Book Nook: The Death of the Angry Black Woman

In light of current events, our nation is facing unprecedented challenges and fears that, as a result, has everybody in anger overload. Fortunately, pastor Jameliah Young helps readers find ways to face their anger in her book, The Death of the Angry Black Woman. I had a chance to interview Jameliah, who is an experienced keynote speaker for women’s empowerment, teen and youth mentoring, corporate America, and relationships.

· Where does the “angry black woman” term come from?
Anger is in each of us, however, the label “angry black women” has been placed upon us due to negative stereotyping and a misunderstanding of our aggressive nature as black women.

· How can women work through underlying anger that comes from a background of abuse, mistreatment, or discrimination?
It is necessary for any woman who is dealing with this type of anger to recognize those elements of both her culture and her personal life that may have caused those deeply-seeded issues. You may not know the exact root cause of your anger, and you may not even be aware of how much it affects your life and the lives of those around you, but it helps to know you are not alone, no matter your background.

Everyone has anger. Everyone needs counseling. We are all built from the fragments of our childhoods and our pasts. And this, of course, includes black women. So please, don’t label us. Instead, get to know us. A simple conversation with a woman who, on the outside, may seem angry or aggressive can clear up any confusion if you just give her a chance. People have a tendency to fear what they don’t understand, but if you make the effort and simply speak with other women, you will oftentimes find they are dealing with the same things you are, regardless of race.

· Are there times that anger can be useful?
I believe there is a time and place for everything. Anger is a reaction to pain and it can help us to heal from that pain. And sometimes anger can be a driving fuel if it is redirected into positive energy. For example, have you ever felt like you’ve simply had enough of something? That negativity my infuriate you and tempt you to seek revenge. Redirect that negative energy. Use that vengeful feeling to accelerate yourself toward greatness. You can do it. I sure did!

· If this next question sounds awkward, I’m sorry - feel free to ignore or re-word it. What can readers who aren’t black women learn from this book?
No offense at all! This is an important question.
We are all angry––black, white, brown, purple, pink, man, woman, dog, or cat––we all share that common thread. Everyone can learn from this book, I just happen to be the black woman who wrote it! And, yes, us black women have to wear the label of anger. And that’s unfair. But my issues may be just like yours, no matter your race or color.
Each of us has to pull up the roots of anger from where they have grown within us and kill them before they do more damage.

· Why is it important for people of all backgrounds to learn to let go of anger?
Each of us needs to learn about our anger––and what triggers us to lash out––before we hurt someone, or even ourselves. We have to understand where anger came from and why it’s there.

Triggers can arise at any given moment, even in small situations. If you’re not familiar with your triggers, you won’t be able to control or avoid a negative response toward people who may be completely innocent and undeserving of your angry response. Nor will you be able to protect yourself from the consequences of your anger.

Not knowing your triggers––or what causes you to rage––can cost you everything.