Growing
up with an absent father himself, Slayton set out on a research
expedition across five continents to examine fatherhood. Based on his
research and personal life experience, he wrote Be a Better Dad Today, published by Regal books.
I had a chance to interview the book's author.
1) You have quite a notable professional career history. How have these experiences impacted your ability to be a father?
Comparing
my family’s welfare vs. my career success; I, like many others,
sometimes feel that we cannot succeed in one without failing in the
other. But I have learned that is not true. Finding a successful balance
between work and home isn’t easy, but it is possible. In fact, it is
essential if you want to be the best father and the best man you can be.
What good is success in business if we get so wrapped up in it – trying
to provide materialistic things to our families - that our own children
go looking elsewhere for acceptance and guidance … often in all the
wrong places. Issues like this are why I wrote Be A Better Dad Today!
2) What was the most surprising discovery you made while researching the book?
The
most surprising discovery I made was how American fatherhood has become
deeply polarized. There are more fathers now, than ever before in
history, who are deeply involved with their kids. Some are stay-at-home
dads, diaper changers, and all those things that demonstrate deep
devotion. On the other hand we have more fathers than ever who are
completely absent from their children. For the first time in American
history we have a large and growing percent of fathers who are deeply
absent or who are what I call, failing fathers, who have no measurable
impact on their children whatsoever. This is a surprising contrast.
3) What are the impacts of not having a strong father (or father figure) in a child's life?
Respect for Fatherhood and the percentage of men who are actively
involved Dads has declined steadily in the US over the past 50 years. As
a direct result of that, America is quickly becoming a two tier
society, with almost 1/2 of our children consigned to virtual 3rd world
status in terms of mental, emotional and physical health, academic
attainment, income potential, and overall life satisfaction. The fact is
that children who grow up without their dads are two to three times
more likely to spend time in prison, become addicted to drugs, fail out
of highschool, have children themselves out of wedlock, suffer from
mental illness, or die an early and violent death. These are tragic
impacts of absent fathering.
4) If men feel they already are doing a good job as dads, why should they read this book?
I
myself need to work on my own “Ten Tools of Fatherhood.” There are a
few with which I am particularly weak – but fortunately there are at
least a couple I feel more and more comfortable with. But since the
Fatherhood Journey is never over as long as we are here on earth, there
will always be opportunities to improve my skill levels with each of the
‘Ten Tools.’ It’s my hope and prayer that “Be a Better Dad Today” will
help Dad’s everywhere to sharpen their own fatherhood tool set as a
blessing not only to their wife and children, but for themselves as
well.
5) Could women benefit from reading this book as well?
The
presence of a good mother is also critically important in the life of
every child. The 10 tools outlined in the book can be useful to anyone
in the role of parenting. I think that both men and women can apply
these tools and I would even encourage Mothers and Fathers to read the
book together and discuss what implementation would look like for their
own personal family situation.
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