1. What are some of the important "soft skills" young
people need to develop?
I define soft skills as “a
collection of abilities, behaviors, and attitudes that increase your
effectiveness.” Soft skills are critical to workplace success, yet employers
commonly point to a lack of soft skills in new hires. Although the context and expectations differ,
many skills deemed important by employers also are valuable in the home, grade
school, high school, and college. Below
are important soft skills that parents should seek to develop in their
children.
Positive attitude
The ability to maintain a
positive attitude is a very important soft skill for your children. A positive attitude is foundational to the
other soft skills listed below. A
positive attitude provides the motivation needed to work hard, bounce back from
setbacks, and to keep going when others give up.
Work ethic
A strong work ethic is another
critical skill for your children to develop.
By instilling a strong work ethic in your children, you give them a
skill that allows them to perform at the level of the ability rather than at
the level of their effort. When combined
with a positive attitude, a strong work ethic can greatly contribute to your
children’s success.
Resiliency
Parents understand that
life has its ups and downs and that even successful have had some
setbacks. However, many children don’t
understand these truths. Thus, when
children encounter a setback (do not make the baseball team, receive a poor
grade, etc.), they may shrink back and think it is insurmountable. By helping your children work through the glitches
they encounter growing up, you condition them to handle the bigger setbacks
that they likely will encounter on their journey to success.
Flexibility
Flexibility here means consideration
of the opinions of others, willingness to change direction as needed, and not
always getting your own way. Encourage flexibility in your children by “taking
turns” when selecting fun activities, restaurants to visit, etc. Applaud them
when that are appropriately flexible. By
conditioning your children to see beyond their own perspective, you can equip
them to better get along with others from the playground all the way to the
board room.
Problem solving
As a parent, I certainly
want to solve problems for my daughter.
However, my daughter must develop the attitude and skill of problem
solving. The attitude of problem solving means that your children will attempt
to tackle the problems they encounter rather than expecting someone else to immediately
solve them.
A key skill of problem
solving is determining what needs fixed before trying to find a solution. Help
you children ask the right questions to define the issue they are
addressing. Then work with your children
to come up a few solutions and compare the pros and cons of each solution.
Encourage your children to work through the solution that seems best to them. Step in when needed, but remember that your
goal is to teach your children to figure things out on their own rather than to
provide all the solutions. Understand
that they make a mistake or two in the process, but mistakes often catalyze learning.
2. Why is the idea of "empowering" so critical?
Think about empowering your children in terms of helping them remove
limitations they have influence over.
One way to remove limitations to success is to develop important success
skills. Let me illustrate this concept with an example.
When I was a freshman in college, I received a
“D” in a chemistry course. I took the course again and got an “A.” I improved my grade by developing academic
success skills. I learned how to take
notes more effectively, to better prepare for tests, and I worked a lot harder
(and smarter!) I doubt that my IQ increased significantly from one semester to
the next, but my grade went from a “D” to an “A.”
Here is the point. Initially, my academic performance was
limited by poor academic skills rather than by intelligence. Once I developed the skills I needed, I seemed
“smarter” and performed at a higher level.
Furthermore, the skills I developed empowered me throughout my college
career. The “D” forced me to develop the
skills I needed to eventually earn a PhD.
As parents, you can empower your children by
helping them develop the leadership and soft skills (and academic success
skills) described above. These skills will help your children achieve what they
are capable of achieving.
3.
How can parents encourage
the development of leadership in their children?
A key step in developing your children’s
leadership ability is to create the expectation of leadership. Help your
children understand that they can be leaders, even if they don’t have a formal
leadership position. Talk to your children about leadership, and show them
every-day examples of leadership in your home, school, or community. Encourage
and compliment their participation in leadership activities such as “line
leader” in grade school, team captain, or student council officer.
Cary J. Green, PhD is the author of "Leadership and Soft Skills for
Students: Empowered to Succeed in High School, College, and Beyond." Green has been an educator and mentor
to young people for more than twenty years, and he held academic leadership
positions for more than ten years. Now a full-time author, speaker, and
academic/life-skills coach, Green is pursuing his true professional passion of
mentoring young people on the development of leadership and soft skills that
empower them to succeed. For more information, visit www.leadershipandsoftskills.com.
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