It’s
the most wonderful time of the year. But sadly, not for
everyone. Whether it’s dealing with loss, getting over an addiction,
being new in town, helping children post-divorce or caring for a senior
citizen, Dr. Hafeez has suggestions to help make the holidays a bit easier to navigate.
For the newly divorced or widowed:
Loss
is a sad, life-changing event at any time of the year. However, it
tends to be harder when everyone around you is joyful and giddy with
holiday cheer. “Don’t be so hard on yourself by trying to minimize your
pain,” advises Dr. Hafeez. Allow yourself to grieve – it’s only
natural. She also suggests reaching out to family and friends and
joining a grief or support group. Surrounding yourself with loved ones
or others going through the same experience will help you feel less
lonely. To find a grief group in your area: http://www.griefshare.org/findagroup
Dr. Hafeez is
an advocate for volunteering. Helping those less fortunate can give
you a sense of love and pride, while immersing yourself in the true
spirit of the holidays, in the hopes of lifting your own. Lastly, Dr. Hafeez says
to “be good to yourself. Take a long bath, read a good book, get a
massage. Do something that you love to do and makes you feel
good. Neglecting yourself will only make you feel worse.”
For those who are new in town - A
Meetup Group is a local community of people. A Meetup Group hosts
Meetups, which are face to face meetings that happen in real life
between members and organizers. They can range from anything from “a new
in town” group to yoga groups, restaurant groups, you name it, there is
a “meet up” for every hobby. On the Find a Meetup Group page, you'll
be able to see the location, description, and topics of Meetup Groups.
You can also browse individual Meetups within all the groups in your
area. www.meetup.com
Seasonal Affect Disorder-
A light box mimics outdoor light. Researchers believe this type of
light causes a chemical change in the brain that lifts your mood and
eases other symptoms of SAD. Most people use light boxes for a minimum
of 30 minutes each morning.
You
can buy a light box over the counter, or your doctor may recommend a
specific light box. Light boxes, available from stores and Internet
retailers, come in different shapes and sizes and have varied features.
They also produce different types and intensities of light. Light boxes
are designed to be safe and effective, but they aren't approved or
regulated by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA), so it's important
to understand your options.
Depression? There’s
an App for that. More people commit suicide during the holidays than at
any other time of the year. Unfortunately for people who are under the
care of a psychologist, it is very likely their treatment will be
interrupted over the holidays due to vacationing doctors. Thankfully,
there are many excellent apps for Android and Smart Phones. Some top
apps are: Health Through Breath, Secret of Happiness, Depression CBT
Self Help Guide, NIH Depression Info, and Fitness Builder.
For the caretaker of a senior citizen:
Don’t
forget that elderly people tire easily and can be vulnerable to
over-stimulation. “Limit the number of activities for these people and
schedule time for a nap if you are traveling or take them home when they
become exhausted,” says Dr. Hafeez. Offer to cook for them at
your home or help to cook at theirs. While older people may no longer
be self-sufficient in the kitchen, there is no reason why they can’t
help. Dr. Hafeez says “including them in the meal preparation is
a great way for them to feel involved in the holidays, without putting
them in any danger.” And if you are gathering in a place that is
unfamiliar, make sure to remove slippery throw rugs and other items that
could present a problem to one who has balance problems or difficulty
walking.
For the parent dealing with post-divorce children:
Dr. Hafeez suggests
that, “one parent may just have to be the ‘bigger’ one and give in for
the sake of the kids,” when there is a dispute taking place. Whether
it’s over the holiday schedule or bedtime after a party, the kids feel
the stress. Also, Dr. Hafeez advises to try to collaborate with
your former spouse over presents, so there is no competition over who
gives the best gifts. “And never undermine the other parent. If he or
she says they aren’t allowed to have something, don’t buy it! Be an
adult,” says Dr. Hafeez.
For the recovering alcoholic:
Recovering
from addiction is hard. Period. But it’s harder when holiday
festivities are filled with friends and family drinking everything from
eggnog to champagne. “Be prepared for what you may face, before going to a party,” advises Dr. Hafeez. She
suggests an answer like “I’m choosing not to drink today,” or “I’ve
decided to be the designated driver,” should get people off your back.
Dr. Hafeez,
also offers this advice if you are traveling over the
holidays. “Traveling often takes you to places where drinking can be
encouraged, such as airports, planes and hotel bars.” Prepare yourself
ahead of time by reminding yourself over and over that these settings
may make you uncomfortable, but you don’t have a drink to make yourself
feel more comfortable. If you have to, make yourself a note in your
phone and read it to yourself if you’re starting to feel vulnerable.
While
this year may not be the happiest and easiest of holidays, remind
yourself that next year will be better. “Looking forward, not back, is
the best way to embrace the future on a positive note,” says Dr. Hafeez.
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