Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Be a Better Dad Today

The Honorable Gregory Winston Slayton is an American father, professor, diplomat, author, businessman, and philanthropist. He has served as US Chief of Mission to Bermuda, appointed by President George W. Bush and extended by President Obama.  He currently manages Slayton Capitol and is a visiting professor at Harvard, Dartmouth and Stanford. He resides in New Hampshire with his wife of 23 years and their four children.  

Growing up with an absent father himself, Slayton set out on a research expedition across five continents to examine fatherhood. Based on his research and personal life experience, he wrote Be a Better Dad Today, published by Regal books.


I had a chance to interview the book's author.

1) You have quite a notable professional career history. How have these experiences impacted your ability to be a father?
Comparing my family’s welfare vs. my career success; I, like many others, sometimes feel that we cannot succeed in one without failing in the other. But I have learned that is not true. Finding a successful balance between work and home isn’t easy, but it is possible. In fact, it is essential if you want to be the best father and the best man you can be. What good is success in business if we get so wrapped up in it – trying to provide materialistic things to our families - that our own children go looking elsewhere for acceptance and guidance … often in all the wrong places. Issues like this are why I wrote Be A Better Dad Today!
 
2) What was the most surprising discovery you made while researching the book?
The most surprising discovery I made was how American fatherhood has become deeply polarized. There are more fathers now, than ever before in history, who are deeply involved with their kids. Some are stay-at-home dads, diaper changers, and all those things that demonstrate deep devotion. On the other hand we have more fathers than ever who are completely absent from their children. For  the first time in American history we have a large and growing percent of fathers who are deeply absent or who are what I call, failing fathers, who have no measurable impact on their children whatsoever. This is a surprising contrast.
 
3) What are the impacts of not having a strong father (or father figure) in a child's life?
Respect for Fatherhood and the percentage of men who are actively involved Dads has declined steadily in the US over the past 50 years. As a direct result of that, America is quickly becoming a two tier society, with almost 1/2 of our children consigned to virtual 3rd world status in terms of mental, emotional and physical health, academic attainment, income potential, and overall life satisfaction. The fact is that children who grow up without their dads are two to three times more likely to spend time in prison, become addicted to drugs, fail out of highschool, have children themselves out of wedlock, suffer from mental illness, or die an early and violent death. These are tragic impacts of absent fathering.
 
4) If men feel they already are doing a good job as dads, why should they read this book?
I myself need to work on my own “Ten Tools of Fatherhood.” There are a few with which I am particularly weak – but fortunately there are at least a couple I feel more and more comfortable with. But since the Fatherhood Journey is never over as long as we are here on earth, there will always be opportunities to improve my skill levels with each of the ‘Ten Tools.’ It’s my hope and prayer that “Be a Better Dad Today” will help Dad’s everywhere to sharpen their own fatherhood tool set as a blessing not only to their wife and children, but for themselves as well.
 
5) Could women benefit from reading this book as well?
The presence of a good mother is also critically important in the life of every child. The 10 tools outlined in the book can be useful to anyone in the role of parenting. I think that both men and women can apply these tools and I would even encourage Mothers and Fathers to read the book together and discuss what implementation would look like for their own personal family situation.
 
 

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