Thursday, April 4, 2013

Consumer Critique: Dear Daughter

I had a chance to read the book Dear Daughter: What I Wish I'd Known at Your Age (there's also a Dear Son...). The book was fun to read. You can get a taste of the book by reading one chapter, what I wish I'd known about men, for free. Even though I'm a little older than the target demographic, I still found it helpful to read - I picked up a few new pieces of helpful advice, and a lot of confirmations and reminders of things I've picked up by now, but probably didn't know when I was a younger adult or older teen.

I had a chance to interview the author, Roy Sheppard, about the book.

1)   What inspired you to write the book?

At my age (55) a lot of my friends have 15-25 year olds. The majority of those parents admit they are not close or communicate well with them. I have written and lectured about relationships for 15 years. Many young people don’t actually have a good relationship with themselves. This was an aspect of their lives that hadn’t really been covered. Young people are usually written ABOUT. Not written TO....Everyone seems to give young people a really hard time these days. I thought, if I could write a book for all young people, instead of about them, they might find it incredibly helpful. It would also be great for parents, to give as a gift. 

My challenge (and it was a huge challenge) was to write something that was incredibly relevant to a wide range of ages, and not be seen as too basic, or open to being dismissed as patronizing. That was really hard. 

2) Were you worried about not being taken seriously, writing a book for women?

‘Worried’ is much too strong a word.  I was, however aware that being a guy, was a possible obstacle to women who don’t know me. I have always adored women and probably have more female friends than male ones. I have lost count of the number of young women (and a lot of older women) who come to me for advice about all kinds of ‘stuff’. I am unlike most guys (according to women) because I am a good listener. I wait. I don’t tend to jump in and tell people what to do. I knew I’d have a potential credibility problem with Dear Daughter – so I cheated!!!

I used all the non-gender specific content from Dear Son and then I interviewed LOADS of women.

3)   How different are the books targeted towards daughters and sons?

The interviews are the main difference between the books. Dear Daughter is 15% longer than Dear Son. Obviously, girls and women are FAR more complicated than men! 

But what works well are the two tones of voice in Dear Daughter. One young female reviewer commented on how ‘balanced’ it was with comments from women and from me. That was so lovely to read because a huge amount of effort went into trying to achieve that. 

For Dear Daughter I was advised to interview ‘celebrities’. I’m so glad I didn’t do that. I wanted ‘real’ women. Women who were ‘celebrities’ among their own family and friends. I ended up talking to a lot of my female friends and a lot of volunteers who were referred to me. A few women even contacted me because they’d heard I was doing research.

They were all amazing. I became an ‘honorary girlie’. We had incredibly intimate conversations. It was so fascinating. I also interviewed some young girls of 15-17 (with their parents permission of course) who described in a lot of detail what it is like to be that age. All confidentially. The deal was; I didn’t report anything they said back to their parents. This input has given the book so much richness.

4)   Were there any pieces of advice that surprised you, or that you think will surprise others?

I’m not sure I’d say ‘surprised’ me. I was enlightened a lot instead! 

But to answer your question; I think a lot of women will be surprised that it deals with all aspects of life in a down-to-earth, thought-provoking and inspiring way. The reader can make up her own mind about how she wants her life to be. But armed with balanced, practical advice from me and all the women contributors who aren’t trying to control her, she’ll hopefully discover that she’s got what it takes to have a fabulous future life as a woman. 

Disclosure: I received complimentary products to facilitate this post. All opinions are my own.

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