Consumer Critique: Misadventures of a Parenting Yogi

Disclosure: I received complimentary products to facilitate this post. All opinions are my own.

There's something refreshing about reading other people's experiences of parenthood - especially when they're honest about the not-s-perfect moments. Misadventures of a Parenting Yogi is a book just like that, with the "sometimes successful" journey towards conscious parenting. Since that's something I strive for, I was able to empathize with a lot of the book - and I think most parents will be able to as well. I have a chance to post some Q&A from the author, Brian Leaf, so you can learn more.

The subtitle of your book is Cloth Diapers, Cosleeping, and My (Sometimes Successful) Quest for Conscious Parenting. What do you mean by Conscious Parenting?

Conscious Parenting is really no different from conscious anything else. It could be conscious Monopoly playing, conscious eating, conscious hiking, or conscious Texas Hold’em. It simply means being aware of whatever is happening – the challenges, the joys, the anxieties, as well as our reactions to all of this. When we are aware of something we are separate from it. So, instead of acting from frustration, elation, or fear, we act from our deeper selves. We see more clearly and are more free to behave as we choose.

You write a lot about listening to your parenting instincts, for example “Sure, it doesn’t hurt to Google the proper swaddling technique or to take a tip for the best brand of baby carrier, but for the big stuff, like how to nurture my children, I already know best.” Can you explain?

It’s about living and parenting from the heart. Over and over again, tuning into our feelings. We already know how to care for our kids. And let’s face it, if we don’t, if we have lost this instinctive ability that all animals have to care for their young, then bring on the glaciers and comets, because our epoch is done. The best way to cultivate and hone this intuition is by listening for and then following instincts as they arise. As Malcolm Gladwell teaches in his bestseller Blink, each time you follow an intuition, your intuition strengthens. I love seeing this as a skill that, with practice, I can hone.

With lack of sleep, constant demands on our energy, and incessant worry, parenting can be exhausting. What can parents do to manage stress and avoid anxiety or depression?

Parenting requires so much output. We’re always giving, so it’s vital that we find a way to recharge. Most of us, I think, recharge with chocolate or potato chips or wine, and this works to an extent, but I find the deepest recharge comes when I allow myself to receive. This can be getting a massage, going to a yoga class, or meditating. Personally, I like to visualize my grandma stroking my hair or my guru placing his hand on my heart. When I do this in the morning before getting out of bed, it actually makes a huge difference in my energy level for the rest of the day.

Why do discussions about parenting styles get so heated?

We all need to feel that we are making the best parenting decisions. Nothing matters more to us, so we defend our choices with venom. I think it’s time we agree to disagree about all of this, just like we do for religion. There may not be one right answer in the stroller verses wrap or cloth verses disposable debate. Maybe we just need to respect our differences and realize that the right way to parent comes down to our own personal assumptions. Down to our own particular parenting religion.

Has your background in yoga helped you be a better parent? How?

Yes, yoga and meditation allow me to tune into my feelings and my heart and to parent from that place. Parenting according to the rules of any particular approach, I think, would be very stressful. But parenting from my heart is much more organic and sustainable.

Do you think little kids should do yoga?

Little kids doing yoga is super cute; they pretend to be animals and crawl around the room and hold postures and have imaginary adventures. But, I think, little kids don’t really need yoga. We need yoga. Our kids just need to eat less sugar and frolic in the woods. I need yoga to control my fear that Noah will be eaten by a bear or that the sweaty guy on the elevator is going to grab him and run. Kids aren't afraid of any of that. I do yoga to become more like them.