Book Nook: Getting Back Up: A Story of Resilience, Self-Acceptance & Success

 “I grew up in a place where I was not meant to exist—a place where my identity as a gay male was contrary to Middle Eastern culture, standards, and faith. I grew up in a home filled with dysfunction and strife. I carried the weight of all of that on my shoulders; a weight that made me feel unworthy, afraid, and alone. But, if you carry a weight constantly, eventually you become stronger. The weight I carried and the strength I built was all so I could fight. I fought to walk again after a horrific accident, I fought to come to the U.S. even though I was an outcast here as well, I fought for success, and I fought for the privilege to live my life in truth. I fought for love and for the family my husband and I created through surrogates. When I was lying on the road, in shock with my legs mangled, I didn’t know it, but I was just beginning a fight for my life—a life of happiness, hard-earned and well-deserved happiness.”

-Harma Hartouni

Survivor. Gay, Middle Eastern Male. Self-Made Entrepreneur. Proud Husband and Father. Author of Getting Back Up: A Story of Resilience, Self-Acceptance & Success

In Getting Back Up: A Story of Resilience, Self-Acceptance & Success (March 2021) self-made entrepreneur and developer, Harma Hartouni, shares a collection of life events that have been most impactful in leading him where he is today: a proud gay man living in Los Angeles, one of the most successful real estate entrepreneurs in America, and a husband and father of three. Born in America and raised in Iran, where he survived abuse from his father, sexual assault, bullying, and a near-death accident, Hartouni learned that life is never about what happens to you; it is about what you do with it. His story of finding his voice and living his truth, even when he was an outcast and all odds were against him, will inspire others to face their own battles head-on to find their own well-deserved happiness.

I had a chance to interview Harma to learn more.

Why did you write this book?

It didn’t start out to be a book. I started writing down all the lessons I learned growing up because I wanted to be a better parent to my children. Then I eventually realized that these lessons could turn into an amazing book that describes my journey. It really began with me writing down lessons for my children then became more of a love letter to them, then a book which I hope will inspire people around me.

 

In Iran, you were a minority in many ways - how did that shape your upbringing?

Although my family was the minority, the people of Iran were extremely kind to Armenians. As Armenians living in Iran, we were actually respected for our work ethic and honesty. We were excellent mechanics, contractors, plumbers and were treated much better because of this. However, still the minority so Armenians were a very tight knit community that knew the importance of keeping the culture and the traditions and passing them down to younger generations. This shaped me by giving me the understanding that there were so many more cultures out there and each one has beauty, traditions and community. I actually love Iranians, their culture, even their religion which has a similar base to a lot of other religions. I loved growing up there.

 

Why can it be helpful for people to read stories like yours, even if they think they might have nothing in common with it?

My story is not about tragedy. It is more about how challenges can be relatable to anyone. It’s also a story that can teach and remind us that our perception of a country or culture might not be really the truth. My hope is when my readers finish the book they have learned more about the Arminian and Iranian cultures as well as gain some inner strength if they are going through a tragedy or facing a challenging situation. At the end of the day, we are all the same….we are all human.

 

What advice do you have for others who might be searching for belonging?

My search is still not over. In every chapter of my life, I am searching for answers. Don’t be satisfied with low quality, inadequate answers. Don’t be accepting of something if it makes you unhappy. Don’t be afraid to build something even though people around you might be discouraging. Don’t stop, push forward, seek more for yourself and know you are not alone.