Parenting Pointers - Good Pictures, Bad Pictures

Kristen Jenson, MA is the founder of Defend Young Minds and author of the bestselling Good Pictures Bad Pictures book series for kids, which has sold hundreds of thousands of copies in ten languages. Her new book, Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Guide for Girls, was just released and is the first resource written specifically for young girls that helps parents start that conversation that'll keep them safe online without shame or fear.

Something most parents don't realize: 67% of girls say they've intentionally sought out pornography, and the average age of first exposure is 12. For years, we've treated this like a boys' problem. It's not. And girls are being left almost completely unprotected because of that assumption.

I had a chance to see a copy of the book, as well as the versions written for boys and the junior version for even younger readers. Overall, I thought they were very well done. The junior version is easy to understand, vague enough that it's still appropriate for young kids but descriptive enough that the message about bad pictures is clear. The versions for older kids use more specific language and descriptive terms, but are still appropriate for a wide age range. Reading the books with your children (or having them read alone and following up) can help provide a framework for a discussion about your family's expectations regarding pornography. Both the original and the guide for girls show most of the discussions being led by the mother, but also have the father in the story offer perspective and support, showing that this discussion doesn't need to be the responsibility of only one parent.

I had a chance to learn more in this author interview.

What was the inspiration behind writing Good Pictures Bad Pictures and the read-aloud book specifically for girls?

I wrote the original Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids after hearing the tragic story of a family whose 17 year-old son was sexually molesting his younger brothers and sisters - from the 14 year-old down to the 4 year-old - and pornography played a big part. At the time, I went looking for a simple, age-appropriate read-aloud resource that would help parents explain what pornography is, why it’s harmful, and what kids should do if they see it. I couldn’t find anything, so I wrote it myself to fill a much-needed resource gap. Through mostly word of mouth, it became a #1 bestseller on Amazon. 

After publishing my first book, parents began requesting a resource for younger children. I wrote Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr.: A Simple Plan to Protect Young Minds for kids ages 3 to 7. It also achieved #1 bestseller status on Amazon and kids love looking for the 19 hidden cameras. 

The Good Pictures Bad Pictures Guide for Girls: How I Stay Safe, Smart & Confident came later because so many parents began asking for it. Girls face unique pressures around body image, objectification, relationships, social media, and toxic messages in popular culture. Like all the Good Pictures Bad Pictures books, it gives parents a warm, structured way to begin these protective conversations at home.

Why do adults often overlook the numbers of girls who are exposed to or seeking out pornography?

Many adults still believe pornography is mostly a “boy problem.” That cultural myth leaves girls more vulnerable because parents may not realize their daughters can be curious, exposed, targeted, or pulled in. Girls may encounter pornography in ways adults don’t always recognize: social media, music apps, YouTube, anime, erotic stories, romance content, or fan fiction sites. See our many articles for helping girls on DefendYoungMinds.com

Of course parents often want to preserve a daughter’s innocence, and they believe avoiding the conversation is the answer. But silence doesn’t protect innocence. It can leave girls unprepared for what they may see online or hear from peers. At Defend Young Minds, we encourage parents to be proactive by giving kids three things: an age-appropriate definition, a clear warning, and a practical plan. Girls need the same protection boys need, along with specific help to reject objectification, avoid addiction, protect their bodies, and build a healthy self-image. My new book for girls empowers girls to grow up with good mental health and physical safety in a challenging world. 

If parents and caregivers find out that their children have viewed pornography, how can they discuss its dangers without creating additional shame?

The first step is to stay calm. A child’s exposure to pornography is not the time for panic, punishment, or disgust. Parents need to protect the relationship so the child feels safe telling the truth. I encourage parents to respond with warmth and clarity: “Thank you for telling me. You’re not in trouble. I’m so glad I can help you.”

Then explain the danger in a matter-of-fact way. Children are naturally curious, and their bodies and brains may react to sexual images. That doesn’t make them bad. Pornography is harmful because it can hijack curiosity, teach toxic sexual scripts and objectification, and become addictive. When we explain how the brain reacts, we reduce shame and secrecy.

For step-by-step help, Defend Young Minds created the guide My Kid Saw Porn! Now What? It helps parents respond with a calm, protective plan that preserves trust while helping their child move forward.

How can adults start the conversation about porn in age-appropriate ways before their kids have been exposed?

Parents don’t need to wait for “the sex talk” to begin warning children about pornography. The best time to start is as soon as a child has any access to the internet, because exposure can happen accidentally through phones, tablets, gaming systems, social media, music apps, ads, or another child’s device. Our Jr. book and the free companion play guide is perfect for getting started. 

With young children, keep it simple. Start with the idea that there are good pictures and bad pictures. Good pictures help us remember people, places, and things we love. Bad pictures show private parts of the body or people acting in ways that are not safe, respectful, or healthy. Then give children three things: an age-appropriate definition, a warning that pornography can hurt their minds and hearts, and a plan for what to do.

The Good Pictures Bad Pictures read-aloud books make these conversations much easier. Parents can also find practical articles, guides, and conversation tools at Defend Young Minds and follow us on Instagram and Facebook for ongoing tips.