Sometimes parents need advice on how to protect their children from being exposed to and influenced by insidious ideologies and hate groups that look to recruit or at least influence teens, especially online. I recently found out about a resource published by the Western States Center titled “Confronting Conspiracies and Organized Bigotry at Home," a toolkit designed to give parents the know-how and strategies for protecting their children from being influenced by bigoted ideologies and groups, particularly online.
Some key components of the toolkit include:
- A framework to help adults recognize the degree to which a young person has become influenced by bigoted ideologies
- Talking points to help support productive conversations with kids and teens about conspiracy theories, bigoted groups, and digital and media literacy
- Conversation starters, open-ended questions, and sentence stems that encourage critical thinking and keep the lines of communication open with young people
- Guidance for how to convey the value of an inclusive, multiracial democracy
How common is youth radicalization?
Unfortunately, white nationalist and other bigoted groups explicitly target young people with savvy videos, memes, and gaming platforms. It’s hard to measure the number actively buying in to the hatred, but research shows that a majority of young people come into contact with bigoted and conspiracy-filled online content. The social isolation and increased time spent online that resulted from the COVID pandemic is a deeply worrying risk factor. Our kids are exposed to dangerous messages on the web each day that seek to normalize bigotry and hatred toward immigrants, Jewish people, people of color, Trans folks, members of the broader LGBTQ community, women, and people advocating for justice, empathy, and diversity in general.
How can adults identify when young people have been influenced by radical ideologies?
The first thing parents can and should do is stay aware of what their kids are being exposed to online. It’s not too early to get nosy and ask questions about everything they are watching, what their friends are posting, they choices they are making, and what they think about all of it. When they notice something concerning, it can be difficult for parents and caregivers to know if it is simply innocent, passive contact or something more serious. The Caregiver’s Guide offers an outline of stages of indoctrination meant to help people tease out what is going on with their loved one.
Using the question prompts from the guide, a parent or caregiver can engage in conversation to begin recognizing how influenced someone is by the online content. For example, if you notice that your child or teen is “liking” or laughing at memes on Instagram that you do not understand or that seem odd or include violent imagery, there are a number of questions you should ask them. Do they even understand what it’s conveying? Do you understand it? The less you understand what your child or teen is exposed to and what sense they are making of it, the more dangerous the situation.
Some red flag warning signs that your child or teen has moved beyond accidental absorption include changes in their friendship group, spending more time isolating and online, mood changes, language that goes against the family values you have long established within the home, and questioning the need for empathy, acceptance, tolerance of people with different backgrounds.
Some ways this could play out might look something like the following:
While overseeing a teen’s Instagram use, a mother notices her child laughing at memes of Pepe the Frog or jokes about Hitler.
A young boy says he doesn’t want to hang out with a friend because he says nasty things about girls.
A young person reports they don’t know why everyone is still so concerned about the “Chinese virus.”
The child shares memes and videos on social media that call people “snowflakes,” “triggered,” or “too sensitive.”
A child or teem repeats bigoted jokes believed to be “positive” stereotypes, like “Jews are really good with money,” “We need more Black people on our team if we’re going to win,” or “Asians are good at math.”
It’s easy to see how parents could brush off these incidents as “kids being kids,” but recognizing them as warning signs–and responding to them appropriately–is the best way to keep children safe.
How can adults encourage students to think critically so they don't get swept up into believing things that aren't true?
Parents and teens should both engage in civic education and digital literacy on an ongoing basis–we shouldn’t wait until there’s a problem before we talk with kids about these issues.
Some important issues to talk about include
Why you can’t believe everything you see on the internet
What an author or sender’s motivation might be. Why did they create that meme? What are they trying to suggest? What do they want you to believe? Why?
What does indoctrination mean? Who in their lives is trying to shape their perspective on the world, and for what purpose? What is the difference between a parent and teacher’s influence and someone trying to cultivate hatred toward others?
How conspiracy theories work. Yes, sometimes conspiracies do exist, but they have particular features. Do the ideas they’re being exposed to fit those criteria?
It is essential that parents understand how technology and communication work so they can model for their kids how to think critically about claims being presented as fact without supporting evidence. Most importantly, making it a habit to partner with their kids or teens and talking to them about what they are reading and seeing online can be a powerful guard against online bigotry.
How can adults make sure to keep lines of communication open so they don't push away the young people they're trying to help?
It is never too early or too late to start talking to their child about what they’re exposed to online. The most essential thing is to be curious. Demonstrate interest in what they’re experiencing and how they’re interpreting what they see and hear. If you believe your child or teen is becoming influenced by bigoted or conspiratorial ideas, try not to overreact in a way that is either punitive or condescending. Parents will need to have multiple, ongoing conversations and experiment with their approach.
Some keys to remember include;
Become a partner in supporting the child or teen to recognize bigotry and hate and its negative consequences.
Avoid bad-mouthing their online heroes or trusted voices. Instead, ask questions about why they like their perspective. What do they think the benefits are of what they offer?
Deliver the message that you believe they are smart and capable of seeing through manipulative messaging. Withhold judgment and express genuine concern about where hate-filled ideas can lead, asking about their own values and vision for the future.
The point is to engage in conversation in ways that support their critical thinking, cement you as a partner in identifying manipulative content, and ensuring that you become a trusted and supportive resource when they question what they’re exposed to. At the earlier stages of influence, parents have a great opportunity to help their child or teen recognize the manipulation underlying the messaging as well as the dark future they lead toward. At the later stages, parents need to reach out for community supports. The Caregiver’s Guide can support parents in teasing out when their child or teen has crossed into more dangerous territory.
Ultimately, a parent should try to develop an open door policy so young feel comfortable questioning the information they see online, strengthening their ability to judge sketchy material. Parents and caregivers also have a role to play in supporting and encouraging schools and other youth-serving organizations to prioritize digital literacy and educate their staff about how to recognize anti-democracy influence and rhetoric.
If a caregiver suspects that a child or teen is already under the influence of bigoted people, a challenge is that many of the tools of persuasion we often use don’t work. Our punitive or persuasive efforts can be read as overreactions and push young people further into the bigotry or conspiracy theories. For example, attempting to label or insult individual groups, cutting off access to friends or the internet and even making rational, fact-based arguments can backfire. A powerful tool parents can use in this situation is to leverage relationships. Enlisting the help of another trusted adult can help maintain important connections if it can be done without violating a teen’s sense of privacy.
Another useful tactic is to appeal to a teen’s values. For instance, connecting with a community organizing group can help provide the sense of meaning that young people desire, without the dangerous threat of bigoted messages. Asking questions with openness and curiosity while referencing a teen’s values can help them question information without becoming defensive. Remember that it’s helpful to acknowledge that real conspiracies do exist. It’s important to point out that most actual conspiracies are small, timebound, and focus on a narrow area. Those stand in stark contrast to antisemitic conspiracy theories about Jews, for example.
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