Friday, November 8, 2019

Book Nook: Big Bad Bully

Words have power. The words others say to us can either lift us as high as the clouds, or drop us down like a crashing plane. But what about the words we tell ourselves? What about that constantly running inner voice? In truth, what we say to ourselves impacts us even more than what others say to us.

"Pigtails are for babies!" she snarled at me. Her words hurt more than the time I broke my arm. I quickly untied my hair. I wore my hair down for the rest of the school year.

That was the first time I met the Big Bad Bully ... She called me names like "fatty," "piglet" and "ugly." Things are worse now that I am in the 6th grade. Even when I don't see her, I can always hear the whispers, the giggles, and the growls.

So goes the mesmerizing story of a young girl who grows up with a voice that ridicules and demeans her. In the end, we discover that her tormentor is staring back at her every day in the mirror.

Featuring stunning artwork--and small enough to fit in a backpack--Big Bad Bully is a tool for engaging children, young adolescents, parents, and caring adults about the impressions they make on themselves with their thoughts and self-talk. Included are powerful workbook exercises and resources for implementing healthy self-esteem habits that can last a lifetime.

I had a chance to learn more in an interview.

Why did you write this book?
I wrote this book from a personal experience I had with my daughter. She was about 12 year-old when one evening she was standing in front of a full length mirror and she was criticizing herself as she was talking to me. “Mommy, why do I have such frizzy hair? Why am I so short? Why do I have so many pimples?”. None of my responses to her where helping when out of frustration I finally said, “Stop it, you are bullying yourself!”

At that point, my daughter stopped talking and I could see in her face that what I had just said impacted her, she quietly thought about it.

We all know how bad bullying is, the thought that she was bullying herself was enough to make her stop and understand what she was doing to herself.

If my daughter was going through this, surely there would be other children and teens suffering from an internal bully.

Can you explain the title?
The title came to my because I believe there are so many of us (children and adults) dealing with the Big, Bad Bully internally.

What age group is The Big, Bad Bully for?
The book is geared for children 8-14 yr olds. That is the age when we start the internal negative self talk in a bigger way. Having said that, I have received so many comments from adults who are reading The Big, Bad Bully and related to it themselves at their current age. It’s really the book we should have had during the difficult pre-teen years but the book that is good for all ages.

Tell me about the exercises in the back and resources for parents and educators.
The first thing I got my daughter to do after I discovered she was bullying herself is a mirror exercise that had been taught to me by Jack Canfield during one of his seminars. It’s a powerful little exercise that helps change the negative self talk into a kinder self talk and has to do with standing in front of a mirror and talking to yourself about all the good things that happened during the day.

The instructions for The Mirror Exercise and a printable download can be found here:

https://miriamlaundry.com/my-daughters-bully/

The great thing about printing it off, is it’s a great reminder if you tape it to your mirror. Then you see it every day!

After the incident with my daughter I contacted Jack Canfield and asked him to co-author the book with me. He agreed and added several self-esteem building exercises at the back of the book for parents and teachers to do with children.

I believe these exercises can help children be kinder to themselves and change the inner critic into an inner coach.

About the Authors:
Jack Canfield is an award-winning speaker and an internationally recognized leader in personal development and peak performance strategies. As the co-creator of the Chicken Soup for the Soul® series, he's taught millions of individuals his formulas for success. He is the author and co-author of more than 150 books (including 66 bestsellers) with more than 100 million copies in print in 47 languages around the world. His bestselling book, The Success Principles has been hailed as the new self-improvement classic.

Miriam Laundry is a sought-after speaker at schools nationwide. She is the author of I CAN Believe in Myself, I CAN Make a Difference, and I CAN Be Me. On an average year, she visits 100 schools speaking to 50,000 children. She set a Guinness World Record on May 7, 2014 for the largest online book discussion in a 24-hour period. More than 100,000 children and adults participated in this record with the purpose of promoting positive mental health. Her books have also received numerous book awards including a Mom's Choice Award and a Readers Favorite International Award. Miriam was also awarded the 2014 Winspiration Award.

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