Twelve
years ago a 45-year old PTA stay-at-home mom of two lost her day
planner. It was a change that fueled an incredible journey of drive and
self-discovery as she decided to follow her dreams resulting in a
midlife mom turned astronaut.
MJ
Marggraff is a San Francisco woman who decided to pursue her childhood
passion late in life, and learn how to fly. Now, in her early 60’s,
she’s a flight instructor, an astronaut, and an author. She’s a project
leader on an experiment headed for space this year and wrote a
new book in May, "Finding The Wow."
I had a chance to interview her to learn more.
How did you go from losing your day planner to preparing for space
flight?
Flying was a childhood dream that never left
me. I always loved airplanes and space and the stars. As a little girl I
checked out space books from the library, drew unusual planets, and watched
launches. Whenever I could, I took rides in small planes from local airfields. But
I came from a family of terrified air travelers who guided me away from the sky
and suggested I pursue more acceptable careers, like teaching and nursing. Many
of us have dreams that we pack up and leave in the attics of our childhood memories
and never visit again. I thought that had happened to mine too.
Over the years, I was in corporate
management positions and though I was successful, was not doing what I really
loved. I wondered: Even if I had the willingness, did I have the ability to
learn to be a pilot? Maybe it was too late. Maybe the parade had passed me by.
When our children were 5 and 3 years
old, we moved from Massachusetts to California. I left my corporate work while
my husband Jim pursued his new inventions, stayed at home with my children, and
maintained an active, full, and busy schedule. I’d cross off each thing I’d
done each day with a bold stroke of the pen and with relish—done—yes! Another
thing! Done. But, was it enough to be busy? It was more of an ‘addiction’ to
busy-ness: car pools and after school sports and dance classes and PTA
meetings.
Then one day I awoke to discover
that I’d lost my pen and paper planner. I was terrified. After all, it defined
what I did, when, and with whom. It defined who I was. Mine had a full schedule
of things for me to do. What was on it that I hadn’t checked-off? On the other
hand, it was also an empty schedule too, because there was not much inside it
with gusto—for me.
I picked up a fresh, new, clean
planner; thumbed through it—a blank slate. I could refill it with the same
routine. Or—I could rewrite it with a dream. Could I keep the essential family
stuff going and add an essential activity of my own? I was terrified to even
consider it. I was 45. What kind of mom goes to flight school? Come on. After
much hesitation, I finally enrolled.
At first just getting the initial
pilot’s license was enough to satisfy my new life, just that one. But at that
time, in 2003, suborbital space flight tests had begun. It was announced that
one day civilian astronauts will go to the edge of space and see what only
astronauts have seen, the Earth and its pale blue halo against an inky sky filled
with stars. That resonated with me, like cosmic poetry worth seeing. Maybe I
could be a “near Earth” suborbital civilian astronaut.
One pilot’s license was not enough.
After eight years as a part-time flyer and a full-time mom, I earned five
licenses, including that of flight instructor. Soon after starting to teach,
another door opened. I became a mission support representative to a space agent
for Virgin Galactic, trained on a simulator for suborbital flights, and when
the flights are ready, will one day go to the edge of space.
What surprised you the most as
you reached for your dream?
I
was constantly surprised by new experiences. What I wondered the most was how
it could be possible to fly solo, to have the controls of an airplane fully
mine to manage. But then, I’d been learning how to be a mom each day too,
day-by-day. It’s really just that with
anything; taking small steps and not giving up.
Prior
to learning to fly, I thought all pilots were born with the right stuff, knew
they had it in them, and just went for it! But I was very motivated and willing
to learn about everything: the airplane, the sky, the weather, the rules and
the thousand other connections. The more I learned, the more I grew into the
new requirements to be a pilot. I didn’t know I was capable of expanding to
such a great extent, and at midlife too.
What was the
biggest hurdle you had to overcome?
The
biggest hurdle was to break the habit of fear. I was afraid of negative outcomes:
What if I don’t get it? What if I something breaks? What if … I was certain that loss would come about and
would certainly far out-weigh the slim chance of the gain from something good. Fear
was the biggest hurdle to what I wanted to do, and would have made me quit
before I got started. When I found out how to fight back, I learned the biggest
lesson in my life. I found out that what I feared was what I didn’t know. What
was holding me back was my reaction to the unknown, and everything is initially
unknown. So I learned everything I could for each lesson and each flight. The
more I learned, the less afraid I became. Breaking out from under fear’s grip
has shown me what it really means to live, and to do what I love. It is also a
very powerful feeling.
Still
today, I keep a little fear with me when I fly. A little fear keeps me on my
guard so I stay aware of what might happen. A little fear keeps me humble. The
sky can be glorious and I have learned that it is also a tough teacher.
Why is important
for us to find our "wow?"
The
“wow” is doing what has meaning and purpose for you. It is living and
experiencing the intense joy that comes when you do what you love. Midlife, an
age I once thought was a time to turn away, turn down, and lock the door to old
dreams that hadn’t been claimed by then, has become a time for my 2nd Act. It can be yours too.
Dare
to dream, and dream big. Live the life you always imagined and amazing new
paths open. Paying it forward is now my focus. As creator of a breakthrough
experiment, I work with a company with a leading edge technology for space and
lead a team of innovative students who are making the first new products for
space. That project, Space Games, is on the International Space Station today and
will be conducted by the astronauts in the months ahead. Space Games, in a test phase, may open doors to many other
students who may one day make new structures for the Moon and Mars. It’s very
exciting for us all who are building a path to our future in space.
I
am most grateful
to a lost planner. It had done more than disappeared. It dared me to take a
major course correction that changed my life completely, and is changing the
lives of others too.
Available through
Amazon books.
(Amazon #1 New Release.) www.findingthewow.com
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