Gun violence is up as much as 50% in some American cities. So, how do we talk to our kids about this so they feel safer/more self-assured?
Three bestselling expert psychologists from Emory University with over 20-yrs in the field (Ann Hazzard, Ph.D., Marianne Celano, Ph.D., & Marietta Collins, Ph.D.) are talking about gun violence, how parents can speak to their children about shootings and more, in SOMETHING HAPPENED IN OUR PARK.
This graphic-novel follow-up to Something Happened in Our Town: A Kid's Story About Racial Injustice, tells the story of Miles and his cousin who experience gun violence in their local park. The fall out from this scary experience is explored through the eyes of a young boy and his family.
I had a chance to learn more in this interview.
Why is it important for parents and caregivers to help kids process the feelings that might happen when they hear about gun violence?
Many kids may have become concerned about their own and their family’s safety after hearing news accounts or conversations about shootings. They may start to avoid activities or places, have difficulty sleeping, or become clingy or irritable. Discussing gun violence and community safety can help kids manage anxiety and distinguish between real and perceived threats to safety.
How can parents help their kids stay safe without making them too anxious or fearful?
Parents can discuss gun violence in ways which increase kids’ safety without making them overly fearful. Caregivers can also help kids learn coping strategies to manage anxiety. Here are some helpful strategies:
Ask young kids what they already know about an incident. Let them tell you in their own words.
Validate their feelings, including their confusion about what actually happened.
Coach them to "turn down the volume" on emotions that feel overwhelming or interfere in sleep, by using emotion regulation strategies such as deep breathing, humming/singing, snuggling with a pet or stuffed animal, or imagining a safe place or positive memory.
Gently correct any distortions kids may have about shootings. For example, they may conclude that an incident on TV must have occurred nearby.
Encourage positive thinking to help your kids think about risk realistically. Even if there has been a shooting in your city or neighborhood, the risks of an individual child being a victim of gun violence are low. You could say, “There was a shooting nearby. But even so, most people do not ever get shot. Think about all of the people in our neighborhood who have NOT been shot.”
Highlight what parents, caregivers, teachers, and community leaders are doing to maximize community safety. Help kids realize what they can do to increase safety such as regular communication with parents about their whereabouts.
Is it important to have discussions about gun violence even if it's not something kids know about?
As child psychologists, we’ve found that kids often know more about many topics than parents think they do. Given recent news stories about increased gun violence, many kids are aware of this issue. Children sometimes hesitate to bring up challenging topics so it is helpful for parents to create opportunities to assess their child’s perspective and concerns.
We believe that reading a story together is an easy way to introduce the topic. After reading our story, parents could say something like “Miles was worried after the park shooting. Have you ever felt like that?”
Our story also offers an opportunity to talk about the important issue of safe gun storage. Parents can note that, “It’s important for adults who own guns to put them in a safe and secret place and lock them up. Sometimes kids or teenagers find guns that adults did not store safely. If you find a gun that is not locked up, you should never pick it up. If it is loaded, it could go off and hurt someone. You should find an adult and tell them about the gun.”
What makes your book particularly helpful for adults and kids when talking about gun violence?
While our book deals with an issue that can be anxiety-provoking for kids, they are likely to feel empowered by the end of the story. The main character, Miles, is initially anxious when his cousin is injured in a park shooting and wants to avoid the park. However, using his own creativity, and with support from his family and friends, he overcomes his fear and begins living his life fully again.
Also, the story involves a community coming together to “claim peace” and address some of the factors that have contributed to gun violence. They successfully advocate for a “Peace in the Streets” program which includes jobs and youth activities. Kids learn that being proactive and working with others can solve community problems.
Another helpful feature of our book is a 6-page section for parents and educators which can help prepare adults for discussions. This Reader’s Note contains basic information about gun violence, tips for reducing kids’ anxiety, sample adult-child dialogues, and a link to additional online resources.
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