I had a chance to interview Chicago resident, Howard H. Prager, author of the critically acclaimed book, “Make Someone’s Day”. Prager discusses how in this age of negativity and social media, those four words are so powerful. He also shares fascinating stories of the impact those words have had one leaders, athletes, and entertainers.
Why is the phrase "you made my day" such a big phrase?
When people do things for us or we do things for others, what do we say? Thanks! I appreciate it! You're the best! All nice, beautiful phrases of gratitude and appreciation. But when we say to someone "You made my day" or someone says that to us, something remarkable has happened. And it happened in the right way and the right time for that person, because it's person and situation dependent. What that means is it happens when YOU need it. What's the 'it?" It can be as simple as a smile. When we're frustrated or lost in thought or disconnected, someone smiling at us may be all it takes to make our day. Other times maybe it's helping with an errand, holding or lifting a bag when your arms are full, etc. And of course it can also be much larger things, such as Oprah giving out new cars to her audience!
Why is it important to recognize people who have an impact in our lives?
We often don't tell people how much they mean to us, influenced us, and have helped us. Chapter 12 talks about Giving thanks to those that made your life. Who has impacted you and played an important part in your development, growth and life? Your parents? Other relatives? Teachers, coaches, bosses or mentors? It's never too late to thank them and tell them how they have helped "make your life."
How can we make sure not to overlook people who are important to us?
Just be gracious. It's hard to remember everyone who has had an influence on you, and some of those people may not be around anymore. My guess is that they would have done what they did because they cared about you and weren't looking for any appreciation. That's why it's so special when you are able to reach and do or say something for them. And here's the key - do it now! Don't wait. Pick up the phone, write a note, take them to breakfast or lunch. And let them know how they made a difference in your life. And don't worry if you can't get to everyone or even find the contact for everyone. Do what you can and then let it go.
What made you write the book?
A young woman asked me to sign a petition while I was waiting for the morning commuter train. I asked what for and she said to get someone on the ballot for election. I said great and signed. She looked up at me and said "You made my day!" Yes, that emphatically. I couldn't believe it and couldn't get it out of my head. All I did was sign a petition. Was I her first? Had she been rejected before me? It left me feeling incredibly excited all day, and going back through my life to think about times that those words were said. The book took off from there.
What are some of your favorite stories from the book?
How about when someone's boss brought a present home for your child who just loves soccer, and on a vacation to Argentina they thought of you and came home with a Lionel Messi jersey for them? Wow. Or brought a wooden toy train from Sweden because your 3 year old loves everything about trains. How about the neighbor who cleared my driveway of snow when I was running late and had to get out to a meeting? Have you ever travelled to a different country, were frustrated trying to communicate and wasn't sure the other person understood you, and then the other person just smiled at you and nodded OK? All unexpected, all thoughtful, all made someone's day. Those are just a few of the hundreds of stories in the book that go across all types of experiences.
How does saying "you made my day” impact us?
Chapter 3 talks about the neuroscience behind it. When you make someone's day, they get a neurological "cocktail" that extends far beyond an endorphin rush, it brings joy and makes their brain feel good. In return, our mirror neurons fire and create what I call a boomerang effect, and we too, get that same feeling. That's why make somoene's day is so important and such a powerful experience.
What is your VIP model?
I realized that although it may come naturally or easy to some, other times it takes some effort. Who doesn't want to feel like a VIP?! So I created the VIP model to help people practice and learn how to make someone's day more often. The V is View and observe what's happening, either in person or online. The I stands for Identify and consider what options you may want to take to make someone's day - what do you think they need? And the P is for Plan and act. Sometimes it's as simple as just doing it. Smile, help someone with a bag. Sometimes it takes more planning before you act, such as helping someone rebuild a home lost in a disaster. Then there's a fourth element after you've done it - R, Review and Reflect on what you did, what the reaction was, what you learned, and what you may do again.
Visit my website, Howardhprager.com to read the first chapter and get worksheets to be able to track, improve, and grow your practice of making someone's day.
No comments:
Post a Comment