It's the time of year when students are heading to college and empty nesters are dealing with a range of emotions and quiet homes. Attorney, radio host, and author Maria Leonard Olsen, author of 50 After 50: Reframing the Next Chapter of Your Life has sage advice for first time empty nesters.
"There is an element of grief most parents experience when they become empty-nesters. For some, it feels as if quiet has blanketed the house. Others may forlornly glance into their child's bedroom and wonder what he or she may be doing at that moment. An emptiness tugs. Our time is no longer governed by our children's schedules. It's your time, even more so now that the kids are launched. It's up to you what you do with it."
As featured in the Boston Globe, Maria's new book explores how turning 50 and becoming an empty nester was a reckoning point for her life, and how it can be a happy revelation.
I had a chance to interview her to learn more.
Why did you decide to write this book?
At age 50, I became divorced, sober and an empty nester. I felt rudderless, and knew I had to change my life. As I turned 50, a friend suggested that I try 50 new things in my 50th year. As a lifelong dilettante, it sounded like a great idea.
Why does becoming an empty nester bring both grief and joy?
It brings grief because it is the end of a chapter in parenting. You are launching your child into the world. At the same time, we may take pride in our children's abilities and opportunities. We may even feel pride in equipping our children to leave the nest and being confident that they are ready.
How can people prepare for the empty nest phase?
I believe one should not put all of their eggs in the motherhood basket. One must maintain their sense of selves and outside interests so that they are not without direction or joy from which to draw when their children leave the nest. Investigating what job opportunities might be available and considering how one would like to spend their time once their children leave is a good way to prepare for this stage in life.
Maria Leonard Olsen graduated from Boston College and the University of Virginia School of Law. She is an attorney, radio talk show host of the Washington, D.C. show “Inside Out,” writing and women's empowerment retreat instructor, editor, and public speaker on diversity issues and living a life authentic to one's values. Her work has been published by The Washington Post, Washingtonian Magazine, Bethesda Magazine, among others. She also served in the Clinton Justice Department prior to having children, and recently returned to practicing law now that she is an empty-nester.
Olsen is the author of four books, including the children’s books Mommy, Why's Your Skin So Brown? and Healing for Hallie, and the non-fiction titles Not the Cleaver Family--The New Normal in Modern American Families and her newest book, 50 After 50: Reframing the Next Chapter of Your Life.
Learn more at marialeonardolsen.com, and connect with Olsen on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.
50 After 50: Reframing the Next Chapter of Your Life (Rowman & Littlefield, June 2018) is available via Amazon and at booksellers nationwide.
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