Society is overwhelmed by the pressures of today. The measuring sticks that tell us what we "need to be” are destroying us, yet still we try to live by them. Dr. Kristen Lee believes the old catchphrase "Fake it 'til you make it” no longer applies and instead we need to create a culture that reflects a "We” is better than "Me” attitude. Based on years of clinical practice and research, Dr. Lee's new book, MENTALLIGENCE: A New Psychology of Thinking, helps us cultivate a new mindset and behaviors that include this way of thinking and behaving ―regardless of what's going on around us―so we may move forward to live "The Good Life.”
I had a chance to review the book, and I enjoyed the read. It's an inspiring book, and encourages cooperation and mutual encouragement.
I had a chance to interview Dr. Lee to learn more.
Why did you decide to write this book? I had just completed a massive study about success with my graduate students that I knew I had to share—especially at a time when there is so much fighting, stress and negative mindsets baiting us to be filled with fear and anxiety. I wanted to help spur on better thinking and ways of living across the world. So often, people are stuck and can’t find their way out of mindless behaviors that leave us short-sighted. At the time, my research and work was challenging me—I felt I was falling into airbrushing and hiding my own perfectionistic tendencies as a parent and professional. I woke up and knew I needed to undergo a full out soul excavation and stop compartmentalizing my mind, body and soul.
How does an attitude shift help lead people into "the good life?" The Good Life is defined by positive psychologists as one characterized by flourishing, in which we are connected and living in ways that help us truly thrive. When we adjust our thinking we can change our lives. Modern brain science proves this time and time again. Getting to the good live means examining our belief systems, including biases, groupthink, deficit and all-or-nothing thinking so that we can unlearn them and move towards agile, mindful and connected living that comes from finding common ground and integrating many lenses into our lives that help us see better and engage with the world as conscious global citizens.
What makes it so powerful, not just for the individual, but for those around them? Once we deal with our own challenges, we become better equipped with the empathy and know-how to help each other. In my book I call this “collective efficacy”—the idea that we do well when we all do well; when you hurt, I hurt, and when you are on track, so am I. It builds on theories in social psychology that need to be updated in today’s modern context, where change is the only constant and many of us are saturated in stress and anxiety—often coming from the many directions we are pulled by “puppet strings”—held by our parents, kids, bosses, and societies who tell us that if we aren’t hyper-performing and faking it ‘til we make it, we’re not good enough. For parents, the expectations have gotten totally out of control--there are more parenting styles than cereal choices, and we are expected to run around 24-7 reaching for all the opportunities of today that can end up leaving us totally burnt out. My research shows that when we move away from performance obsession and pivot towards living an impact-driven life, we then are capable of launching “upward spirals” in our life that help us all get to a better place, together. I’ve seen a ton of evidence of this in my 22+ years of clinical practice as well.
Dr. Kristen Lee, EdD, LICSW, is a recovering perfectionist and clinician, researcher, educator and activist with twenty-two years of experience. She is lead faculty for Behavioral Science at Northeastern University in Boston and author of Indie Book Award's 2015 Motivational Book of the Year, Reset: Make the Most of Your Stress. To learn more follow on social media (Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat).
No comments:
Post a Comment