The legend states that Valentine was arrested and put to death by Emperor Claudius II. Valentine was defying orders and secretly helping soldiers to marry. But why would Claudius II not want his soldiers to marry?
Here’s where the neuroscience comes in. It turns out that when a man marries, his testosterone drops. So, Claudius’ decree against marriage makes biological sense. If you want an aggressive army that will fight your battles, it’s better to have single, highly testosterone-fortified men.
Think that’s crazy? It turns out that lower testosterone is not the only crazy thing that happens to us when we fall in love.
In a dramatic presentation, Love Biologist Dawn Maslar cuts up a brain to show what love does to us. When we fall in love, this is what can happen to our brain:
- We can lose cognitive ability
- We can lose the ability to accurately judge our partner – that’s why they say ‘love is blind’
- We can lose the ability to feel concern if we detect a problem
- We can experience an increase in self-transcendence – being in love makes us feel less selfish and more connected to the world
In addition:
- Our serotonin (hormone of happiness) can fall to the level of someone with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)
- His testosterone drops but hers goes up – making her sexually charged
- This effect is temporary – lasting between 1 and 3 years
Don’t worry, while the craziness is temporary, the love CAN last a lifetime. In fact, Valentine’s Day helps since the following can also kick-in:
- Red hearts, cards and clothes boost his testosterone which can increase the romance
- Giving chocolate on Valentine’s Day can boost dopamine – an important neurotransmitter of long-term love
- Doing new and novel things with a partner can also boost dopamine
- Spending quality time together increases oxytocin - the bonding hormone
I interviewed Dawn to learn more.
Valentine's Day is sort of an arbitrary day, but is there science behind the effects having a holiday set aside to celebrate love?
Absolutely, the research shows that everyday stresses can erode the connects in the brain to love. When we take the time to refocus, it strengthens the neural connections to love. Researchers have found that long-term love appears to share connects with empathy and compassion. Focusing on love, trust and compassion allstrengthen those connections. And, the release of oxytocin helps restrengthen the bond between two people.
What happens in our brains when we fall in love?
When we fall in love we see a neural deactivation in parts of our brain such as the ventromedial prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that judges the other person. That's why they say love is blind. We also see a deactivation of the amygdala, the brain's alarm system. That's why for a time, your love can do no wrong. You may notice but without the alarm system, it doesn't register as a problem. We also see a loss of cognitive ability as parts of your prefrontal cortex deactivates. In addition part of your temporal and parietal lobes deactivate. Its part of the brain concern with self. You temporarily loss yourself. You experience a feeling of transcendence.
In addition to the deactivation we see changes in your neurotransmitters. Your serotonin drops to the level of someone with OCD - obsessive compulsive disorder. That's why you feel so obsessed when you fall in love. Your oxytocin increases, making you feel bonded. His testosterone drops, making him only have eyes for her. And, her testosterone increases making her quite amorous.
All of this crazy stuff last between one and two years.
How do the effects differ from new love to a longer relationship?
After the craziness of falling in love wares off, you get your brain back. You start to notice things about your beloved you didn't notice before. And, that euphoric feeling goes away.
But, don't worry, now love changes into a deeper, warmer, more nurturing love. Love moves in your brain and shares connections with empathy, unconditional love, morals and compassion. It's a richer love. We see an activation of the opioid receptors that gives a pain relieving effect. Long-term love helps you to feel safe, grounded and helps you live longer.
As you move in love, it can move from a roaring flame into smoldering coals. But, the research found its your focus that makes the difference. If you focus on stress and problems, love fades, but if you focus on love it grows. That's why it's important to take a day like Valentine's day to turn your attention to love.
To see Dawn Maslar in action, please visit: https://www.abcactionnews.com/morning-blend/science-of-love-in-time-for-valentines-day
Dawn Maslar, MS, is an award-winning author, expert guest speaker, adjunct biology professor, and researcher in the science of love. She is a two-time TEDx speaker and her talk on ‘How Your Brain Falls in Love’ went viral last year: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyq2Wo4eUDg
Available at all online outlets
Men Chase, Women Choose: The Neuroscience of Meeting, Dating, Losing Your Mind, and Finding True Love
Publisher: HCI Books
ASIN: B01LVYO27A
No comments:
Post a Comment