Parenting Pointers - AI and Child Development

This summer, parents will once again debate with their children about how much screen time is too much. But the rapid increase of AI available to kids may make it even harder to replace the screens with swimming pools.

 

I had a chance to interview distinguished educator, developmental theorist and author Dr. Jonathan Strecker. He discusses why unstructured summer play matters more than ever in this AI worl, drawing insights from his new book Emergence and his YouTube channel. Learn how AI is shaping how children learn and think - and why this convenience doesn't always lead to improved intelligence.

How does screen time affect child development?

Screen time affects child development most when it begins to replace the real experiences children need to grow. I’m not anti-technology per se, and I don’t think screens are evil. The concern is overdependence, causing underdeveloped children. Children develop through friction: physical movement, social conversation, ethical dilemmas, intellectual challenges, and emotional difficulties that trigger our fight, flight, and freeze responses, requiring us to regulate ourselves. When screens become the default solution to every uncomfortable moment, kids miss opportunities to build those capacities. Too much passive screen time can weaken attention, patience, emotional balance, physical exertion, and social confidence. It can also train children to expect constant stimulation and immediate answers. In the age of AI, that matters because children need to learn how to think, not just how to access answers. So the issue is not only screen time. The issue is what screen time is replacing, as well as other conveniences.

Why is it actually good for kids to experience boredom and unstructured play time?

Boredom is underappreciated. It’s not a parenting failure. We love our children, but there is a difference between entertainment and ease, and love. Boredom often the beginning of creativity and self-development (Knowing who we want to become). When a child is bored, they have to generate something from within themselves. They have to imagine, explore, build, move, talk to someone, invent a game, or sit with their own thoughts. That is incredibly important developmentally. Unstructured play is powerful because it develops the whole child. A simple backyard game can build physical, social, emotional, ethical, and intellectual intelligence all at once. Kids have to negotiate rules, handle frustration, take turns, resolve conflicts, and adapt. That kind of play may look inefficient to adults, but it’s actually deeply developmental. In Emergence, I argue that children don’t develop by accident. They emerge through friction. Boredom and unstructured play provide exactly that kind of healthy breeding ground for development.

How can families reduce kids’ dependence on screens?

I think the first step is to stop treating screens as the default response to boredom, discomfort, or inconvenience. Families don’t have to become extreme or anti-technology, but they do need to be more intentional. Start with a few screen-free anchors: meals, the first hour after waking up, the hour before bed, and short car rides. Those moments create space for conversation, reflection, boredom, and connection.Second, replace screen time with real-world alternatives. If you only take the screen away, the child experiences loss. But if you offer outdoor play, books, sports, art, chores, building projects, cooking, or time with friends, you’re giving them another place to put their energy. They will resist at first, but they will come to love it when their minds begin to activate. Third, parents have to model it. Kids notice when adults say screens are a problem while constantly checking their own phones. And finally, make boredom normal. A simple phrase I like is: “Being bored is not an emergency.” Children need to learn that they can survive boredom and often create something meaningful on the other side of it.

What are some engaging summer activities for kids that build skills AI can’t replace?

Summer is a huge opportunity because it gives kids more space for real-world development. In an AI age, I think families should focus on activities that build deeply human capacities. Some great examples are building something with their hands, starting a small summer business, playing a sport, joining theater or music, hiking, camping, cooking, volunteering, reading real books, or learning practical life skills. A lemonade stand may sound simple, but it teaches communication, planning, math, responsibility, confidence, and dealing with disappointment. Building a garden box teaches measurement, patience, physical effort, and problem-solving. Volunteering teaches empathy and ethical awareness. These are the kinds of skills AI can’t replace because AI can’t live a child’s life for them. It can provide information, but it cannot build their character, move their body, form their friendships, or teach them the confidence that comes from doing something hard. 

AI Intelligence is built for ease, comfort, and optimization. Human intelligence is built for wisdom, social connection, resilience, virtue, and health. AI will never be able to think in that way without lived experience.  That’s why I think summer should not just be about keeping kids busy. It should be about helping them emerge.

Jonathan P. Strecker, Ed.D., is a distinguished educator and developmental theorist who hosts his own YouTube channel aimed at helping individuals realize their own unique human potential. His book Emergence: How Modern Convenience is Dumbing Down Our Children––And What Parents and Schools Can Do About It is available now.