I recently got to read a delightful book, We'll Always Have Paris. The author's fear of dying young without leaving her daughter the memory of an amazing experience inspires her to pack up and take off on a whirlwind tour of Europe. The memoir is fun to read, whether or not you've ever traveled abroad (although I could empathize with a lot of the travel experiences). I had the chance to interview Jennifer about traveling with kids and post an excerpt for you to learn more.
"Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. In twenty minutes, we will be landing at Charles de Gaulle Airport in Paris where the local time is now 7:10 a.m.,” a calm disembodied voice announced. Then the flight attendant repeated the information in French. At least I assumed she was repeating the information. For all I knew, she could have been saying, “On our flight this morning is a clueless American mother and her eight--year--old daughter who is counting on her to navigate their ten--day stay in the City of Lights. Good luck with that.”
As the plane continued to land, I felt a slow panic rising.Katie yawned. “Are you excited, Mommy?”
“Oh yes, Katie. I’m very, very excited,” I replied, imitating the voice of a yoga instructor. “And how are you?”
“Good,” she chirped.
I resisted the urge to say anything else, lest Katie know how absolutely, positively freaked out I was.
How can travel affect the
parent-child relationship?
Typically traveling together will improve the parent-child
relationship. Katie and I have always gotten along well, but after our trips we
have even more memories (and private jokes!). Katie put it well when she said
that we were “isolated together.” We had to rely on each other far more than we
did in our daily life. Also, Katie and I got to have long conversations with no
pressure to get out the door to soccer practice or start a night of homework.
I spoke with a mother who said that she and her daughter were
drifting apart, so they took a trip together to reconnect.
If a mother and child don’t get along at home, I can see a trip
together being a positive turning point in the relationship. Without planning
and forethought, though, it could also widen the gulf between them.
What family-friendly travel
suggestions helped you?
Most cities have a central park, which is often a hub of
family-friendly activities like bicycling, puppet shows and street performers.
Whenever Katie and I travel, we make a full day or two of exploring the park.
What are some differences you
noticed in other countries' parenting styles?
I can’t
say I really observed much about the European parenting style because we saw very
little “real life.” We were in tourist land. The main difference I saw between
European and U.S. culture was that commerce wasn’t central to their lives the
way it can be in the United States. Europeans seem to embrace enjoying life
whereas I think people in the U.S can be a little focused on earning a buck. I
remember in Barcelona, Katie and I were ready to buy a few pairs of shoes when
the shop owner said the store was closing for the afternoon. It was hot and she
needed her nap. I was ready to check out, my credit card was out and ready to
pay, but she refused. This was naptime and it was sacred. I loved that!
When
Katie and I went to Cadaques on the coast of northern Spain, a restaurant owner told me we’d ordered too much food, and
that he would bring me half. If we were still hungry, we could order more
later. I would have never have been “down-sold” in the United States, where
people are constantly trying to add-on items to our purchases. And what he said
really stuck with me. He said, (add thick Spanish accent) “We have all night.”
We did?! He wasn’t going to rush us through our meal, so he could turn the
table and make as much money as possible? I wish we could embrace this approach
more in the United States.
If parents can't afford a big vacation,
how can they still capture the benefits of traveling together?
Travel is
a great way to connect, but families can enjoy time together and create
memories at home. The key is removing the distractions like the cell phone,
video games and TV, and focusing on each other. Be a tourist in your own city
or town. If a relative were bringing her family to stay with you for the week,
where would you tell her to go? Then use that list to plan your next few
Saturdays.
One of my
favorite memories at home was when we had a citywide blackout a few summers
ago. It was on one of the hottest nights of the year and no one had
air-conditioning so everyone went outside, sat on beach chairs, and ate ice
cream and popsicles before they melted in our dead freezers.
Don’t
rule out a big trip, though. They can be done very affordably. Families can
rent out their own homes on Airbnb, then stay at hostels (or with friends or
family) overseas. Also, get a credit card that gives you miles on an airline.
If I buy a jar of peanut butter, I charge it. I’ve managed to get four tickets
to Europe for free by doing this. If you are willing to stay on a lean budget,
big trips do not have to break the bank. We are by no means rich, but we love
to travel so we cut corners in other areas of life.
If you want to read the book for yourself, leave a comment with your dream vacation destination with your kids. Deadline is April 25th.
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