Book Nook: Overcoming the Mom-Life Crisis - Ditch the Guilt, Put Yourself on the To-Do List, and Create a Life You Love

 

Nina Restieri, founder and president of momAgenda, is the author of the new release OVERCOMING THE MOM-LIFE CRISIS: Ditch the Guilt, Put Yourself on the To-Do List, and Create a Life You Love. 

When discussing her popular momAgenda products, Nina notes that sales increased dramatically when quarantine began because having a planner gave moms at least some semblance of control and peace over what’s going on in their household. This in term allows them to be mentally prepared and it helps reduce the everyday, ongoing anxieties and chaos that quarantine life gives us. 

  

In this empowering and candid resource, Nina gives parents the permission to put their masks on first, forget the guilt. One topic she could discuss is what self-care for moms actually looks like for Mother’s Day -  

• Start making decisions based on the idea that you matter, and that your happiness matters.  
• Give yourself permission to say no.
• Kondo your to-do list: decide on your two to three highest priorities, and cross out everything on your list that’s not aligned with those priorities.
• Learn to do less. Let go of the small stuff. And let go of a little control.

I had a chance to interview her to learn more.

 

1. What is the mom-life crisis, and how does it happen?

All moms experience overwhelm and stress. But a “mom-life crisis” is when you don’t see a way out. You think the only way to be a good mom is to sacrifice your happiness and shove your own needs out the door. You believe that “I’m a good mom and that’s all that matters.” You’re unhappy, your marriage suffers, your kids suffer, and you suffer.

2. What are some specific ways a mom can overcome the mom-life crisis?

To overcome the mom-life crisis, it’s important to remember that you are more than a mom. Your happiness matters, your needs matter, your voice matters. Find what feeds you and the parts of you that make you feel alive. Give yourself permission to take time for yourself, prioritize what mattes, to love and take care of yourself. Align what you choose to spend your energy on with what you really want.

3. Why is it so important for moms to take the steps you outline?

If you’re not taking care of yourself, you won’t have the energy to take care of anyone else. You can’t give from an empty plate. Following these steps doesn’t just make you a happier mom – it helps you be your best self, and the best mom you can be.

4. How do  you define self-care?

I define self care as follows: Self-care is knowing you matter and making choices every day that ensure you’re at your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual best.

It’s a mindset shift based on the idea that your happiness and your fulfillment are important. It’s about giving yourself permission to take care of yourself. It’s not about getting manicures or taking bubble baths – it’s making choices that make you feel good and benefit your well-being in the long run. Basic examples include sticking to a sleep routine, eating healthy foods, and exercising to boost your mood. Deeper examples include things like learning to say no to people/things that aren’t aligned with your priorities, letting go of guilt and being kind to yourself.

5. Is it possible to be a great mom and still prioritize your own needs, and if so, how?

It’s not only possible, it’s necessary. Prioritizing your own needs alongside those of your child/children makes you a better mom. That’s because you’re a happier, better version of yourself when you take care of your own needs. This makes you better at everything – it makes you a better mom!