Parenting Pointers: Banishing the "Whatifs"

Disclosure: I received complimentary products to facilitate this post. All opinions are my own.

Michelle Nelson-Schmidt’s recently released children’s book, Jonathan James and the Whatif Monster, encourages young children to try something new by facing their fear of failure head-on, enabling them to fully experience life and follow their dreams. It includes some "whatifs" kids often face, along with the antidote - "whatif" something good happens? It's a book that's easy to understand and appropriate for kids of all ages. I had a chance to interview the author about her tips for helping banish the "whatif" monster.

1) What was the inspiration behind this book?

Well, a few things. We all have that little voice inside our head - the one that says all the bad 'what ifs'. I wanted to find a way to help kids (and myself) quiet that voice in our heads. Because when you quiet that voice, then you get to hear the tiny whispery voice that comes from our hearts. And that voice? Only tells us all the good 'what ifs." So I invented the Whatif Monster because he loves to worry, so we can tell him our bad worrisome what ifs and he will worry for us - it gets it out of our head.

Also, my husband is an extreme worrier. I worry far less than him. Once day I was painting and he was 'what if-ing' me to the point of craziness and I said, "You know, it's like there is this tiny green monster sitting on your shoulder whispering how everything can go wrong!" And then I saw the monster in my head and painted him that very night on a tiny canvas. I still have that painting from about 5-6 years ago!

2) How do you help your kids from falling victim to the "whatif" monster?

I tell them to make friends with the monster. I invented him, so I know he really loves to worry. Give him your worries. I tell them to imagine up the biggest Whatif Monster they might need - some of us have HUGE worries! I also tell them I know it is make believe and in their imagination, but it is a little trick and somehow  it really works!

3) How did you keep yourself from worrying about the "whatifs" in your own life?

Well, ironically, even though I wrote the book, I am not much of a worrier. I have made so many mistakes and 'failed' so many times that I have come to realize it is all about your attitude and just trying. Nothing is that scary once you actually try and begin. But, every once in a while, I get a bit of the 'what if's' just like anyone else. And I just imagine the exact opposite happening - the most amazing, good 'what if' instead. I listen to that heart voice instead.

4) What other tips do you have for encouraging kids to be confident in the face of worries?

1. Remember that for every bad 'what if' there is an amazing, incredible good 'what if.'

2. Talk about your worries to someone, even your imaginary Whatif Monster. It gets it out of your head!

3. There is no such thing as failure - there is just trying and learning from what happens. The only way to fail, is to give up or not try at all.

4. Don't worry what other people think about your choices or what you want in life. Remember that most people are so worried about their own 'what ifs' that they probably don't have time to think about you at all!

5. Everything gets less scary once you begin. Everything. What we imagine is always scarier than reality. Try that new thing, what if you LOVE it??