When it comes to motherhood, there’s a myriad of messages pushing women towards perfection. Just take a quick glance at the “motherhood” side of Tik Tok. The curation of toddler meal prep is sublime! The most beautiful tiny, non-toxic cubed containers + elite gourmet finger foods, all organic of course. Or the freezers full of curated iced-fruit (in bins, not bags) creating a spread meant for a magazine cover. The woman is model-level perfect and doesn’t seem to break a sweat, ever.
But is it real? Or is it just another ... reel?
Tik Tok alone could stock pile your algorithm full of curated reels, comparisons, and very strong pressure for mothers to do more labor all while looking perfect. It all might seem glamorous, but trying to exchange authenticity for profit comes with unexpected costs, like lack of connection and constant pressure to be more.
There’s just so much pressure on moms in general to hold everything together quietly. Some seasons are heavy, and acknowledging that doesn’t mean you’re failing.
It means you’re real. And it means you’re living in day-to-day experiences that aren’t curated, like the smelly side of motherhood, the exhausted side of motherhood, the confused side of motherhood, and even the lonely side.
We might watch a mother have it all together on social media, but when the camera is off, she shares the same thing we all do: the unglamorous side of reality.
It's inside this very real space where everyone experiences normal difficulties. Like when goals aren’t always met, kids don’t eat well, parents are exhausted, our clothes don’t fit the same, is Johnny biting other kids at school again? Sometimes the dream doesn’t feel like what you thought it would.
So how do we hold all of this? And how do we love ourselves and other moms through the very real reality called motherhood?
4 Beautiful Practices That Can Bring Life and Abundance to the Realness of Parenting
1. Grace
If everything was easy and perfect all the time, there would be no room for grace. And grace is the thing that can restore the broken-hearted, mend wounds, and remind us what’s really important in life. With a strong foundation in grace, love can blossom even in the hardest moments. So your kid won’t eat, grace is there. It reminds you how far you’ve come and how much you love your child, even during the food-related tantrum. It reminds you that this is just a moment that will pass and you and your child are good and loved and that it’s ok. Are people staring in the store when your child is thrashing on the ground because they want the thing? Grace is there for the on-lookers who give you that comforting smile saying “I’ve been there too, hang in there.”
2. Staying Grounded
Not the kind where the child is put in their room after unwanted behaviors occur, but the kind where your inner world can’t be shaken by outside pressures. Grounding is a beautiful skill of quiet strength. A lot of the time it’s’ quiet decisions made over and over again when no one is watching. It’s the inner source material that keeps you strong and peaceful when you receive bad news. It’s the kind of thing that keeps your eyes on the non-material goals you hold close to your heart regarding your child’s future. It’s a beautiful foundation to use as your family evolves. What stays constant is the commitment to love, safety, and showing up for each other, even when the shape of the family looks different than before.”
3. Asking For Help
The realness of parenting beacons us to find grace for ourselves and others, to stay grounded in our hopeful, non-material goals for our kids, and to ask for help when we need it. Women, it’s ok that we can’t do it all. Do you need a friend to come over for an hour and clean while you sleep? Do you need a partner to add meal-prep to their Sunday routine and take it off your plate? Do you need an in-law to watch the kids for 3 hours a week while you exercise? When grace is piloting your parenting, asking for help doesn’t have to feel so bad. It can even be a beautiful connection point, an invitation for others to love you in the way you need.
4. Consistency
There’s something to positive consistency that ends up feeling like a life-line for kids. By knowing what to expect, their nervous systems can find reassurance and safety. It also safeguards parents from overexerting themselves with more and more new things that don’t benefit the family. When compared with perfectionism, consistently spending time, creating consistent boundaries, and offering consistent play times will win every time.
These four practices can act as a strong foundation for fostering connection with our children. Grace keeps us focused on what’s truly important, staying grounded keeps us from getting anxious, asking for help fills our tanks, and consistency creates steadfast predictabilty. Remember, the core 4 bring in a level of authenticity that makes space for love in a way perfectionism just can’t do.
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Melissa Corneal is a mom and writer who grew up in Key West, Florida, where she went to Key West High School and learned the value of family and community early on. Her dad still lives there, and it’s a place she and her daughter, Ava, love to visit and feel connected to.
Melissa once owned a small business in Key West where Ava worked alongside her, learning what it means to show up, help out, and be part of something bigger than yourself. Those experiences shape how Melissa thinks about parenting, responsibility, and growing up.
She earned a bachelor’s degree with a minor in accounting and later a master’s degree in business administration with a focus on healthcare management. While her work background is in healthcare operations and project management, her writing is about family, growing up, and navigating the tween and teen years with honesty and care.
Melissa lives in Florida with her daughter, Ava.
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