Why Do Humans Think About Sex So Often?
In the summer of 1999 we took our young
children for an afternoon outing to the Caldwell Zoo in Tyler, Texas. As we entered an area called the “Texas
Petting Zoo,” Erin and Matthew were thrilled over the thought that they’d
actually be getting hands-on experience with the animals. Our first stop was the Longhorn cattle pen,
where several dozen parents and children waited their turn to pet the new baby
calf, which just happened to be tucked up underneath his mama’s udders for an
afternoon snack. My three-year old son
watched this scene in amazement, then boldly inquired of me in his loudest
outdoor voice, “Mama, did you
do that to me when you was a
cow?”
Every adult within
earshot giggled, and I had to join them. It was an honest question, so I gave an honest answer and replied,
“Matthew, I actually did feel like a cow when
I was doing that to you!” The giggling
turned to guffaws of laughter, and thus a precious memory was made that
afternoon.
Not only did Matthew
learn how baby calves and baby boys were fed by their mothers, he also learned
how many baby animals are made. It
seemed like every cage we encountered was filled with animals in heat. The giraffes were necking, the gazelles were
horny, the camels were humping. It was
like someone spiked the hay with some powerful aphrodisiac. And of course, there was always an inquiring
child in the crowd wanting to know, “What are those two animals doing?”
Although humans are
certainly on a much higher intellectual and spiritual plane than animals, our
basic physical instincts are really not very different. We have four main activities that we
naturally gravitate toward over and over—eating, drinking, sleeping, and
sexually connecting with our mates. It’s
simply how God wired us, and it’s a beautiful thing if you consider the
big-picture purposes He had in mind.
Why did God wire us
for hunger and thirst? So we wouldn’t
starve to death or get dehydrated and make ourselves sick. So our bodies could thrive and manufacture
the energy we need to function when we respond to these natural instincts with
healthy food and water.
Why did God wire us
for sleep? So our bodies and brains
could rest and get reenergized for another day of living for His glory So we could go about our days feeling
refreshed, at least until our batteries needed to be recharged once again.
Why did God wire us
for sex? Just to name a few reasons:
- to bring beautiful babies into the world,
- so our bodies and brains could experience intense physical pleasure,
- to release stress and tension,
- to medicate emotional pain,
- so our hearts and spirits would feel intimately connected and passionately bonded to another human being,
- so we would feel passionately loved, and have a powerful way of communicating to another that he or she is deeply loved as well.
Most of us can accept our hunger, our thirst, and our need for sleep as perfectly natural, but the fact that we’re sexual creatures can be hard to accept, at least not without a certain degree of guilt. But do we ever feel guilty for experiencing true hunger several times a day? Or genuine thirst? Do we ever feel sinful for growing sleepy every eighteen hours or so? Of course not. It’s how our bodies function, and, like those zoo animals, we don’t waste much time analyzing it at all. We just feed those needs in order to satisfy ourselves.
So why do we waste time and energy analyzing, justifying, fretting, or feeling guilty over our sexual needs and desires? Seems silly, doesn’t it?
I believe the reason we worry about our sexuality is because we have somehow bought the lie that sex is dirty, shameful, base, animalistic, and hedonistic rather than natural, instinctual, spiritual, sublime, and holy. As a result, some of us have lost our ability to accept, embrace, or celebrate that facet of our humanity. Instead, we may shudder with shock and embarrassment to seriously consider how often our brains entertain sexual thoughts. In fact, many of us wish we could just flip a switch and never think of sex at all. Some have actually mastered a variety of techniques that allow them to do just that—to ignore and neglect their natural, God-given sexuality altogether. While I’m certainly not trying to shame anyone, I think the fact that we’ve grown so adept at absolutely starving our natural sexual desires is, indeed, a crying shame.
But what if we learned to accept the fact that God has created us as sexual human beings, and a natural, healthy sex drive comes part and parcel with that blueprint? That sexual thoughts are as natural as a hunger pain? Or a dry mouth? Or sleepy eyes? What if we could grow as comfortable with and ecstatic over a delightful afternoon tryst in our marriage bed as we are with, say, a plate full of our favorite holiday foods, a cup hot cocoa or apple cider, and an afternoon nap to ease the calorie-induced coma? Yes, it is possible to enjoy sex as freely as we indulge in satisfying these other natural cravings!
We must grasp the fact that God placed these human desires in us for a reason—for many divine reasons, actually. If we had no internal compass pointing us toward food, couldn’t we starve to death? If we had no recurring thoughts of drinking liquids, we’d dehydrate within forty-eight hours! No natural gravitational pull toward a pillow means we’d become physically exhausted to the point of delirium within a few short days. Although individuals can live without sex for long periods of time, or even a lifetime if they so choose, let’s think in terms of the bigger picture. What if humans in general didn’t have any sort of sexual appetite at all? What would happen? Not only would we become painfully disconnected and isolated from one another, but the human race would eventually die off within a century or so! Heaven forbid!
God gave us natural, healthy appetites for everything that our minds, bodies, and souls need. These appetites guarantee our optimum survival. As such, these appetites are certainly a blessing, not a burden. So let’s embrace, cherish, and celebrate them fully!
PRAYER: Thank you, God, for healthy sexual appetites, and for godly ways to satisfy them! May husbands and wives both find great pleasure in one another, and may our marriage relationships bring you great glory as we learn to love each other fully and unreservedly!
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