Mom Moments: Fun Without Dick and Jane

Recently I was a guest on the “Today” Show, one of three writer/moms invited to share our thoughts about “Surviving the Empty Nest.” Both women spoke similarly about the “loss” and “mourning” that goes along with children leaving home. They warned us to brace ourselves for the inevitable crying jags as we pass our child’s empty bedroom. For that hollow feeling as we realize the last bird has flown. 

I restrained myself from breaking out my tiny violin, but I did attempt to inject a little humor. Because I don’t think that this has to be a time of pain and anguish and loss. We have done a bang-up job raising our kids. That’s why they are leaving! We did our job, now they are doing theirs. It’s a good thing, for them and for us.

Not to downplay your possible feelings of sadness as your child gets ready to leave the nest. But think of the possible fun, too, the fun to be had in this next chapter of your life. You’ll have time that’s your own, time to see friends, time to go back to school yourself (preferably not the same college your child is attending). Time to rediscover your partner. Time to lose the mom jeans, to plan a trip that isn’t centered around children. Time to dance naked in the living room, time to finally pick up that paintbrush, or write that novel. Remember when your time was yours? It’s time to rediscover who you are, and what it is you can’t wait to do. 

Christie Mellor is the author of Fun without Dick and Jane: A Guide to Your Delightfully Empty Nest.