Soul Sustenance - How to Choose a Men’s Retreats With Lasting Impact

MELD CEO Owen Marcus on what makes transformation stick among men

By Merilee Kern, MBA

Men’s retreats have surged in popularity over the past two decades, expanding from niche offerings into a broad and booming industry. Today, men can choose from silent meditation weekends, plant medicine journeys, physically demanding rites of passage, therapeutic intensives, leadership offsites, and community-based brotherhood gatherings. The range is vast, and the intentions are often sincere. Yet despite this diversity, many men report the same outcome once they return home. The retreat feels powerful while it is happening. Something opens emotionally or psychologically. Then life resumes, familiar stressors return, and whatever shifted begins to fade.

According to Owen Marcus, founder of MELD (Men’s Emotional Leadership Development) and author of “Grow Up: A Man’s Guide to Emotional Maturity” has spent decades designing and leading men’s retreats. In his view, the reason many retreats fail to produce lasting change has little to do with motivation or effort. The problem is physiological. Many programs emphasize emotional experience and insight, but overlook how the body integrates those shifts once men return to daily life. Without that integration, Marcus says, the nervous system simply reverts to old survival patterns.

Marcus explains that when men leave a retreat feeling lighter, clearer, or emotionally open, they often assume that shift will last. But if the nervous system has not learned how to remain regulated under stress, the body quickly defaults to old survival patterns. “The difference between a temporary breakthrough and lasting transformation is physiology,” he says. “If the body does not feel safe enough to relax and connect consistently, insight alone cannot hold.”

Understanding the landscape of men’s retreats through this lens becomes essential when choosing one that delivers lasting impact rather than a temporary high. According to Marcus, what determines success is not the intensity of the experience but whether the retreat changes a man’s baseline state. That baseline is governed by the nervous system, not by intention or willpower.

Marcus identifies eight main categories of men’s retreats that show up repeatedly across the industry. Each offers something valuable, but each also carries limitations when it comes to long-term integration.

Adventure or rite-of-passage retreats rely on physical challenge, fasting, endurance, or exposure to harsh environments to awaken primal energy and a sense of initiation. These experiences can be meaningful for men seeking purpose, strength, or a confrontation with their limits. However, Marcus notes that without nervous system regulation and emotional safety, the resulting high often fades once daily life resumes.

Therapeutic or process-based retreats are rooted in psychotherapy, trauma release, and emotional processing. They can generate deep catharsis, especially for men navigating grief, loss, or major life transitions. Marcus cautions that if the body is not stabilized afterward, insight fades and unresolved emotional material can resurface without support.

Spiritual or mindfulness retreats emphasize meditation, breathwork, and contemplative practices. These experiences quiet the mind and expand awareness, which many men find deeply restorative. Yet awareness alone does not teach the nervous system new patterns for handling relationships, pressure, or conflict.

Ideological or men’s movement retreats center around specific narratives of masculinity, leadership, or polarity. They often create strong group identity and energy, but Marcus warns that they can replace one rigid script with another rather than helping men discover their own embodied truth.

Corporate or leadership retreats are common in professional environments and focus on communication, teamwork, and performance. While effective for strategy and cohesion, they rarely address emotional regulation, stress physiology, or vulnerability, which are essential for resilience and authenticity.

Healing or plant medicine retreats can open profound experiences and deep insight. Without careful preparation, integration, and community support, however, Marcus explains that the nervous system may struggle to sustain the shift and can even become destabilized.

Community or brotherhood retreats emphasize belonging and shared storytelling. Many men feel immediate relief simply realizing they are not alone. Yet without embodied practice, old habits tend to return when stress reappears.

The final category, somatic and science-based retreats, represents what Marcus calls the emerging generation of men’s work. In these environments, physiology, emotion, and community are treated as one integrated system. At the 4-day MELD PRIME science-backed somatic retreat training for men, attendees learn to regulate their nervous systems, release chronic stress patterns, and reconnect safely with others. “The work is causal, not symptomatic,” Marcus says. “It changes how the system operates, not just how it feels.”

What distinguishes somatic, science-based retreats from the others is where they begin. “Most programs start with mindset,” Marcus explains. “MELD starts with the body.” He emphasizes that the nervous system is not broken. It is adaptive. It learned to keep a man safe at some point in his life. Those same adaptations can later limit his ability to relax, connect, and lead.

Marcus points to the concepts of allostasis and coherence as central to understanding lasting change. Allostasis explains how the body continually adjusts to meet life’s demands. Chronic stress keeps that system on high alert, creating wear and tear known as allostatic load. Over time, that load shows up as anxiety, burnout, disconnection, and even illness. By reducing allostatic load, energy becomes available for creativity, intimacy, and purpose.

Regulation, Marcus explains, happens in layers. Physiological regulation comes first. Breath, posture, heart rate, and movement patterns tell the brain whether it is safe. When those signals change, the brain follows. Emotional regulation comes next. Once the body settles, emotions can be felt without overwhelm, allowing men to respond rather than react. Relational regulation follows. Safety becomes contagious through eye contact, tone, pacing, and shared rhythm. “That’s why we call the community a living nervous system,” Marcus says.

When these layers align, coherence emerges. Coherence is not simply calmness. It is alignment, where the body, emotions, and relationships move in the same direction rather than pulling against each other.

Marcus urges men to be cautious of retreats that promise instant breakthroughs. Overpromising is the first red flag. If transformation is guaranteed in twenty-four hours, he says, the retreat is selling a high rather than healing. One-size-fits-all masculinity is another warning sign. If a retreat defines manhood for you, it is not respecting your biology or personal history. Finally, Marcus stresses the importance of aftercare. Real change requires integration and accountability beyond the weekend.

MELD PRIME, he explains, is intentionally structured to address these gaps. It is not a weekend escape but a four-day living laboratory. Men learn to regulate their nervous systems in real time through breath, grounding, pacing, and relational safety. Participation is always voluntary. Safety, not confrontation, is the mechanism of change.

The work can be uncomfortable because it involves reconnecting with parts that were intentionally disconnected. Marcus explains that the more a man leans into authenticity and connection, the more his system reorganizes around coherence.

Community plays a central role because healing does not happen in isolation. The nervous system evolved to co-regulate. In community, signals of safety multiply. Men breathe together. Shoulders drop. Hearts synchronize. When participants return home, they carry that imprint with them. Their families and workplaces feel the shift. Healing the individual begins healing the ecosystem around him.

Lasting change, Marcus says, is not a peak experience. It is a new baseline. Men leave with practices, friendships, and embodied habits that continue expanding after they return home. Focus improves. Relationships deepen. Stress becomes manageable. The nervous system becomes an ally rather than an adversary. That is why many men describe MELD PRIME not as a retreat, but as a reset.

When evaluating a men’s retreat, Marcus suggests three essential questions. Does it work with the body, not just the mind. Does it provide integration and community afterward. Does it honor individual truth over ideology. When body, safety, and community are present, transformation becomes sustainable.

The modern era of men’s work began with movements that helped men break emotional silence and normalize vulnerability. But visibility alone could not evolve the work. What was needed was a physiological foundation. MELD PRIME honors what came before while grounding men’s work in neuroscience, somatic regulation, and community-based integration. Where earlier retreats sparked insight, this retreat trains the operating system underneath behavior.

Men are often taught to think their way into change. Read another book. Make another plan. Set another intention. Marcus argues that real transformation is physiological. When a man’s body learns safety, his life changes course. Relationships deepen. Focus returns. Connection becomes natural. That is not philosophy. It is physiology in action.

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Merilee Kern, MBA is an internationally-regarded brand strategist and analyst who reports on cultural shifts and trends as well as noteworthy industry change makers, movers, shakers and innovators across all categories, both B2C and B2B. This includes field experts and thought leaders, brands, products, services, destinations and events. As Founder, Executive Editor and Producer of “The Luxe List,” Merilee is a prolific business, lifestyle, travel, dining and leisure industry voice of authority and tastemaker. She keeps her finger on the pulse of the marketplace in search of new and innovative must-haves and exemplary experiences at all price points, from the affordable to the extreme. Her work reaches multi-millions worldwide via broadcast TV (her own shows and copious others on which she appears) as well as a myriad of print and online publications. Connect with her at www.TheLuxeList.com / Instagram www.Instagram.com/MerileeKern / Twitter www.Twitter.com/MerileeKern / Facebook www.Facebook.com/MerileeKernOfficial / LinkedIN www.LinkedIn.com/in/MerileeKern.