Parenting Pointers: Supporting Adoption

As humans, we all have family: Whether it is the one we were born into, or the one we create for ourselves.

In his novel “The Frayed Ribbon,” author R. W. Hart tells the heartwarming story of a woman, Gail, and child, Lexie, who meet by chance in a hospital and later spend many years searching for each other after their separation. Through his novel, Hart hopes to emphasize the importance of family, as well as child adoption, having been exposed first-hand to adoption and its emotions through the experiences of his friends and family.

“Before being close to the adoption side of life, I never knew just how many people’s lives were touched by adoption,” Hart said. “I wanted to share these emotions through the stories of Gail and Lexie, who had both been adopted as children, and remind others about all the positive outcomes adoption can bring.”

 

I had a chance to interview R.W. Hart to learn more.

 

Q: What was your inspiration for this novel?
A: My inspiration for the novel was a series of events involving family and friends. A close personal friend had given a child up for adoption and then was reunited with this child years later. I observed and experienced the joy of this occasion and wanted to share these feelings with others.

Q: How have you been affected by adoption?
A: There are many ways that adoption has affected me.
I feel that my life is more full because of the wonderful people adoption has brought into my life that otherwise may have remained strangers to me.
I used to be indifferent towards adoption thinking that once the ink was dry on the papers it was a done deal. I never thought of the emotional attachment that remained after the child is with the new family, and how even though these emotions may be buried deep inside, they never go away. This insight and understanding has increased my appreciation for my family and friends.

Q: What are some of the benefits that you have noticed?
A: I have seen the joy a child given up for adoption brings to the lives of loving couples desiring to grow their family, but are unable to have children of their own.
Children born in difficult circumstances have an opportunity to have their situations in life improved. Friends of mine have adopted children from orphanages in other countries to give them a chance at a better life. In spite of the difficulties of the process dealing with other governments to make it happen, the joy they feel would make them consider doing it again.

Q: How can people learn about adoption and supporting adoptive families?
A: We are fortunate to live in a time where information is so readily available from so many sources. A good place to start would be to contact agencies dealing with adoption to learn the process and expectations.
If you are fortunate enough to know families who have adopted, speak with them to gather insight into the undertaking. Otherwise there are numerous support groups both local and on-line that can help.
As I have found in my own experiences, being more understanding and less judgemental about adoption goes a long way to being supportive of adoptive families, and to those whose difficult decision and circumstance made the adoption possible.