Parenting Pointers: Sportsmanship

Ever since legendary broadcaster Brent Musburger coined it in 1982, during his network’s NCAA tournament coverage, the words “March Madness”, have evoked excitement, school pride, and great competition.  Inevitably, there will be two weeks a year packed with upsets, tears from players and fans alike, and the daily comparisons regarding just how well your bracket is holding up. The backdrop for all of this drama just happens to be a basketball court but the focus is always on the game itself.  There will only be one winner out of the lucky 68 teams who receive an invitation to the Big Dance. However, almost always, every school represented during the Super Bowl of collegiate basketball will be simply thrilled for an opportunity to hit those boards. Win or lose, within five minutes of the last buzzer signaling the end of the matchup, the two teams will symbolically form two parallel lines and begin the customary shaking of one another’s hands.  Why? Ultimately, the final stamp is all about great sportsmanship, but how is it sometimes difficult for us to remember this very simple adage?

We all know and believe the basic rules taught to us since our days of playing various sports.   There are countless benefits to playing sports and being a part of a team. Whether we have memories of making the A team, or not even seeing our last name on the final sheet hung up on the gym door informing us  that we made the cut at all, the sheer experiences of suiting up in our school colors remain ingrained in us to or core. When our very own student athlete comes home on a dark Wednesday night, worn out and hungry after spending close to ten hours at school, we instantly connect by asking the very questions needed about their day because many of us have been there years before. So, just how is it when the adult sometimes forgets the overall message being taught for decades?

When  two 8th grade basketball teams are battling it out matching basket to basket on the scoreboard, and the venue has become so loud that it is impossible to hear anything at all, it is possible for us to catch the overly intense father screaming at his son after missing the easy layup or the mother in the stands making a snide comment regarding the arch rival’s mom carrying last season’s Prada bag.  Somehow, more often than any of us want to admit to ourselves, the respect and fairness we are desperately hoping to teach our kids becomes lost in the frenzy of it all. It becomes a shame that our kids can reflect on the joy of snagging the district championship, or not, but can still feel proud of their hard fought efforts, but we may only remember the parent screaming at the “uninformed referee” who can’t properly count how many seconds in the lane one of the players was.  It is doubtful that some of these images are ones any of us want for our kids to recall.

In a day and age when life has seemed to rely more and more on our electronic devices and social media, the mainstay of sports and lessons taught from them which have remained unchanged over generations becomes more and more important.  It goes without saying that kids of all ages learn from the adults in their lives, whether they fill the capacity of teacher, coach, mentor, or actual parent. This can include the small gestures or the heroic efforts. Good sportsmanship teaches the importance of enjoying a sport or activity for its own sake, displaying good ethics, fairness, and showing respect to all of our competitors.  Nowhere in the definition of this word does it state that it is acceptable for the exclamation point of the evening being a parent wearing navy blue refusing to sit down in front of another parent whose shade of blue is royal. Despite how intense some of these competitions might seem to all of us at the time, it needs to be remembered that it is still a game.

Most of our Johnnie’s and Lindsey’s will not end up with Division 1 scholarships or having futures similar to the Manziel’s or Vonn’s, but that is OK.  In fact, it is more than OK. The hours and hours of practice time and game times logged are teaching a much more valuable lesson that does last a lifetime.  So, maybe the next time we sit down in the stands for our highly anticipated matchups, we can all try to remember to follow the sportsmanship angle and not the “madness” angle as we cheer everyone on.  Despite being grownups, we can still learn from our kids. Good sportsmanship is something so great that it can last a lifetime, and even, every so often, let us display beautiful trophies.

 ML Rosynek is author of Crossed Up,

What starts out as a basketball championship game for five lifelong friends in Texas turns into an enchanting, unimaginable journey filled with pirates, spirits, time-travelers and more. While staying at The Galvez Hotel for their championship series, the team begins to notice unusual events they cannot explain: such as crying young woman who always vanishes into the hallways, and paintings that come to life. Once they uncover the mystery of the tyrant pirate Jean Lafitte who wreaked havoc over the hotel and Galveston 200 years ago, the boys decide to help these lost souls break free of the curse by defeating him for once and for all.