Book Nook - The Boy with the Butterfly Mind

 The Boy with the Butterfly Mind (August 11, She Writes Press) by Lorelei Brush is an illuminating new novel that explores the realities many families face but rarely talk about: raising a neurodivergent child while navigating rigid school systems, depression, and the stigma surrounding mental health labels.

Julie Crawford is a high school math teacher who excels at solving problems—until her four-year-old son is suspected of having ADHD and gets kicked out of preschool. With no safe childcare options available, a husband struggling to cope with depression, and a supervisor losing patience with her absences, Julie is forced to confront a problem that logic alone can’t fix.

At its heart, The Boy with the Butterfly Mind is about a mother pushed to her breaking point. As Julie struggles to navigate systems that aren’t built to support neurodivergent children or their families, she must face her own blind spots, family dynamics, and learn how to trust her instincts when it comes to deciding on the best next steps for her son.

I had a chance to learn more in this author interview.

What inspired you to write this book?

I have a son with ADHD, and he serves as my continuing inspiration. In the 1970s, I taught child development courses at Wesleyan University. They barely touched upon the topic of “disabilities,” centering on the development of the children that we now call “neurotypical.” I even had a wonderfully curious student doing a senior thesis on children with disabilities, but rather than immerse myself in the subject, I read what she wrote, discussed issues with her writing, and let her manage the content. It wasn’t until I had a child with neurodivergence that I rued not taking that early opportunity to learn more.

In trying to define my son’s strengths and sort out why and how he was not “typical,” I ran into all sorts of roadblocks. Relatives and friends all had opinions about what was wrong and regularly shared those with me. Sometimes I just got reactions like, “You need to discipline him more,” as though it’s possible to teach a wiggly four-year-old to sit still. Even when he was professionally diagnosed, I learned names for his issues and therapists I could take him to see but little about what else I could do as a parent. When I participated in school meetings to set up Individualized Education Plans, the meetings felt adversarial. And when the school didn’t live up to its commitments, I felt alone and stuck. 

What I wanted was a support team that included my family, therapists, and school staff. Maybe neighbors, relatives, and friends. I needed recognition that we had a family system that had to be fully involved if we were going to make a difference for our son. We had to accept that his neurodivergence was genetic and face our own neurodivergence. Only when the family dealt together with the issues could real progress be made.

So, the book’s inspiration came from my own situation, spurred by wanting so much to feel capable of being the best possible parent for my son. I started the story with a tough family situation facing a childcare crisis—the four-year-old kicked out of preschool—and wrote from my heart what likely happened thereafter, ensuring that the ending was an optimistic one.

Can you share a little bit about the title?

When I picture a butterfly, I see a colorful, graceful being flitting from flower to flower, testing the appeal of each until finally landing on one with plenty of sustenance. Children with ADHD are like that butterfly in having wide areas of interest, flitting perhaps from toy to toy until finally landing on something that may engage their interest to the exclusion of all else. They tend to hear a symphony, to see and test hundreds of interesting plants/toys/movements, and to hyperfocus from time to time on one thing and not even hear a mother’s call to dinner. The butterfly image conjures up the beauty of a child and also the potentially annoying behaviors of impulsivity, inattention to what an adult wants, hyperactivity in movement, and dislike of transitions.

Why will this book resonate with parents of neurodivergent children?

The Boy with the Butterfly Mind paints a recognizable picture of a family with neurodivergence. Parents of children with neurodivergence will see their own struggles to get the child up in the morning and out the door on time, to have just one family activity that doesn’t end in a meltdown, and to deal with relatives telling them how to raise their child properly. These parents know well how hard they are working for the benefit of their children, and the book gives them credit and pushes them to find a team that will listen to and support them in their efforts. In the end, the book shows that their hard work in understanding and guiding their child can lead to inspiring results.

What makes this book a good read for all parents and caregivers?

The statistics show that about a quarter of all children have some form of neurodivergence. What that number says to me is that all of us know and interact with children—and adults—with neurodivergence and can benefit from understanding more thoroughly what it feels like to be in that sort of family. Perhaps also, from this understanding, we’ll all be more interested in and better able to support those families.

I’m especially interested in reaching caregivers, teachers, therapists and those in training for the helping professions. We, too, are caregivers for these families. This book is a potential case study: what got in the way of this family moving forward? Is the diagnosis of the child appropriate and sufficient? What else would you suggest be investigated? What sort of diagnoses might be indicated for other members of the family? Do you approve of the sorts of therapies suggested and tried? What else would be appropriate?

That is, I believe this book can provoke lots of good discussions resulting in creative and effective options for all of us to both recognize the strengths of our children and address the many different needs there are among them.

Lorelei Brush is a college mathematics major, a former assistant professor of child development, and the parent of a neurodivergent child. The story in The Boy with the Butterfly Mind mixes elements of all three life experiences to describe the struggles and triumph of a young family dealing with neurodivergence. Her previous novels include Uncovering, about the trials of a nurse practitioner in northwest Pakistan, and Chasing the American Dream, about the quest of a disappointed WWII spy to be a hero in 1950s Cleveland. Lorelei and her husband live in Falls Church, Virginia, with a bossy gray cat named Marabelle.