The College Admissions Scandal isn't leaving the headlines anytime soon. What else isn't leaving: the doubt in college-hopeful, high school seniors who are still anticipating their acceptance letters. They're left wondering if they're actually good enough to get into their dream school, or if there's someone out there with worse intentions and better connections that will get ahead of them.
All the while, "As disappointed as our kids will be when they reach into their mailboxes, or open up emails and come up shortchanged, we must look inside ourselves and ask as parents, are WE more taken aback, or them? " asks Crossed Up author ML Rosynek. In her debut book, Rosynek covers the importance of letting kids being kids through playing sports and creating life-long memories, but as a single mother knows all too well the emotional rollercoaster her children ride when they're under stress.
I had a chance to interview Rosynek to learn more.
Why is it important for parents to be supportive of decisions about post-high school plans, even if they don't agree with them?
As difficult as this scenario might seem, “Why does our straight A student want to major in the Arts instead of Pre-Med?” We must allow our kids to be in charge of their future paths. If we have given our kids an opportunity to participate in their decision making with us as they’ve grown up, we can be confident that they have already begun to learn what their particular path to future happiness might look like. If we are asked for advice, absolutely give it, within reason. Just as our young adult children are learning to become independent from us, we are learning to have to “let go” of them. The reassuring thing is that even with a few mistakes made along their journey, we know they have been given the essential tools needed to pick themselves right back up.
How can parents be sure to see the whole picture about their children, not just grades?
Any parent with more than one child has learned that just as uniquely different our kids are from one another, despite similar DNA, their interests, strengths and weaknesses are different, as well. Each and every one of us are our own person. Yes, grades are very important but so are life experiences. This is the one chapter in their lives where we have the amazing opportunity to help our children to
become well rounded, productive, and socially aware. Encourage the test studying while also applauding the invaluable experience of volunteerism, and trying new things. If college is the direction your student is aiming for, the final SAT scores are only a fraction of what ultimately makes for the ideal candidate, even better, a productive citizen.
What can parents do to simultaneously manage their own frustrations and support their children during college applications?
Going through the college admissions process is one of the most challenging things parents and kids will undertake together. There are so many different aspects to delve into while trying to find what seems like the best fit for their next four years. After examining the obvious questions regarding locations, academic realities, finances, etc…there is the waiting game. If possible, try to remember
that this just might be the most stressful experience that your child has ever gone through and that they need us now more than ever. Even if it means an extra yoga class or glass of wine with a friend, try keeping your own personal stress hidden from their eyes. Be the “rock”, the security blanket, the wave of calmness that is needed as your 18-year-old is slowly beginning to venture out into adulthood. No matter what they may say, they really want their parent.
Why is it so important to embrace moments that make a kid a kid before college?
The High School years fly by and Senior year goes by even faster. Your son, who used to worry about early football practices, will soon have plenty of more stressful things that will consume his thoughts. Why rush it? As your young adult frets about a science project that they feel will determine their entire future, try taking him back down a notch. Instead, perhaps suggest placing the project aside
for a couple of hours. Grab a bite to eat or catch a fun movie. Nothing should be life or death at this stage of the game. How all of us secretly miss seeing so many friends in the hallways or Friday night events where we dressed up hoping to catch the eye of our latest crush. We can’t go back in time, but we can make an effort to help our kids enjoy their current here and now. Priceless!
ML Rosynek serves as the news director of JAM Broadcasting in Kerrville, TX, and
is a single mother of three teenaged boys. Her first book, Crossed Up, is available
now on Amazon.
No comments:
Post a Comment