Conflict is inevitable. At some point, relationships are going to fall apart. Even within a solid marriage, sometimes reparations are necessary to restore harmony and get back to the way the relationship was. Apologies can even help in non-romantic relationships that have been struggling. At times when just a quick "sorry" isn't enough, it takes imagination and creativity to break the ice and begin working to fix what was wrong. Here are some creative and unexpected ways to start apologies.
1) Tie it to her favorite interest. Find a gift card that ties in a hobby she enjoys, and include it with an apologetic card. Bonus if the card references the interest. For example, if she's a seamstress, a gift card to a fabric store and a card that says "I'm sew sorry" with a handwritten note will get a smile and create an opening.
2) Get physical. Exercise can really relieve frustrations, so consider apologies with an exercise class. Kickboxing can channel aggression, Zumba can renew an element of fun, yoga or Pilates can help relieve the stress of the conflict.
3) Serve a need. For many people, being pampered makes them feel good. For some, receiving acts of service can be the best way they feel loved. Use her friends to help you find something she really needs done, and then do it. You don't even need to say a word. Sometimes they might be suspicious that you're just trying to get back together, so make sure it's accompanied by sincere actions, and not just a "one and done" kind of thing.
4) Write. The written word can have more impact that the verbal. Write a song or poem - cheesy or serious - and focus on presentation as well, such as fancy paper or a frame. The extra effort will be appreciated and show more sincerity.
5) Be direct. This is often the most surprising, because apologies are often accompanied with excuses are justifications. Just saying, "I'm sorry. I was wrong and I hurt you. How can I make it up?" without any "but you..." or "I was just..." can go a long way. It shows that you are acknowledging their pain, not trying to minimize it, not trying to blame anyone else. That level of maturity is often missing in many relationships, and if you can be direct and honest, without trying to make excuses, it can have a big impact.
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