Caring Causes: Suicide Awareness/Prevention

Minorities in schools have seen a spike in suicide for a host of reasons. Most often the language barrier is an overwhelming obstacle. Communication is difficult and their peers are often unkind and taunt them for not understanding, to the degree unfortunately that they feel rejected, worthless and shut out. Often too there is a caste issue that comes into play when certain students from one country express their dominance because they deem themselves superior to those students from other countries. And the socio-economic issues can also come into play to the extent that kids from impoverished backgrounds can be made to feel hopeless and worthless because they are looked at with hatred and disdain.

The epidemic at the East Hampton High school is a living example of the language barrier issue coupled with the socio-economic aspect that can so seriously impact the self esteem of these children who cannot find a place for themselves and feel like they are desperately alone. Fighting the pressures of feeling outcast by cruelty on the part of those kids who are among the established proves so often too daunting and causes an inward emotional collapse.

Teenage suicide is on the rise again for many reasons. Feelings of desperation fomented by the torturous tauntings of others, perceptions of issues deemed impossible to surmount, immeasurable feelings of worthlessness, and inner emotional turmoil that has no where to go to vent. Kids today often feel ashamed of their feelings and are fearful of admitting them for surmising that they will be chastised or punished if they expose their inner demons. What they fail to recognize is that there are places they can go for professional help without judgment.

So many issues can an do negatively impact children, teens and young adults. Aside from the reprehensible acts of bullying, which are no longer confined to the school environs as social media have created a 24 hour, seven day platform, there are gender issues, drugs, both prescription and non-prescription and disruptive family environments. Too often kids have to fend for themselves because they are part of a single parent family, or worse a non parent family. There are those who live in shelters, foster homes and on the streets; homeless. Seemingly impossible odds to overcome that can create an atmosphere of desolation from which there seems no escape.

In today's world, economic pressures abound and cause many to feel like there is no way out. No way to pay rent when they become unemployed, unable to support themselves, feed themselves or have any semblance of a life. Many are also burdened with student loans, and credit card debt accrued over time as a means of survival but no longer capable of fending off the creditors who will destroy any chance of a near term financial stability or hope of recovery.

The risk factors for suicide can be both obvious and invisible. When someone threatens to kill themselves, that threat must be taken seriously. The giving away of one's possessions is a pretty good indication that someone is intending to say goodbye. Writings of desperation and despair are more than a subtle cry for help. When a person loses interest in things they've been very passionate about after enjoying them forever, there should be cause for concern. Dropping out of society, becoming a loner, not caring about appearance and generally becoming reclusive, abandoning friends and family are all indications that something is awry, and absolutely should not be viewed lightly or worse, ignored, thinking it is not of concern.

Too often we are afraid to intervene when we see a person in emotional pain. It seems like it isn't our place to interfere and sometimes it is not. But there are more instances when it is appropriate to step in and offer assistance, like stopping an instance of bullying. Calling 911 when you suspect someone is going to end their life is warranted. Having a friendly conversation with a person on that edge of desperation may well save their life. Sometimes all it takes is someone to listen and if you can get their attention for ten minutes and show them compassion you might well change their mind and intention so that they will choose to live. There are so many organizations today who are there to help without any judgment, just getting a distraught person to call them to talk will more often than not save their life. They need to know that they are not alone, that there is help for them and that they are loved.

The act of suicide leaves a permanent scar on the surviving family and friends. The pain for the person who has left is over but is just beginning for those left behind to mourn them. It becomes a badge we wear on our psyche; one that never goes away. It is a wound that heals to a degree but never completely as the slightest urging by the news of another who has ended their life rips open the scab that only veils the unrelenting pain lurking within us. This loss is one which we will carry forever as it emblematic of who we are now but brings with it the realization that we do survive and that we must go on with our lives. Life is a gift. Every day we get up is a blessing and it is our obligation to live it to the fullest. Yes, survivor's guilt can be an issue but we remember that those who havè departed would not want us to give up our lives but rather live on for ourselves and for them. And so we will and we do....

Post written by Carl David, author of "Bader Field; How My Family Survived Suicide" (Nightengale Press).