Consumer Critique: It's Okay Not to Share

I recently had a chance to review It's OK Not to Share and Other Renegade Rules for Raising Competent and Compassionate Kids available August 2. This was an intriguing book - just based on the title right away. The premise is that "automatic" rules don't really help children learn the reasons for the rules, and forcing things like "I'm sorry" don't truly foster empathy. While some of the rules might be a little jarring, such as the fact that physical wrestling is fine if both parties are ok with it, and playing with guns and bad guys is also ok, the author, Heather Shumaker, backs up her rules with logic gleaned from child psychologists, educators, and pediaricians - so she's not just making it up without any evidence!

I like the way the book is laid out. Each rule has an intro, a "renegade reason," a reminder to "take off your adult lenses," the rationale behind the rule, concrete tips to try, and specific words to say and avoid to help foster the rule. The rules are divided into sections based on play, emotions, sharing, physical activity, words, sensitive subjects (sex and death), and praise and persistence. The book closes with tips for implementing this in the real world, even if other parents don't understand or appreciate the way you're parenting.

Even if you don't agree with all of the rules, the book is still worth the read. It's always a good idea to expose yourself to other parenting styles, just because it helps you re-evaluate the way that you parent and make sure it fits your family the best.

Disclosure: I received a complimentary copy of the book to facilitate this review.