Book Nook: 15 Ways to Detect an Online Imposter (from The Five Star Man Dating Handbook)

The question everyone seems to be asking today is…Is online dating ok? The answer is…yes it is. However, you’ll have to be cautious and be sure you take time to do your research just as you would with traditional dating.

Imposters are popping up all over. This is a problem most common to dating sites and is becoming more and more of an issue primarily because there is no personal validation process required when signing up and no geographical boundaries. 

So, anyone could be behind the photo and the fingers of someone you’re communicating with.

During my research I've found that imposters are most often men. However, anyone could pose as someone else. 

Therefore, it is advised that everyone conduct his or her own personal investigations.

Top 15 ways to detect an Internet Imposter

1. They are usually very polite and may use the phrase, “if you don’t mind...,” somewhere in their first message or something of that nature.
2. They immediately attempt to lure you away from the dating site or social media platform by supplying their email address.
3. They’ll try to encourage you to communicate through Skype. This is due to the fact they’re usually not even in the USA and therefore have no phone number. If they do have a number it’s only that…a number. There is no phone or phone company associated with it.
4. They almost always have Yahoo or Hotmail - although gmail is starting to be common.
5. Ask them to take a selfie.  Imposters usually only have one picture or a limited number of photos they have stolen from someone else’s profile. A phony won’t be able to produce additional photos and the quality of the photos are usually blurry or too good to be true..
6. They usually live far away making it impossible for you to immediately confirm their identity. Communication is also inconsistent. This is because they have many of these scams going at once.
7. They have no problem with revealing their occupation and income since this information is merely a script.
8. They often target older women they feel may be a little more vulnerable and established.
9. They come on much too strong too quickly.
10. They may purposely withhold their photo from the site and ask permission to send it to your email in order to obtain your email address.
11. They often say they’re new to the site.
12. They say they are “widowed” to gain your sympathy.
13. They are frequently too familiar and use terms of endearment such as “honey” and “dear.”
14. They usually note or compare similarities such as zodiac signs and/or place of residence.
15. They will readily give their first and last names, which is an indication that the name may be stolen.

Suggestions

Verify Identity

• There are tools you can use to detect a phony. As soon as you obtain enough information run it through a website that will verify the person’s identity such as Beenverified.com. This will save a whole lot of time. Should you determine the person is a phony, cut the communication immediately.  Some will attempt to convince you that they themselves are the victims of identity fraud, but don’t fall for it.

Use online tools

Facial Recognition Software:

Many people aren’t aware that Google has a Facial Recognition Tool in the Google Cloud Platform that is very helpful in detecting phonies. This tool will perform a facial scan and give a report on the properties of the photo.

For instance;

• You can know whether the photo is a selfie or taken by someone else. If taken by someone else, it could have come from anywhere.

• The best feature of this Facial Identification Tool is the “Web Entities”. This tool provides links to other places on the web where the photo can be found. This is Hugh!  

If the person is a phony he will be found using the photo or photos he uploaded on many other sites. 

He may use the same name or he may use various names all over the net. Either way, you’ll catch him in it. If you have a problem finding this tool you can just email me at info@thefivestarman.com

Advice

If you’ve been communicating with someone on the net for a while and feel it’s time to meet face to face, please take someone with you; or, at least, let someone be aware of where you’re going, and always meet in a public place.

There are too many people missing today. You certainly don’t want your name to be added to the list.

The greatest benefit to online dating is the ability to carefully screen the person of interest in advance. I urge you to fully use this benefit to your advantage.

Many people have had success with online dating and have shared their stories. Unfortunately, there have been equally as many nightmare stories. With that in mind, my advice is to proceed with caution.

T. Naomi Williams is an author and dating coach who has counseled many women through the dating process, sharing wisdom acquired through her own dating experiences as well as from the countless stories shared by other women. Through counseling, she has come to understand the concerns that today's women have for their futures. Her increased desire to be supportive of women in the dating arena inspired her to write The Five Star Man. Williams also serves as a director for a faith-based organization in New York City. 
For more information, please visit www.thefivestarman.com.