Those who have lost a loved one due to natural causes may not understand all the complexities of a loss from a murder, which has its own deeper level of denial and shock. The event is unbelievable, unexpected, tragic and a crime, all at once. In 2009, Kevin C. McCall, loving husband and proud father of three, experienced the unimaginable: his youngest son, Ryan, was murdered in a robbery attempt leaving a college party in Tampa, Florida. For Kevin, his wife Joanne, and his children, Kimberly and Kevin, this began their most difficult and traumatic new reality.
In For the Love of Family: How a Knock on the Door Changed Everything (Newman Springs Publishing, Inc. March 4, 2019), Kevin shares his personal journey over the course of more than six years, during which he fought daily to escape the grip of depression and hate and to center his life around love and faith. His decision to record and write about his journey following Ryan’s death and through the investigation, arrest, trial and conviction of the murderer, provides an important opportunity to shed light on the complicated grief process endured when a loved one dies by homicide. Although his story is harrowing and painful, it is also filled with love—love for his family, and love for life.
“I cannot say why I chose to journal this experience. I am not a writer and had never kept a diary before,” says McCall. “Perhaps at some level, I thought that if I could see the words on paper, I could make sense of my situation. I could prove to myself that I was not losing my sanity.”
Resonating on a multitude of levels, For the Love of Family, shares the harrowing journey of one family facing their fears, feeling their buried pain, and confronting insurmountable loss. It offers hope and inspiration for anyone experiencing the anguish and despair that never completely heals from the death of a child. What began as an ordinary day became a story of human sorrow and of an extraordinary family triumphing over evil and grief.
I had a chance to interview him to learn more.
Why did you decide to publish this book?
I thought it was important for me initially to work though all of the emotions that I had for over those many years.
I never went back and read my journals until I stated to write the book or put the book together for the book was already written just had to make readable. As I read over the many entries I notice then this could maybe give hope to many that you can have joy and happiness of life again. It okay to still have moments of pain and grief for your loss but it won't be as heavy and will subside. Just keep moving forward.
What makes homicide particularly unique in terms of how it affects a family?
When your child is taken from you by homicide is very complex There is a world wind of emotions First it's the trauma Your child is murdered Murder is a heavy word How does someone take another ones life. After the funeral it's not over for you to start to heal from the tragic lost of you loved one. The investigation begins,the arrest comes and then the trial The family dynamics is so out of sorts You are immersed in all this with the contest reminder of the murder.
How can people support someone else who has gone through an unexpected tragedy?
I've thought about this so many times. What I began to tell people not to try and understand just be understanding. What I mean by that is support with love and never offer advice until you are asked. Be careful of the words you offer for comfort. Stay away from cliches like "things happen for a reason" etc.
Where are some places people can go to for help if they experience a sudden catastrophe?
I know for me and my wife we reached out to the State Attorney's Victim Advocate Program They gave us support with a professional counselor who specialized in victims of crime. If that is not available I look to your church, local organizations that may give you direction on who can help .
About the Author:
Kevin McCall is a husband and father. He spent his career as a plumbing professional and business owner. Kevin was born and raised in Pennsylvania. He continued to live in Pennsylvania after marrying, and this is where his three children, Kimberly, Kevin, Jr., and Ryan, were born. Kevin moved his family to Florida in 2007, where he currently resides with his wife of 40 years, Joanne. Following Ryan’s murder in 2009, he founded the Ryan P. McCall Foundation, Inc. to honor his son’s memory and to carry out Ryan’s vision of helping others and giving back to the community. The Foundation sponsors charity runs and other fundraising events, using the proceeds to support local organizations in Pennsylvania and Florida.
Kevin remains close with his two living children, Kimberly and Kevin, Jr., who are both married, and he treasures the time he spends with his grandchildren. His deceased son, Ryan, remains a close companion in his thoughts and in his heart.
About the Ryan P. McCall Foundation:
Ryan McCall was a senior at the University of Tampa, working towards his degree in Allied Health. As a rising athlete, he was a contributing cross-country and track runner while also serving as a coach at Tampa Prep. More than an athlete and scholar; Ryan was a positive influence on everyone who knew him. To honor Ryan and the ideals he believed in, the Ryan P. McCall Foundation, Inc. was created. The mission of the foundation is to carry out Ryan’s vision of helping others and giving back to the community. Since its inception, 22 scholarships have been awarded to both male and female student athletes across Tampa Bay and Downingtown West and donations given to both Tampa Police Memorial Fund, C.O.P.S. (Concerns of Police Survivors) and the Children's Cancer Center. For more information on the foundation and Ryan’s Run, please visit www.ryanpmccall.com or connect on Facebook.
For the Love of Family: How a Knock on the Door Changed Everything is available in Hardcover and Paperback at bookstores nationwide and online retailers such as Amazon.com
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