These tips were inspired by Rufus and Ryan Go To Church! by Kathleen
Bostrom, illustrated by Rebecca Thornburgh
(CandyCane Press, an imprint of Ideals Publications). The book is a cute board book, ideal for toddlers and early preschoolers, to help explain church in a simple way at a kid's level. The book can be purchased through most major bookstores.
1. Attend a child-friendly church.
A
church that invites children to attend worship, that has a children’s time during
worship or a service in which children are included, will not mind the noise
and commotion that comes with having young children in worship.
2. Bring your child to
church on a day other than Sunday morning.
Call the church office and make an appointment with
a pastor, Christian education director, or church school teacher. Go on a tour
of the church facility, and locate the Sunday school rooms and bathrooms as
well as the sanctuary. Let your child explore the sanctuary, see how it feels
to sit in the pew, and leaf through the Bibles and hymnbooks. Look behind the
pulpit, Communion table, and baptismal font, and explain the use of these.
3. Take home a worship
bulletin and go through the service at home.
Show
your child that there are times to sit, to stand (and in some places, to kneel),
to sing, to pray, and to listen. If the Lord’s Prayer is used, write down the words
and let your child practice at home. Prepare offering envelopes and let your
child put money in the envelope, and explain why the offering is important.
4. Play “Let’s go to church” at home.
Practicing
the worship service at home will help your child feel more comfortable with
what happens in worship.
5. Read the Bible and pray
at home.
Purchase
an age-appropriate Bible for your child and read the stories. Let your child
handle the Bible and encourage questions. You can explain that the Bible is where
we learn God’s story, and how we are part of that story. If you let prayer be a
part of your everyday life, not just something you do at church, your child
will understand its importance.
6. Sit near an aisle or
in a place where you can make an exit if needed.
If
your child needs to go to the bathroom, or is feeling overly stimulated or having
a disruptive day, don’t be embarrassed. Walk your child out of the sanctuary
until she can work off a little energy, and then come back in. This is much
easier if you don’t have to crawl across a row of other people in the pew!
7. Be prepared with a worship notebook or bag.
Many
churches provide materials for children to use during worship, but if not,
bring your own supplies. Colored pencils can be used to mark the parts of
worship in the bulletin as you go through them one by one. Get to church a few
minutes in advance and use a bookmark to mark the hymns that will be sung that
day. Have some coloring pages from a Bible coloring book for your child to
color, or some blank pages for doodling. This is not disrespectful, and can
help your child listen more attentively. Have the words of the Lord’s Prayer
printed on a page for the child to follow, if he or she is of reading age. Let
your child draw a picture of the anthem or hymns being sung, or the sermon, and
give this to the choir director or pastor afterwards.
8. Teach basic church
etiquette.
Speak
to people before and after worship, and teach your child how to shake hands and
greet others. If your child is shy, don’t force it, but practice at home and
let your child see you greeting others. Let the child put the hymnbook and
Bible away after use, and be sure to take your bulletin with you, rather than
leaving it in the pew. Meeting other people and taking care of the church facility
helps a child feel that “This is my church!”
9. Get to know the
pastor.
Pastors of child-friendly churches love to get to
know the children of the church. Introduce your child to the pastor after
worship, and participate in other church activities so that the pastor becomes
a friend and not a scary adult.
10. Don’t give up!
It
may take awhile for your child to become comfortable in worship, and to learn
how to sit quietly. The best way for this to happen is to attend worship on a
regular basis. There may be days when it doesn’t go well, but don’t let this stop
you from coming the following week. Practice makes perfect!
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