By Stephanie O’Leary, Psy.D., www.StephanieOLeary.com
1.
Listen. Pause and
listen to your child before springing into action or firing back a response.
This means zipping your lip, biting your tongue, and accepting that a little
parental silence can go a long way.
2.
Let your
child know you “get it.” Validate your child by repeating back a bit of what he or
she said, even if you disagree or know they’re completely off base! This will
open your child’s ears so your great suggestions are actually heard.
3.
Be
respectful. Talk to your child the same way you would to a friend or
to someone else’s child. Use this rule of thumb: If, in the future, it wouldn’t
be okay for your child’s significant other to say it, you shouldn’t say it
either.
4.
Set limits
and boundaries. Choose limits that you’re willing to keep based on the
situation at hand, not what happened yesterday or last year. This teaches your
child that limits and boundaries are flexible, necessary, and that he or she
can handle them.
5.
Take
responsibility. Own your successes and apologize for your mistakes. Give
yourself a do-over if you need it. Know that genuinely apologizing to your child
is one of the most powerful things you can do, and the best way to teach your
child to be accountable.
6.
Have fun! When things
get busy, it’s all too easy to get caught up in the routine and overlook the
fact that your kids are fun. Don’t be afraid to stop the daily grind to laugh
or get silly. Take time to notice the little things your child does or says
that bring you joy.
7.
Practice
self-care. Take great care of yourself so you can take great care of
your kids. Know that even the best parenting plan or strategy won’t work well
if you’re always exhausted or depleted. Make self-care a priority and do it
unapologetically—your kids are counting on you!
About the Author:
Stephanie O'Leary, Psy.D.
is a Clinical Psychologist specializing in Neuropsychology, mom of two, and
author of Parenting in the Real World.
She provides parents with a no-nonsense approach to navigating the daily grind
while preparing their child for the challenges they’ll face in the real world. www.stephanieoleary.com
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