The following is a guest post by Jeff Canon, author of The Simple Truth: Meditation and Mindfulness for the Modern World.
Long before there is action, there are thoughts. Thoughts that have a way to spreading and expanding and entangling in your mind much like a vine does when left alone. By the time you act on them, they’ve already covered the walls of your psyche so there’s little room to veer from your course.
So why wait for your thoughts to take root and grow where they want? Why not create a trellis for them to grow on? Why not prune them back so that they grow where you want them to instead of allowing them to grow where they wish? Even better, why not make sure the right thoughts are planted at the outset?
Yes, this is about love, but it is also about being a gardener. Because it is not enough to just find the right person, all healthy and lasting relationships start with you. It starts with planting the right thoughts in your own mind and then tending to those thoughts so that they grow into something beautiful and lasting. Those thoughts are like seeds, and when they are seeds of love, when well tended, they can grow into something beautiful.
So be careful of your thoughts. Train yourself to stay open to loving ideas of equanimity and acceptance. You have to override your old habits and your old programming. You have to get rid of the old fears and biases that continue to hold you back, so that YOU can say yes without hesitation.
This is more difficult than you might think. The doubts you have, the sarcastic comments you make to yourself, may feel safe and protecting, but they hold you back from opening up. Those are the security blankets you create for yourself. Breaking those old habits is exactly what it takes in order for you to say yes.
If you need an example of this, simply look back to the last time somebody broke your heart. The first thing you say to yourself is “I will love never love again.” At that moment, what do you feel? You feel as if your world has collapsed around you.
What happens when that same person comes back to you and says “I am sorry”? Your world opens up and the sun seems to shine brighter doesn’t it? It is not just because that other person has opened up to you. It is because you have opened up to them. It is because you have opened yourself up to the energy they are sending you and to the energy that is all around you. You are completing a circuit. Just like a switch on the wall opens up the current to a light bulb, you can open up your own current by flipping your own switch to the on position.
It doesn’t just happen because of someone else, it happens because you have let the seeds of love within you sprout, grow and blossom.
So the next time you start to feel negative thoughts come into your mind, remember they are the seeds for what will grow. Do not allow negativity to sprout, instead plant new seeds of love, welcoming and acceptance.
If you are experiencing a breakup, don’t dwell on the loss. Instead, work to find the opportunities you can create from your newfound freedom. Perhaps you can use your time to explore art, music, food or travel. And by doing so, you can open yourself up to meeting new people who will support your passions. If it is a bad business idea, take a moment to follow it
and see what can develop from it. You will be amazed by how many good ideas will spring from a bad one.