International research on
infants has shown that 64 weeks after due date, or at roughly 15 months,
a baby’s brain makes a gigantic leap forward. Babyhood is over and life
as a toddler begins. This leap is significant as it is the basis for
the person your child has the potential to become as s/he grows.
According to Frans Plooij, Ph.D., author of the international bestseller The Wonder Weeks and
one of the world’s top specialists in infant/child development and
parent-baby interactions, in order to make toddlerhood easier for both
parent and child, parents need to understand what’s happening in their
child’s brain and embrace what he is going through. By understanding
what is going on in the brain at the age of 64 weeks (ninth mental leap)
and 75 weeks (tenth and last mental leap in infancy), you can moderate
the behavior of your “teenaging toddler” and help him navigate this
period of development.
This stage, including the
supposed “terrible twos” is cause for celebration, says Dr. Plooij, and
needs to be approached as such. In the years since the publication of
his original book, Dr. Plooij continued to research the developmental
leaps in infants together with numerous national and international
experts. The results are found in The Wonder Weeks,
which explores how the ninth and tenth are key leaps to form the basis
of a well-educated child in cleverness and in well-raised person.
These leaps are tremendous as
it is during this time that a child begins to learn about – and set –
values and norms that will carry him through life. This period, which
Dr. Plooij refers to as “teenaging toddlers” is similar to a first
adolescence.
“Temper tantrums, manipulation
and a healthy ego are all part of a baby’s sense of self as they enter
toddler-hood,” according to Dr. Plooij. “Much like a teenager, a
toddler will pout, push buttons and challenge to norm in order to get
his way.” For both the toddler and the teenager, it amounts to learning
how to assert himself and separate himself from everyone around him.
For the first time, a child
understands he is a different person than mommy and his family is a
different family than another family. Once he comprehends these
differences, he learns to “play” with them. How? By tempting the rules
and even acting out. At this age in development, the now-toddler has
figured out how to push the right buttons until he gets what he wants.
According to Dr. Plooij, and the premise of his research, this doesn’t have to be a dreadful time between parent and child if the
parent is prepared. “If you know what is going on in your child’s
brain,” he says, “you know what you can demand from him. If you don’t
know this you ask too little, giving no challenge to the child and
allowing him to “be the boss,” or you demand too much, which can be
frustrating for the child because he is simply not able to meet the too
high standards. So the key is to ask that what they can handle, no more,
no less, and setting reachable – but still challenging – goals.”
“Your toddler is now learning
to be himself in a group,” he continues, “and all the nagging and temper
tantrums are just his way of saying ‘Hey, Mom, give me some guidance
here!’”
A child doesn’t need to act so “terrible,” as long as you know what to
do and, more important: why he is acting this way. By understanding
these leaps you can make the transition into toddlerhood, and the
subsequent stages including the “terrible two’s,” into the “tremendous
two’s” and beyond.
“Tremendous,” says Dr. Plooij, “because it is with
these leaps that a huge part of socialization is set for life. And
tremendous: because good values and norms start now. If you invest in
your toddler in this time, it will pay off for lifetime and especially
in puberty.”
Based on extensive scientific research, The Wonder Weeks describes
in easy-to-understand terms the 10 major leaps in their mental
development that all babies go through during their first 20 months.
Each leap affects not only their mood, but also their health,
intelligence, sleeping patterns and the “three C’s” — Crying, Clinging
and Crankiness.
Using
the book as a guide, parents can be better prepared – often within a
week or two – when to expect the difficult behavior that marks a new
change in their baby’s mental development. The Wonder Weeks provides:
- A phase-by-phase guide to baby’s behavior
- An explanation of the markers for the “three C’s” and how to react
- Fun games and gentle activities parents can do with their baby to guide them through their “leap”
- A description of the baby’s perspective on the world around him and how it can help parents understand the changes he’s going through
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