Parenting Pointers: Moving with Kids

I had an opportunity to do an e-interview with Rent.com president Peggy Abkemeier.

What are some ways to involve kids in the moving process, so that they feel less helpless?



Communication is always important. Explain the move to them as soon as possible so that they have time to adjust to the idea of living in a new home. Provide your kids with as much information as possible about the upcoming move, and answer their questions truthfully. Involve them in the moving preparations as much as possible. We would recommend explaining how their new home and city will be perfect for the whole family, telling them about their new school and showing them pictures and floor plans of the home in advance. If possible, bring them to visit the new neighborhood before the move so they can see it for themselves. The more they know in advance about where they are going and what it will really be like, the more in control they will feel when they arrive.

- How can parents help younger kids adjust to sleeping in a new bed, room, or house?

Before the move, set aside special time to sit with them and make a small box of their favorite things. Make sure to keep these in a special place during the move so they don’t get lost, and personally bring them with you when you travel to the new home. These little comforts can go a long way towards making kids feel safe and secure in a new bed, room or house and among their new surroundings. Additionally, let them make the decorating choices for their own rooms to make a space where they truly feel comfortable. Allowing them to choose their paint color, curtains, bedding and décor will get them more excited about the move and spending time in their new rooms. Even this small level of control will help them feel more relaxed and give them a safe haven from the stress of a new home.

- How can parents help kids both establish new friendships and keep in touch with old friends?

If you’re relocating far from your previous home, throw a goodbye party for your children to see all their friends before they move. Hand out “We’re Moving” cards with your new address and make sure to get everyone’s contact information in an organized way before you leave the party. This will make it easier to help your kids write letters and e-mails to their best friends after the move so that they’re able to keep in touch. Receiving correspondence in return from old friends will surely lift their spirits if they’ve been upset by the move.

If your kids are nervous about meeting new friends, make it a priority to research activities of interest to them in your new community, such as sports teams, art classes, or other after-school activities. Getting your kids involved with the things they already love to do will put them at ease and help them to make friends more quickly. If you live in a building or on a street with other kids their age, make an effort to introduce yourselves to those families and arrange a playdate or family get-together. You never know – you may end up making some new friends in the process as well!

- What are some things parents should try to avoid doing when moving with kids?

Although 10% of our survey respondents admitted that they have or would tell their kids about the move over email or text message, we recommend a more personal approach. Breaking the news over a family meal or during meeting will allow your kids the time to ask questions and share their feelings about the move. Regardless of how close the new home might be to the old home, moving is always a big step in a child’s life and should not be taken lightly.

More results of the survey:
- 69% of families have moved to a new home at least once during their children’s lifetime and 18% of families have moved three or more times!
- 54% of parents worry about their children’s apprehensions surrounding the move
- Additional concerns include timing (31%), moving day logistics (27%) and motivation (22%)
- More than half of American children (54%) worry most about making new friends at school or in their neighborhood, 18% wonder if they’ll truly feel at home in the new place and 14% feel anxious about getting acclimated to the new neighborhood
- When choosing a new family home, 61% of parents cited a safe neighborhood as being the most important factor
- A quarter of parents (24%) believe that a living space large enough for the entire family to live in comfortably is equally important
- One third of children (34%) want their own bedrooms, 27% wish for a neighborhood with other kids their own age and 25% pine for a big backyard



If you'd like more information, feel free to download the PDF with more tips.