Wednesday, May 13, 2020

Parenting Pointers: Online Counseling

This article will be the first in a four-part series about online counseling.

Right now, families are still slogging through a situation that is challenging for many, even if it does have some bright spots. The novelty has worn off, and families can be struggling with what's going on. The thing with close content for a long time is that it has a tendency to emphasize existing tensions. For example, when my husband and I were first married, we had no job, and we went from our marriage day until summer when sub jobs started coming with nothing to do, a small apartment, and no money to spend on recreation. It was probably the most tense time in our marriage, at a time when most people would have been going through the honeymoon phase.
Fortunatley we survived that time, but it was a great reminder of just how easy it is to get frustrated in close quarters. The first vacation we did with our kids and my parents also led to tensions running high at times, even though overall it was a fantastic trip.
So, if you're struggling right now, being annoyed by every little thing hat's going on in your house, you aren't alone. You might have limited ways to get a moment to yourself, or maybe are just noticing things more since you're surrounded by them more. Either way, it can create issues or amplify existing issues.
For obvious reasons, it can be difficult to find an outlet right now. If the struggles you're facing are rising to the level of needing professional help, that leaves telemedicine or online counseling. For problems in your marriage, it can be tempting to check out free marriage counseling online, but that might not be the best option for you. Sure, the cost is great, but if you aren't getting a truly qualified counselor or someone who's going to be a good fit for your situation, you're much better off paying for something that will be successful.
How can you find what will work for you? It's not going to be the same for everyone, and it can be tricky to ask for help if you're embarrassed by needing a counselor - but you shouldn't be. Even people in healthy relationships can benefit from counseling. If you don't want to ask friends for referrals, consider asking other professionals in your network - clergy, doctors, or other people with whom you already have a relationship. Perhaps you have an individual counselor that can refer you to a marriage or family counselor.
I value referrals a lot - if you get a word of mouth referral from someone, generally it's a person with whom you already have a relationship, and they won't intentionally recommend something that doesn't fit. If personal referrals don't work, there are ways to get referrals from employee networks, or by looking at websites to get a sense for their approach to counseling. 
If you find yourself in a position where you'd benefit from counseling (honestly, we all would), don't be afraid to try it out. If nothing else, you'll get a chance to get another person's ear and some input on what you're going through.

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