Preparing your Kids for a Competitive Academic and
Professional World
If there’s one thing that parents spend more time doing than
anything else, it’s worrying about their children’s futures. We worry if
they’ll excel in school, if they’ll get into that competitive university, if
they’ll find a personally and financially rewarding career. Worry is just a
reality that all parents have to live with. It’s completely normal. Things
become more problematic however, when our actions as parents are guided solely
by worry and anxiety. There’s no doubting the fact that the world today is much
more fast-paced and competitive. But how do we guide our children, without
everyone losing their sanity? Here are some things to consider as you help your
child prepare for any sort of competitive environment, whether it’s school or
career-related:
1. The most competitive people are motivated
from within. Emphasize excellence over recognition.
Motivation that comes from the
outside from overpraise and recognition, is, by its very nature, fleeting. A
child who is always told that she’s smart or wonderful, or a child who gets
excellent grades without trying very hard is a child who will suffer in the
future. As parents, it is our responsibility to teach our children the inherent
joy from a job well done, regardless of whether there are any extrinsic awards.
2. Don’t ever do your child’s homework. Guide
them through it if absolutely necessary.
While very few parents will
admit it, you’d be surprised by how many actually complete all or portions of
their children’s homework assignments, research papers, college application
essays and more. Personal responsibility is one thing that children must learn
in order to survive in a competitive world. Parents often take on the task of
doing what are their children’s responsibilities because they are afraid that
their child cannot do it themselves. After overpraising, this is the number one
way to kill your child’s motivation. Even if you can do it better than they
can, let them do it on their own. Guidance and help, of course, is one thing,
but don’t convince yourself that you are merely “helping” your child when you
write a paragraph of their research paper for them.
3. Understand that mental and physical balance
is the basis of all success.
Popular parenting techniques
always seem to aim for extremes. There’s the “Tiger Mom” approach, which
insists on extreme discipline and criticism, while there’s the other end of the
spectrum, in which allowing your children to “become who they want to be,”
turns into a counterintuitive permissiveness. No matter what your beliefs are,
we parents should always strive for balance. Our greatest priority should be
not necessarily the “happiness” of our children—because growth can occur in
moments of unhappiness—but balance. A child who spends hours studying for a
test without running around outside to play will be a child given to extremes
in adulthood. And if there is one thing that hurts your child’s chances of
success in the future, it’s not maintaining a balanced body and mind.
4. Allow your children to successfully fail.
Failure is not a bad thing, and
parents should learn to let go of the worries they have over failure. Of
course, parents should intervene if their children are making the same mistake
over and over again. But failure develops character, and failure never hurt
anybody more than just temporarily.
To survive in the competitive landscape that is this 21st
century world, children must develop thick skin at a young age. But they also
must develop compassion, a sense of wonder, and an ability to relax and
disconnect, if they are to be happy and fulfilled in a relentlessly
hyper-competitive culture.
A freelance blogger and writer for over ten years, Aniya
Wells now regularly contributes to the Onlinedegreeprograms blog.
She is passionate about giving potential students advice as they embark on an
online or traditional degree program. Aniya is very excited about the latest
advances in technology that have made a comprehensive education more accessible
to all! Please direct questions or comments to aniyawells@gmail.com
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