Parenting Pointers: Manners in a Digital World

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Sometimes technology changes faster than society is ready for - and there aren't always a lot of rules to navigate the changing world.  Emily Post's Manners in a Digital World: Living Well Online is a great guide from a respectable source - the Emily Post Institute - that serves as a comprehensive resource for how to handle all sorts of digital technology, from general netiquette to individual platforms (Twitter, Facebook, gaming, and more). Rather than implying that people should shun technology altogether, the book looks at responsible use of technology as ways to enhance relationships, not hurt them. There are great tips for parents on establishing boundaries for kids, as well.

To get a feel for the book (and what etiquette is) I'm able to share an excerpt from the book, as well as a video:

Digital House Rules
Here are three strategies for staying on top of the technology in your home.

1. Aim for a healthy digital diet
Just as you wouldn’t let your kids eat a diet too high in sugar, make sure your family has a balanced digital diet as well. Balance time spent online and textting with face-to-face conversations; videogames with physical sports or family board games; social-network interactions with real get-togethers with friends. It is so important that children learn how to relate to one another and interact in person. Sitting side by side while texting back and forth doesn’t count.

2. Establish digital time-outs
Institute a “no device at the dinner table” rule. This is the time for your family to be together, to reconnect face-to-face without distraction or interruption. Other digital no-go zones might be homework time or the bedroom. Each has pros and cons. Middle-of-the-night texts can keep your kids from getting the sleep they need—and some kids won’t be able to resist the call of the Pocket Gods in the wee hours. Many kids utilize mobile devices as alarm clocks. If your teen is adamant on keeping his favorite alarm clock, make sure that the LED screen isn’t somewhere it can affect his ability to fall asleep, a proven disruption to natural sleep cycles in both teens and adults. However you decide to establish your family’s digital time-outs, work together to set reasonable limits and practice observing them—parents, too.

3. Keep devices in a public place, not bedrooms
You don’t have to hang over your kids’ shoulders when they are using the computer, but you do want to be able to glance at what they’re watching once in a while. Keep family computers in central locations, and have kids use mobile devices such as laptops and smartphones in family areas. That way you can ask your daughter to show you what she’s looking at when she laughs out loud. It’s probably a funny video, but if it’s an offensively funny video, you can have a conversation about why it’s not something she should be watching. It’s a good idea to check once in a while to see if your teen is regularly clearing his search or download history. That may be a red flag that he is looking at something online that he shouldn’t be. Pay attention to other places your child may have online access—school, the public library, friends’ houses. Explain that using someone else’s computer without asking or without adult supervision is a violation of your trust and that you expect him to abide by your rules wherever he may be.



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