Heather Servaty-Seib is a Purdue University professor who researches loss and grief experiences in both death and non-death situations. She can speak about grief as a multi-dimensional response, including emotional, social cognitive and physiological, and the unique aspects people are experiencing in their lives as a result of the pandemic.
“Losses that people may be experiencing in the face of the pandemic are wide-ranging and may include loss of community, established physical work space, routine, structure, productivity, and freedom of movement — and even more tangible losses such as income, access to resources, and planned activities or celebrations. The losses are real and the grief is real.”
I had a chance to interview her to learn more.
Why is it important for people to be aware of the fact that there are things to grieve besides death?
So often we only connect the concepts of loss and grief with death---but almost all significant life events will involve losses and also potential gains.
It is important for us to recognize and acknowledge the many losses that we are experiencing in the midst of the current pandemic because identifying those losses will allow us to make more sense of the depth of our responses. Although it may sound like I am suggesting that we burden ourselves with the recognition of losses, what I am saying is that if we can identify the full range of losses then we will likely be able to be more kind and patient with ourselves and have a much greater understanding that what we are experiencing is grief. The losses are real and the grief is real.
The more losses that each person perceives—the higher level of grief that person will experience. Grief is a multidimensional response (e.g., emotional, cognitive, physiological, social, spiritual) to all types of losses. Losses that people may be experiencing in the face of the pandemic are wide ranging and may include loss of community, established physical work space, routine, structure, productivity, and freedom of movement—and even more tangible losses such as income, access to resources, and planned activities or celebrations.
How can people process the loss of events or other things?
They can recognize the losses and allow themselves (and others) more grace. That frame of grief in and of itself can be helpful and useful and help to lift the burden a bit.
We can also be open to the possible gains in our lives right now. My hope is that we all can find the gains as well—perhaps flexibility, more time with family, opportunities for reflection, and greater appreciation for life.
Where can people find support if they aren't face to face with other people?
We know from psychologist research that human connection is critical to both mental and physical health. We need to allow for creativity in our efforts to stay connected with one another. We are fortunate to live at a time when virtual connections are possible. These connections can and will not be the same—but they can be helpful and meaningful.
Heather Servaty-Seib is professor in counseling psychology in the College of Education. She leads the university’s grief and loss research team, focusing on a variety of death and non-death loss experiences (e.g., divorce, romantic breakup, sports injury). She is also associate dean for student life in the Purdue Honors College.
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