Women and Mentoring

The coronavirus continues to change the way we work, but new numbers show that 61 percent of women are looking to make a career pivot post-pandemic. Juggling work, school, and other added stressors, it’s crucial for women to support each other in the workplace and beyond.

Patty Alper, a nationally recognized expert on mentorship and founder of the Project Based Mentorship® program, has been closely monitoring the impact of the COVID-19 crisis on female professionals. Now, she’s offering actionable steps for becoming a mentor—or finding one—as we gain our footing in the changing world of work.

What are unique challenges for women brought on by covid—
Hmmm—unique challenges for women during covid—depends how intimate I can get to answer this question…and it also depends on how old you are. For example: Getting your hair colored and cut---no longer is so easy. But, is it worth it to venture forth to an isolated hairdresser with outdoor chairs so that you can feel and look like a human being? Or find a masked beautician who is fastidiously clean-- to come to your home ? More importantly, this begs the question of why? How important is it to look like the self image you have of yourself--- particularly when you don’t even see people. No people, except a neighbor or two when you take a walk. I’ve come to learn, however, that I do this strictly for my own self esteem and for my marriage

Then again---lets chat about running a household – ya know—shelter and food—During Covid it is more like planning for warfare. You have to build your strategy. Are you going to the store? If so, better pick an off beat time, equip yourself with masks, gloves, wipes, and prepare an ample shopping list so you go as infrequently as possible—. Then again, preparing food is a whole other beast. Am I right? If you share your household with 1,2,or 3 others—all of a sudden you have to think about three meals a day. I don’t even know how to think about, much less buy for three meals---If you’re trying to work, you have to grab time in between meal prep—organization becomes a premium skill.

Of course, there is also the proximity of your living quarters –another unique covid challenge. If you’re smart, you will have developed a few daily routines—that work around privacy and sharing space. Ya know time together, and time apart. I like to set aside work out time---that offers solitude and blowing off steam. Then there is delegation. I think its good to let others pitch in---like Tuesday is your husband’s day to cook? And who’s day is it to clean?—Moving around dining spaces to different areas of the house is kind of fun…..When grand children come over sometimes we have a picnic in the middle of the front hall. Or my husband and I set a small table for two in the living room by the fire. I find I’m using every inch of my home to the max.

Balancing Child care and work schedules is the biggest hurdle. Particularly if kids are home and learning on line. For Mom’s, of course, kids come first and they are more needy and demanding of attention than usual. Negotiating expectations with an employer or with clients, requires finesse plus learning how to complete assignments intermittently throughout the course of a day or night.

Balance, organize, schedule, delegate—time alone, time together, time for yourself---, stay patient, be creative, be flexible, lower expectations---cut your hair!

I believe these are the elements that help women get through Covid challenges---
They also might help with the subliminal feelings of isolation, entrapment, and anxiety.

How can female professionals help support the next generation-
I have written a book titled Teach to Work, How a Mentor, a Mentee, and a Project, Can Close the Skills Gap in America because I believe education today is not really preparing our kids to enter the 21 st century workforce.

So much of school is rote memorization, learning subject matter and taking tests. Imagine adding real practitioners to become involved in education through an adjunct role. Think about a student who would be ‘ learning from doers, and learning by doing’—They would meet people and learn about professions, and engage with role models who are neither their parent, their teacher, or their boss. Imagine to try cooking while learning from a chef, to understand civics from an attorney, to consider math’s relevancy from an investor, to grow vegetables with a farmer, or to design with an architect. Where teachers are fantastic—I believe education can be enhanced and made exciting when kids apply what they are learning to a real world project, and where they learn from someone in the field. Theory vs practice.

The next generation learns a host of 21t century skills through what I call, Project Based Mentoring ®---to include—critical thinking, organization, collaboration, resourcefulness, grit, accountability, --and a wonderful medley of soft skills from role models.

How can a mentor/mentee relationship withstand crises—maintain rapport and support
Much of what I talk about in my book is called Project Based Mentoring ®. This intergenerational relationship is designed to mimic workplace settings—and real world projects. Actually, one element of the secret sauce, is that the student has to pick the project—and take ownership of its hypothesis. The youth finds a need they’ve identified that they want to pursue, and the practitioner/mentor becomes a devil’s advocate—offering questions and inputs that keep the project on track. Together they develop a master plan, research, and implementation---to a deadline.

Of course, there are obstacles along the way. Hypothesis do not always work out. These bumps in the road become the crisis in the mentor/mentee relationship. We have developed a variety of tactics and responses to help mentors work with youth through this dynamic. For example, we suggest that the Mentor help the youth through extensive listening and feedback roles—but most importantly, the youth has ownership of the project. The suggestions from the Mentor are strictly recommendations—but the authority lies with the kid. The mentor gives up all authority. Another tactic during a crisis, is to re- list all that has been accomplished in the project, to date. Sometimes youth get frustrated with the speed of success and need to hear a review. Or, to help the student prepare an outline of alternatives, and talk them through the pros and cons. And then together, think through the action steps necessary to move forward.

By the way, this collaboration, is enormously beneficial to teach soft skills, grit, and what I will call strategy integration—learning how to adapt to market change.

How is mentoring a win/win when giving back to the community/

How can mentorship bridge generational divides?
Mentoring is a win/win---for both the mentor and mentee.

Three quotes:
a) Professor Urie Bronfenbrenner of Cornell University, and founder of Head Start studied mentoring relationships in Japan and found that a one-to-one relationship between a pair of unrelated individuals, usually of different ages, can have a profound impact on an individual’s development. He offered this definition, (which happens to be my favorite definition of mentoring)
”A mentor is an older, more experienced person who seeks to further the development of character and competence in a younger person.”

b) In 1924, the French government created the Meilleurs Ouvrers de France, a coveted award that goes to 2 percent of a vast pool of applicants who enjoy exceptional skills in craftsmanship. The government program designates a select few ‘metiers’, or ambassadors of their special talent. The president of this distinguished award program said, “We must protect these ‘metiers’. If we lose them, we lose all the brains in our country, and then we would be lost.”

c) Geriatric Psychiatrist, Dr Gene Cohen, in his book The Creative Age, suggests that intergenerational support offers clear health benefits to the mentor—even if they are older. An opportunity to do something with a common creative goal, and bring together a rich diversity of perspective, makes the blended experience uniquely rich and motivating. One benefit for the mentor is a psychological reward—for being engaged and sharing your knowledge, and another is practical—in having a purpose, a schedule, and a value. “The benefits often extend far from the origin of the collaboration.”, he says.

To summarize: The mentor and mentee represent differing intergenerational perspectives and experiences within the same community. When you bring them together to collaborate creatively, they learn from one another, skills get passed on, history is shared, character is role modelled, and new competencies are taught. The benefits far outweigh the effort and the community has formed lasting new bonds that carry on generationally.

Think about an older wiser mentor that you’ve learned from in your life. Have you ever forgotten?

PATTY ALPER, author of Teach to Work, is president of the Alper Portfolio Group, a marketing and consulting company, and is a board member of both the Network for Teaching Entrepreneurship (NFTE) and US2020, the White House initiative to build mentorship in STEM (science, technology, engineering, and math) careers. She has also been appointed to the corporate committee for Million Women Mentors. She consults with community colleges and universities in developing mentor programs.