But at some point, reality always sets in. The pressures and challenges of daily life plus simply getting to know the person you’re in love with at a deeper level and discovering each other’s flaws will cause the excitement of the honeymoon phase to subside.
For too many couples, this shift to reality is the beginning of the end. But when love is real, it should be the beginning of “forever,” says author Tanya Zaufi. Tanya, who’s from Canada, met her true love, Josef, who’s from Austria, while they were both working on a cruise ship. Then, for 8 years, they struggled to adjust to the reality of life beyond the fantasy world on board. But they made it, and today are married with 2 children. She tells the whole story in her new memoir, All Over the Map: Two Lovers, Six Continents and a Date with Destiny.
Her tips for getting over the hurdles of transitioning from the honeymoon phase to the rest of your life?
- Always remember why you fell in love with them in the first place
- Keep working toward shared goals
- Compromise regularly and fairly
- Communicate with honesty and vulnerability
- Be willing to make sacrifices
Keep working toward shared goals - Just because you are past the honeymoon phase doesn’t mean you stop working together toward shared visions and goals. It’s just the opposite: striving together helps keep a relationship fresh, exciting and alive.
Compromise regularly and fairly - To make it past the honeymoon phase you have to be willing to compromise fairly. That means both of you have to make concessions. If you ask your partner to give something up, then be prepared to offer something back. These compromises you can view as being positive. This can include mundane everyday things or situations that are on a deeper level.
Communicate openly and honestly, letting your vulnerability show - If you need more or better communications, let your loved one know. They can’t read your mind.
Be willing to make sacrifices - This is the biggest lesson Tanya and Josef learned. Sacrifice may feel painful at times, but the upshot is that it will make your relationship that much more dynamic and powerful.
About the Author
Tanya Zaufi, author of All Over the Map: Two Lovers, Six Continents and a Date with Destiny, is a travel industry veteran who has worked at hotels, ski resorts and aboard the ships of major cruise lines. A passionate traveler, she has visited or sojourned in dozens of memorable places from the Austrian Alps and the Caribbean to Greece and Australia—her favorite destinations. When not writing, Tanya enjoys lake life, camping, hiking, cycling, and riding her ATV in the warmer months. During the winter season, she skis, snowshoes, skates and enjoys relaxing in the hot tub with a good glass of wine. She lives in Kelowna, British Columbia with her husband, Josef, and their two children. Above all, she loves seeing the world through her children’s eyes. Visit her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
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