was inspired by the amazing courage and resilience I saw in my clients and others.
What was a challenge when writing the book?
My research pointed up so many examples that I had to choose which to include in the book. Our public safety and military professionals are truly amazing!
Why is it important for first responders - and the public - to be aware of some of the mental impacts of the job?
There is no way to serve without experiencing a severe burden on your mental health. First responders are aware, increasingly so of this fact. However, the public can be lured into believing that the people who show up to save their lives are immune from the impact of the devastation and suffering they see.
Why is it that the public never think about the mental health aspects of the job?
I believe this is the impact of television and movies as well as anti-cop rhetoric. It is much easier to portray law enforcement officers as unfeeling or heartless than to recognize they are true human beings tasked with incredible burdens from society.
How do first responders deal with some of the challenging things they see?
We teach first responders to talk to peer counselors or professionals and also to exercise on a regular basis. The positive benefits of exercise cannot be overstated.
What are some ways that people can support the mental health of first responders that they know?
Simply say hello. You never know what a :-) can do to change the course of an otherwise horrible day.
How do you see serving others impacting a person’s life?
It is my hope that people will identify with some of the stories that I've told, some of the examples I've given, and recognize that if they feel fear, they are normal. I hope they would understand that as a human being, they can manage their fear, live full lives, and serve others in the process.
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