Friday, October 5, 2018

I Married for Love and Got A Lot of Hate

By Candace N Ford 

 In 2007, I married the man of my dreams. He had never been married, no children, he was an only child and God-Fearing! 

 I loved him from day one but didn’t know why, especially since I thought he was already taken. He was a pastor of a mid-sized church in Chicago and because I never saw myself being a pastor’s wife, I never really cared about his position, I only cared about how he treated his mother, and did he like to travel, had he lived or was he just existing. I only cared if my parents would like him, primarily my Daddy, and I wanted more than anything for him to love my four-year-old son as though he was his own. 

 Well I got all of that and more. I got his love and the love of his mother, but the hate of his church members. It appeared I was not who they wanted for their pastor. I had my own thoughts, I could not be manipulated, I was a single mother, I was not second or third generation minister. I didn’t know anything about the “hay day” of their 60-year-old ministry, nor did I care. I just wanted to submit and love this man as a man, not as their pastor. 

 So, from day one I felt like an outsider in a place where God dwelled, but flesh was greater. I wanted so much to “belong” to this tribe but I knew in the end I was to help my husband be the best man he could be in the earth as a husband, father and then spiritual leader. Yes, I must admit I changed some things, no they could not call him all times of day and night. No, he was not going to the back alley to save your grandson from the drug dealer and no he was not taking money from our home to pay your bills because you mismanaged your pay. Yes, I changed some things, but once again for the benefit of my husband and our family. 

 I guess in hindsight the experience was truly to grow me up. Through this time, I wondered was I going to walk in the love of God that I myself had preached to others or would I stoop to their level and hurt God’s heart? Would I show mercy for those who were adamantly against me and who I was in the Kingdom of God? Moreover, would I turn my face to the right after they’d smacked the left? No don’t get me wrong there were some members who supported my husband and I in the beginning, but after awhile they were swayed by the naysayers, causing me to feel rejected. Yet, I still stayed focused to the day came that they all went to cause havoc in someone else’s church and my husband and I were able to build our family, business and ministry together as one. 

 I no longer consider myself a pastor’s wife, a first lady, or whatever it’s called these days. I’m simply, C. Kevin Ford’s wife and I’m honored and humbled to be just that.

 Candace N. Ford’s The Agitated Agenda is the first book in this contemporary new adult series about what happens when Priscilla Richardson had her life fully planned and figured out. There would be no interruptions and no delays. Her agenda would not be agitated… or so she thought. After working against all odds to finish law school and get hired at a high-powered law firm, what’s a beautiful and brilliant attorney to do when her plans for success are disrupted by a handsome colleague and unexpected and unexplainable spiritual messages?
Posted by at

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)