Saturday, February 29, 2020

Parenting Pointers: Love Works

Celebrity Love Coach Nicole Moore was recently featured at the Oscars, is a main speaker for Forbes Women and was recently on KTLA, been featured in INC, Thrive Global, Money, The Emmys, Greatest, Authority Mag, Her Agenda Magazine, Good Morning LA and more. 
She has a new Love Card Deck (which is the new hype among coaches such as herself and Gabby Bernstein), out just in time for Valentine's Day and also a program called "True Love Academy" which teaches people on HOW to date- as who's ever actually been taught?! These cards are based on the idea, taught within the Love Works Method, that Love is an energy game.
She works with celebrities, high-end Ceos, powerful and influentials to help them find their ideal partner, as well as fine-tune their relationships. Using her signature Love Works Method, she's helped thousands of people. Nicole went to NYU for her life coaching certifications.  

I had a chance to interview her about relationships.

Why do people need to be taught how to date and be in relationships?
We're simply not taught HOW to love others well, how to date or how to be in relationships.
It's like we're all just expected to know what to do and we don't so we just default to what we learned in childhood. 
The truth is, most people don't grow up with a healthy model of love and relationships.  As children, we learn how to interact in relationships based on what we see occur in our family dynamic and based on how our parents and caregivers loved us or failed to.
Most people were born to parents who were already in their own fears and faulty patterns of relating with one another and we believe as children that whatever we see growing up is just the way it is.
As adults, it's our job to unlearn the faulty dynamics and learn to relate and date a healthy way. 

What are some often overlooked strategies for maintaining healthy relationships?
1) See the other person with love.  In relationships, we often start out in love and thinking so highly of the other person but then we let fear, doubt and resentments creep in and color how we see the other.  It's a practice to actually begin to question your perceptions and notice how you're seeing the person you're in relationship with.  Simply stopping on a regular basis to ask: "am I seeing this person through the eyes of fear or through the eyes of love?" can have a massively positive impact on your relationships.  When you notice that you've let fear or resentments cloud your vision of the other person, shift your mind to what you love about them. Change your focus from judgement to compassion.  Try and soften your viewpoint. 
When we make it a practice to see our partner with love, it's way easier to maintain the love that came so easily at the start of the relationship. 
2) Having relationship agreements. One of the main things that destroys healthy relationships is that both parties are not on the same page about standards and expectations for how each person interacts within the relationship.  A relationship agreement is essentially two people getting together to decide, ahead of time, what the standards of conduct are for a relationship so both parties have a guideline to look toward.  For example, my husband and I have a relationship agreement of "no matter what, we always remember we're on the same team."  We look to this as a guiding principle during moments of conflict and it's so helpful to remember especially during a fight.  We keep this agreement at the forefront of our minds and it helps us stay connected and on the same page as a couple. 

Can you describe the Love Card Deck?
The Love Answers Oracle Card Deck is a way for those who are interested in improving their love life to get guidance on a daily basis or whenever they want to connect and go within.  Created for those who are single, those in relationships and everything in between, this 62 card deck is designed for you to sit, ask questions about your love life, use your intuition to pull cards and receive answers. 
It's somewhat like a tarot card deck for your love life but none of the cards are scary or negative. The deck comes with a 116 page booklet with a detailed description for each card and each card comes with a mantra and journal prompt to integrate the lessons from the card. 

How can parents teach their children about healthy relationships?
Children learn by example first and foremost, however they're also typically really open to learning about love and relationships because they have a natural curiosity about life.
Beginning at a young age, you can point out things that you and your partner do toward or for eachother that are loving.
Simple things like saying "mommy made coffee for daddy this morning because she loves daddy and we do nice things for the people that we love" teach children how to interact with love.
The important thing is to look at the skill of love as you would any other skill that you want to teach your child.  You teach them how to read, speak, eat and behave and it's the same thing with love.
Let them know what healthy ways of interacting in relationships are by demonstrating them and then tell the child specifically what you're doing.
When they do something that is loving or caring, praise that behavior and let them know that that's such a good way to behave in relationships.
Have family discussions and relationship agreements about how we treat eachother as a family and make sure your children are involved.
Their model of relationships will be a direct reflection of how the people in your family treat eachother.  So, decide what your family relationship agreements are and reinforce them on a regular basis.
Great ones to model are:
In this family, we always give eachother the benefit of the doubt.
In this family, we always do our best to treat eachother with kindness and respect.
In this family, we express our real emotions in a healthy way and we tell eachother how we feel. 

Nicole Moore
Empowering Strong, Independent Women To Find Love Through Loving Themselves
Youtube Videos LINK

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